1. Parallel Thesis Statements

2. Obj.:  T.W.S.A.T.:  Identify, analyze and evaluate parallel elements and structure within example sentences. 11/18/13 73

3. Real Life Application-Purpose for this lesson.  This lesson will apply to all future thesis writing in High School and onward!  Writing is formulaic! (Math/Science Connection)  Learning to construct sentences with parallel elements will help you express yourself more clearly, concisely and fluently.  learning to use parallel structure will prepare them to improve their performance on writing assessments, as well. Explain that learning to create parallelism will be a very useful editing strategy to improve the sentence fluency of all their paragraphs, not just the introduction and thesis statement.

4. Thesis Statements  Parallel Definition: the state of being parallel or of corresponding in some way.  Synonyms: related or similar.  Supporting reasons are best presented in tight parallel structures.  Typically contain two parts: 1) the main assertion and 2) the main reasons supporting it, often listed in a parallel series. Give a few examples from previous lessons or discussions. Explain that using parallel structures allow the writer to pack a lot of information into a sentence and still retain clarity.

5. Cell Phone Example  Students should be allowed to carry cell phones at school. (Why? Because…)  1.Cell phones could give kids a greater sense of security.  2.Cell phones can be used to get help in emergencies.  3.Cell phones would help parents stay involved in their children’s school lives.

6. Using Stems  “because”  Cuts down wordiness  Sentence punctuated with commas separating the items, because they are from different “realms”.  Example

7. Same Sentence Structure  Not the same information/reason but the same format.  Look back at the example.  What parts of the strands are similar?

8. Clear-but 41 words in length.  “Students should be allowed to carry cell phones at school. Cell phones could give kids a greater sense of security. Also, students could use cell phones in emergencies. Having cell phones could help parents stay involved in their children’s school lives.”

9. Same info, clear and only 34 words in legth.  “Students should be allowed to carry cell phones at school because they provide students more security, they can be used in emergencies, and they keep parents involved in their children’s school lives.”

10. Why does it work? they keep parents involved in their children’s school lives they can be used in emergencies they provide students more security Because:

11. Same info-32 words! But is it clear?  “Students should be allowed to carry cell phones at school because they provide students more security, they can be used in emergencies, and they keep parents involved in their children’s school lives.”

12. Why?

13. There are always many possible ways to think about your topic and express your ideas.

14. You might have to rethink the ideas themselves….  How is using a cellphone in an emergency any different from providing security?  Do they seem similar?  Maybe change it to make schools safer?

15. Check for Understanding  Work in pairs to come up with a better thesis statement.  Write down the thesis statement with your peer on a separate piece of paper.  Be prepared to share with the class.  There is “never” a “right” construction; all writers need to constantly create and evaluate alternative phrasing, the way phrases are put together, or even rethink the ideas themselves.