1. Working on clarity at the European Commission Clarity breakfast Malachy Hargadon 8 October 2015 European Commission Representation in the UK

2. Unclear writing in the EU Hurry Jo SESAR JU Fubar

3. Unclear writing in the EU Council Resolution of 8 June 1993 on the quality of drafting of Community legislation 1. the wording of the act should be clear, simple, concise and unambiguous; unnecessary abbreviations, 'Community jargon' and excessively long sentences should be avoided

4. A never-ending story 1997 - Fight the fog – DG Translation Editing service To improve the quality of Commission documents and websites, making sure the language is clear, correct and concise, and hence more readable and translatable.

5. A never-ending story White paper on a European communication policy (2006) Parliament resolution: Recommends that the Commission use clear and concise language when communicating with the media and citizens, and that it does so systematically in the official languages of their Member State of origin or residence; believes that EU jargon increases rather than closes the gap between the EU institutions and citizens

6. Moving towards the clear writing campaign DG Translation takes the initiative 2007 ad hoc group: Secretariat-General, Legal Service, DG Communication, DG Administration, DG Translation 2009 survey

7. What do we edit? Multiplier documents - impact Policy papers Documents for translation Documents for a wide readership

8. When we edit documents - the specifics Target audience – who is the reader? What do they want to know? Is the register suitable? Language – does the spelling, punctuation, grammar, style conform to good English usage and Commission rules? Clarity – clear writing principles to make the text easier to read Consistency – terminology, headings, hyphens, capitals Structure and flow – length, duplication/repetition --------------------------------- Non-linguistic problems – references, names of bodies/people (accents/diacritics), formatting

9. Clear writing campaign aims o Campaign launched in 2010 o Encourage everyone in the European Commission to write more clearly o Shorter, simpler documents, less jargon o Improve the impact of the message o Help to improve the EU’s public image o Contribute to better regulation

10. Campaign resources & activities 'How to write clearly' booklet in all official languages Interactive website – Writers' toolbox, clear writing tips, helpline Clear Writing Awards Online tutorial Training targeted to specific document types - and online training

11. Who we train Authors of document 'packages' that will come to us for editing Units/groups on request Interested staff

12. Training demand increasing 10 sessions in 2014  13 in first half 2015 Packages: enlargement, small business act Second half 2015: European Semester country report teams

13. How we give training By unit Max 20 participants Half-day Tailored to unit's/group's specific needs and weaknesses Shorter sessions upon request Training also provided by HR

14. Training content '10 top tips' of How to write clearly Examples from Claire's Clear Writing Tips George Orwell's rules for authors Internal style guides What to avoid! Frequent oral and written exercises Key issues arising from unit's/group's output Solutions to these issues Guidance document for teams drafting packages

15. The most common problems with Commission texts abbreviations + eurojargon passive verbs nouns not verbs abstract language long poor structure

16. Example: Shorter sentences are clearer! Against this background, the Union and its Member States should take action to ensure that citizens have access to clean water and that water abstraction respects available renewable water resource limits, by 2020, with a view to maintaining, achieving or enhancing good water status in accordance with the Water Framework Directive, including by improving water efficiency through the use of market mechanisms such as water pricing that reflects the true value of water, as well as other tools, such as education and awareness raising. (84 words) Against this background, the Union and its Member States should take action to ensure the public has access to clean water. They should also ensure that, by 2020, water abstraction respects limits on the renewable water resources available. The goal of such action is to maintain, achieve or improve good water status in accordance with the Water Framework Directive. This should be done by improving the efficiency of water use by employing market mechanisms, such as pricing that reflects the true value of water. Other tools, such as education and awareness- raising, should also be used.

17. Example: Some tidying up… In the reporting period, there have been 17 (compared to 8 last year) first instance convictions for organised crimes, including 12 for drugs trafficking, 4 for smuggling of cigarettes, 1 for facilitating irregular migration. In 5 of the drugs case, perpetrators were also convicted for money laundering. 8 people have been convicted on appeal. Nine persons were acquitted after standing trial on organised crime cases. In the reporting period, there were 17 first-instance convictions for organised crime(s), against 8 the previous year. Twelve of the convictions were for drugs trafficking, 4 for cigarette smuggling and 1 for aiding illegal migration. In 5 of the drugs cases, the perpetrators were also convicted of money laundering. Eight people were convicted on appeal. Nine were acquitted after standing trial on organised crime charges.

18. Better Regulation (May 2015) Commission calls on European Parliament and the Council to: Commit to better legal drafting so that EU laws should be ‘correct, comprehensible, clear, and consistent — so that everyone understands their rights and obligations easily and with certainty’.