1. Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships Section 3. Marriage and Family The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 1

2. Outline Introduction Concubines Mistresses Social acceptance Road ahead The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 2

3. Introduction Many people willingly exchange youth and beauty for money or influence. E.g., a story of a female undergraduate Such trades are rationalized and accepted in many circles. These trades tend to take two forms, loosely translated as concubines (Pinyin: er’nai) and mistresses. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 3

4. Introduction Chinese affairs are somewhat unique in three aspects: youth and beauty are considered to be tradable and depreciable assets that can be exchanged for power and money; affairs are nearly ubiquitous; considerable number of people in Chinese society accept the phenomenon. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 4

5. Concubines Concubines have a long history in China extending over millennia China officially outlaws polygamy in 1950. But, in Hong Kong, public relationships with concubines still exist. In the 1980s, the case of “villages of concubines” in Shenzhen. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 5

6. Concubines As the economy has developed, some wealthy mainland Chinese also have adopted the practice of having concubines. – A concubine is normally involved in a long term relationship with a man; – The two may even have a child together; – A concubine exchanges years of life for material income, such as an apartment, a car, cash, or a job; – Such relationships typically are not driven by love. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 6

7. Concubines Two perceptions on these exchanges: – women and men (their endowed possessions and acquired possessions) possess tradable assets; – women are mostly judged by their endowed possessions, which unfortunately depreciate quickly over time, while men are mostly judged by their acquired possessions, which typically appreciate over time. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 7

8. Concubines Hence, these relationship are rational and exclusive exchanges of youth (and beauty) for wealth, and such exchanges have become socially acceptable. Examples: ̶A story of an MBA student ̶Concubines related to corrupt officials The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 8

9. Mistresses Two major differences between concubines and mistresses in present-day China: – Official status as a wife – May involve love, and the exchange of youth and beauty for material goods is more subtle. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 9

10. Mistresses Two subtypes of mistresses: – Those who are having “traditional” affairs motivated by excitement and love as is typical in the United States; – Those who are in relationships purely for material exchange. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 10

11. Mistresses Why do they want to break up other’s marriage (“peach- picking gang”)? – these women prefers their husbands to be mature and successful; – these women cannot wait for someone of similar age to become successful; – in the eyes of these women, breaking up other people’s marriages carries little moral guilt. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 11

12. Mistresses Many men take advantage of potential mistresses’ aspirations by falsely promising. – Interestingly, many corruption cases have come to light because of these “broken promises”. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 12 The motivation to have a concubine or a mistress also differs: – some may have concubines because they want more children; – others take a mistress out of “mid-life crisis”.

13. Social acceptance “Keep the red flag flying high at home, but keep many colorful flags outside.” – Many wives accept the presence of concubines and/or mistresses as long as their husbands do not seek divorce and maintain a façade of normal family. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 13 – It also has become some men’s objective. E.g., dinner party – Profit from the relationship. e.g., a government official from Zhejiang

14. Road ahead We make several predictions on these behaviors: – the social perception will continue to change, a new generation of women will take the lead – concubines will eventually disappear over time, e.g., investigation before investment – relationships with mistresses will persist, but they will likely become secret. In short, we believe the state of extramarital relationships will gradually evolve towards a more conservative style. The Chinese Way, Ding and Xu, 2014 Chapter 17. Extramarital Relationships 14