1. SAFE DATE NOTES
RELATIONSHIP – A BOND OR CONNECTION YOU HAVE WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

2. RELATIONSHIPS ARE ‘SOCIAL’ COMMITMENTS
RELATIONSHIPS ARE ‘SOCIAL’ COMMITMENTS. WHAT ARE SOME TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE POSSIBLE?

3. WHO MIGHT YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH?

4. THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENCE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS:
FAMILY
FRIENDSHIPS
CASUAL
ROMANTIC
SPORT TEAMS
YOUTH GROUPS
RELIGIOUS GROUPS

5. ROLE – HOW YOU BEHAVE OR ACT IN A RELATIONSHIP.
YOU HAVE A CERTAIN ROLE IN EACH OF THE FOLLOWING POSITIONS - CERTAIN EXPECTATIONS AND BEHAVIORS.
Child Employee
Student Neighbor
Athlete
Sister or brother
Partner

6. FRIENDSHIP A SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE BASED ON
TRUST
CARING
CONSIDERATION
RESPECT
HONESTY
HOW DO YOU CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS?

7. One of Maslow’s basic human needs is TO BELONG AND BE LOVED
INTIMACY refers to a feeling of close attachment and belonging together. Types: Physical Emotional Cognitive Experiential Intimacy results from a close bond formed through knowledge and experiences with the other.

8. 3 types of communication styles
Aggressive = being overly forceful. It might involve bullying or intimidation. Not paying attention to other’s feelings or needs.
Passive = being unwilling or unable to express thoughts or feelings. Putting other’s needs ahead of your own.
Assertive = expressing your feelings and needs clearly and respectfully. Standing up for your rights while respecting others.

9. PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS
HITTING SCRATCHING
PUSHING BITING
CHOKING SHAKING
PUNCHING PINCHING
RAPING SPITTING
SHOVING PULLING HAIR

10. EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS
Ignoring a partner’s feelings
Insulting a partner’s values and beliefs
Acting in an intimidating way
Calling a date names
Isolating a partner from friends or family
Acting jealous or spreading rumors

11. EMOTIONAL ABUSE (continued)
Scaring a partner
Keeping a partner from leaving
Humiliating a partner in public or private
Telling lies
Threatening to hurt oneself or partner
Damaging a partner’s property

12. HARMFUL BEHAVIORS BECOME ABUSE WHEN . . .
THEY ARE USED TO:
MANIPULATE another person
GAIN CONTROL or POWER of someone
Make YOU FEEL BAD about YOURSELF or OTHERS
Make YOU FEEL AFRAID of your partner
Make someone FEEL GUILTY

13. EMOTIONAL ABUSE MIGHT NOT BE “ABUSIVE” IF ONLY DONE ONCE.
PROGRESSION
No relationship is perfect. There may be feelings of confusion, anger, or jealousy- this is normal in relationships.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE MIGHT NOT BE “ABUSIVE” IF ONLY DONE ONCE.

14. BUT . . . IT BECOMES A PROBLEM WHEN…..
THESE ACTIONS HAPPEN MORE THAN ONCE AND BECOME A REGULAR BEHAVIOR IN THE RELATIONSHIP. AND WHEN USED TO MANIPULATE , CONTROL OR MAKE SOMEONE FEEL BAD.

15. Why do people abuse? PEOPLE ABUSE TO CONTROL THE WAY SOMEONE ACTS
PEOPLE ABUSE TO CONTROL THE WAY SOMEONE FEELS
PEOPLE ABUSE TO CONTROL THE WAY SOMEONE THINKS

16. SHORT TERM Consequences of abuse
Getting into trouble with school or law
Feeling intimidated or afraid
Feeling bossed or controlled
Get physically injured
Being humiliated or upset
Feelings of guilt, anger, or confusion

17. LONG TERM Consequences of abuse
Losing friends and being isolated
Criminal charges or jail time
Becoming depressed, feelings of suicide
Withdraw and isolate self
Not trust future relationships
Believe it is normal behavior

18. Barriers to Getting Help
Fear of hurting their dating partner
Fear of getting into trouble with one’s parents
Fear of being blamed or not believed
Fear of retaliation from abusive partner
Fear of being judged
Embarrassment
Not knowing HOW to improve the situation

19. SAFE SKILLS FOR BUILDING EQUAL POWER THROUGH COMMUNICATION
S Stay calm- use calming strategies to feel cool and collected
A Ask questions – Ask honest and open questions to better understand the situation
F Find out feelings – Find out how the other person feels about the situation that is causing the disagreement
E Exchange ideas for a possible solution