1. Bullying and Cyber Bullying What Parents Need to Know Richmond Hill Middle School: Uniting Against Bullying Presenter: Ms. Taisa Tremble RHMS 6 th Grade School Counselor

2. Definition -Bullying is when someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself. -Bad Behavior is inappropriately reacting to a situation in a mean and hurtful way. http://www.olweus.org

3. Definition Three components of bullying: R epeated I ntentional and Aggressive P ower Imbalance

4. Traditional Bullying

5. Bullying Today

6. Cyber bullying Similarities Repetition Intentional Power Imbalance

7. Cyber bullying Differences Anonymous- 50% of students reported they didn’t know who bullied them. Disinhibition– “You can’t see me I can’t see you.” Accessibility– 24/7 Punitive Fears- victims don’t report because fear having computer or phone/computer privileges taken away Bystanders- different for cyber bullying- don’t witness actual face to face confrontation.

8. What can our school do? Investigate the situation with documentation from all involved students. Speak with all students about appropriately handling each situation on both sides. Always inform parents Make sure you are aware of the situation You can do some investigating of your own This developmental stage is very difficult for children and there is A LOT going on, and sometimes students make poor decisions when they do not know what to do. Take punishment on a case by case basis 8

9. What can our school do? October is National Bullying Prevention Month! School Counselor Classroom Guidance Lessons About Bullying and Teaching empathy How does it make you feel when someone says something mean to you? How do you think someone would feel reading a text or message you sent? Why do you think students say, text, write mean things to each other? What would your grandma, mom, parents, teachers think? Wear Blue to Block out Bullying on October 7 Posters Uniting Against Bullying Chain and Pledge all students will take and sign School Wide Assembly about Bullying 9

10. What can parents do? Talk with your child Cultivate and maintain open, candid communication Conversation starters “There have been a lot of news stories about people being bullied lately, do you know of people dealing with this?” “Have you ever had any problems with people on the internet?” “Has anyone ever bothered or threatened you?” “Do you know of kids who are picked on in school?” “How can I help you make it stop, without embarrassing you?” (www.cyberbullying.us)

11. What can parents do? Your child may not always talk…so observe and listen Offer to drive your child and their friends to events Observe their interactions with friends Volunteer at the school Attend school events Chaperone field trips Pay attention to changes

12. What can parents do? Don’t over react. Your child will respond how you will respond and there is always more to the situation. Empathize with your child. Help them understand bullying is wrong and it is not their fault. Document bullying incidents. Print out copies of inappropriate emails, Facebook posts, online communications. Be a positive role model. (http://www.stopbullying.gov)

13. What can parents do? Encourage “upstander” reporting and support. Get help for your child at school. Encourage students to pursue interests and activities to build more positive friendships. Help your child develop strategies and skills for handling bullying.

14. Warning signs a child may be bullied Avoiding or fear of going to school Sudden failing grades Frequent health complaints- headaches, stomachaches Withdrawing or losing interest in activities with friends Feeling, sad, moody, anxious, depressed, withdrawn, helpless Unexplained injuries

15. Warning signs a child may be bullied Damaged or missing clothing or items Losing items of value- iPod, money, jewelry Trouble sleeping- or frequent nightmares Changes in eating habits Avoiding or spending excessive time on computer Significant mood changes after using the computer

16. What to tell your child if he/she is being bullied… 1.) Don't respond or show a reaction. Students who bully like to see that they can upset you. 2.) Calmly and assertively tell the student to stop...or say nothing and then walk away. 3.) Use humor, if this is easy for you to do. 4.) Don’t give an opportunity for you to be alone with the bully. 5.) Don't bring expensive things or money to school.

17. What to tell your child if he/she is being bullied… 6.) Sit with a group of friends at lunch or on the bus. 7.) Walk with friends or a teacher to your classes. 8.) Join activities you like to make more positive friendships 9.) Always REPORT any bullying that does not stop or makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe to your parents, teacher, counselor or an adult you trust.

18. If you are bullied … Stop Block Tell http://www.stopcyberbullying.org

19. Internet Safety Tips for Parents Keep computer in a common room- NOT a child’s bedroom Establish rules for internet use - What sites can you visit - Who are your friends– should not have boyfriend/girlfriend they have never met. - Who can they talk to? - How long can they be online? - When can they use the computer? Know your child’s passwords– “friend” your child on social networking sites (SNS) i.e. facebook, myspace

20. Parental Controls for Cell Phones Restrict Camera Use Restrict Voice Calls Restrict time of day phone will work Block Content Block Two-way Text Messages Limit Wireless Web Access Check with your cell phone service provider for available parental controls.

21. Resources http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov http://cyberbullying.us/index.php http://www.digizen.org/resources/cyberbullying/films/uk/lfit-film.aspx http://www.connectsafely.org/ http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/index2.html www.wiredsafety.org http://www.netsmartz.org/Educators http://www.cox.com/takecharge/safe_teens_2009/media/2009_teen_surv ey_internet_and_wireless_safety.pdf http://www.cox.com/takecharge/safe_teens_2009/media/2009_teen_surv ey_internet_and_wireless_safety.pdf http://cybersmartcurriculum.org/

22. Questions?