1. Reviewing Self-Disclosure  True/False: Self-Disclosure must involve intentionality, choice, private information, and risk  Which is more personal/private? History or Story  True/False: Self-Disclosure is an objective process  How does reciprocity factor into self-disclosure?  What are some reasons individuals choose to self- disclose?  What are some reasons individuals decide NOT to self-disclose?  What does the Social Penetration Model/Theory say about personal information and self-disclosure?

2. Communicating Conflict Chapter 9 Recap/Lecture

3. True or False?  Conflict is avoidable  Conflict can be productive

4. Interpersonal Conflict  “The interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals and interference from each other in achieving those goals” (p. 180)

5. Elements of Interpersonal Conflict  Interaction  Created/sustained through communication  Interdependence  Some relationship; need for each other  Perceptions  ….of incompatible goals  Also consider selective perceptions (in interactions)  Conflict as Goal Oriented  Incompatible goals

6. Dark Side vs. Bright Side Dark Side of Conflict  Bullying  Violence and Aggression Bright Side of Conflict  Managing conflict  part of being a competent communicator  Productive conflict management  promotes physical and mental health  Expressing feelings; learning those of others  Relationship maintenance  Increasing confidence  Increasing depth  Improves decision making skills

7. Types of Conflict  Image Conflicts  Disagreement about self definition/image  Content (Substantive) Conflicts  Public vs. Private  Revolves around an issue  Value Conflicts  Addresses a question of right or wrong  Relational Conflicts  Issues about a relationship  Serial Conflicts  Focuses on time frame; not subject (unlike other 4 types)  Recur over time; no resolution  Serial Conflicts  Meta-Conflicts  Overlapping?

8. Myths about Conflict  All conflict is a result of miscommunication  Good communication resolves ALL conflict  Talking about conflict is always the best strategy  Additional:  All conflict is negative  Conflict is avoidable

9. Role of Gender, Sex, and Culture  Gender and Sex  Relational life vs. Public life  Collaborative vs. Competitive  Culture  How we behave in conflict  What we have conflict about

10. Communication Patterns  Symmetrical Escalation  Symmetrical Withdrawal  Pursuit-Withdrawal vs. Withdrawal-Pursuit  Symmetrical Negotiation  Which of the patterns are positive? Negative?

11. Explaining/Understanding Conflict The Four-Part Model  Interdependence of Four Parts; happen simultaneously  You and Me: Participants  Context: Emotional background  Subject: Topic of the argument  Ignoring any part; unhealthy  Placating (no “me”)  Pouncing (no “you”)  Computing (no “context”)  Distracting (no “subject”) The Explanatory Process Model  Conflict occurs in episodes  Distal Context  Proximal Context  Conflict Interaction  Proximal Outcomes  Distal Outcomes Background

12. Power and Conflict  How do the two relate?  Power = ‘ability to control behavior of others’  Use of Power  Direct application of power (e.g. spanking)  Direct and virtual use of power (e.g. threatening to spank)  Indirect application of power (e.g. “I’d like to see that room clean asap”)  Relational messages (e.g. “I’m your mother”)  Hidden Power (e.g. Turning down date; mom won’t approve)  Power is relational  Most consider responses to power  Sex differences?  Empowerment

13. Conflict Management  Staying calm (lightening up)  Stay in the present  Acknowledge other’s comments  Provide nonverbal and verbal feedback  Reframing  Presume/express goodwill; don’t expect the worst  Ask questions  Listen  Consider active listening  Practice cultural sensitivity

14. Application Exercise  Create a skit about interpersonal conflict based on the type of conflict you are assigned  Your skit should walk us through the conflict and ways to mediate the conflict—based on what was learned through the chapter  Use an example of a communication pattern and/or the use of power (as discussed in the chapter)  After each skit, groups will have to walk us through how the skit served as a real life example of interpersonal conflict  Using the Four Part Model or the Explanatory Model (whichever you are assigned)  Cannot pull an example from the book; be creative!!!