1. Creative Conflict Management1

2. Objectives To recognize the inevitability of conflict
To develop a proactive approach to conflict management
To focus on achieving win-win outcomes
To learn and practice negotiation skills 2

3. How Is Conflict Defined?
A state of disharmony between incompatible or antithetical persons, ideas, or interests.
American Heritage Dictionary
Opposition between two simultaneous but
incompatible feelings; a state of opposition between
persons or ideas or interests; a disagreement or
argument about something important.
WordNet 3

4. Conflict: Myths and Reality
1. Conflict is usually dysfunctional in Agree _____ Disagree _____
a work environment.
2. Workplace conflict is inevitable Agree _____ Disagree _____
3. Conflict often reflects communication Agree _____ Disagree _____
breakdown.
4. Most conflicts can be resolved Agree _____ Disagree _____
5. If avoided, most conflicts will Agree _____ Disagree _____
eventually go away.
6. Conflict can help build relationships. Agree _____ Disagree _____
7. Conflict can be a motivator for Agree _____ Disagree _____
positive change. 4

5. Conflict: The Facts Conflict is inevitable
Most conflict can be managed
Your style of interacting with others will be a determining factor in whether or not you will successfully manage conflict 5

6. Conflict: More Facts
Conflict, managed in a healthy way can result in:
personal and professional
growth
improved relationships
better communication
increased morale and
productivity
Conflict, managed in an unhealthy way can result in:
distrust
violence/aggression/ anger
withdrawal
decreased morale and
productivity 6

7. What’s Your Conflict Management Style?
Aggressive
Assertive
Passive 7

8. Negotiation
Specific approaches, skills and techniques that focus on transforming conflict into productive interactions with a win/win outcome.
Win/Win 8

9. Assertion Assertion is a key skill for the management of conflict
Needs are clearly stated in a direct, respectful manner
Speaker takes “ownership” of the need or want
Speaker does not intimidate or deny the rights of others
Speaker maintains self-respect while demonstrating respect for others 9

10. Assertion Message Describe Behavior: Express Effect: Specify:
When....
Express Effect:
I feel... I think... I believe...
Specify:
I would prefer... I would like it if next
time you would... 10

11. Communicating Your Reaction to Another Person’s Behavior - An Example
A co-worker has the habit of leaving things on your desk – from half-empty coffee cups to notepads. You have asked this person once before to please be sure to remove any items that belong to him. But he keeps doing the same thing. What do you do now? You go to the co-worker and say . . .
“When you leave your personal belongs on my desk . . .”
(My reaction is) “I get annoyed . . .”
“Because I either have to throw your things away or take the time to find you to give them back.”
What I want to happen is: “I would really appreciate your making sure you take everything with you.” 11

12. Communicating Your Reaction to Another Person’s Behavior
Word has gotten back to you that someone you work with has been gossiping about you to others. This is not the first time this has happened. However, you have never felt comfortable raising the issue directly with this person in the past. This time you decide to say something.
When you __________________________________________________
(My reaction is) ______________________________________________
Because ___________________________________________________
What I want to happen is ______________________________________ 12

13. Managing Conflict through Negotiation
Negotiation is back and forth communication
designed to reach agreement between people who have some goals that are shared and others that are opposed. Effective negotiation requires excellent verbal communication and listening skills. It is most effective when the parties can reach a win-win outcome. 13

14. Why Bother to Negotiate with a Win/Win Outcome in Mind?
Productivity, morale and quality of work will improve
You’ll get help when you need it
Conflict can be managed, if not resolved
You’ll experience less stress
You’ll maintain important relationships 14

15. Is this issue negotiable?
Before You Begin, Ask . . .
Is this issue negotiable?
Am I (or are the parties involved) willing to work toward collaboration?
Is there a value to negotiation in this particular situation? 15

16. The 7 Steps of Negotiation
Describe the conflict or problem.
Listen to the other person’s point of view.
Ask questions; gather information.
Focus on the goals you share.
Look at possible outcomes.
Select a solution that will best achieve the shared goals and that is fair and workable.
Establish criteria for checking results. 16

17. Case Scenario: Rita’s Perspective
Rita and Chris, share responsibility for preparing an important report. Rita is very concerned about completing a draft of the report early enough to allow sufficient time for careful review and editing. She feels that most people wait until the last minute to get the work in and then sacrifice quality since they don’t have enough opportunity to improve the writing or to correct all errors. She thinks that she is a better writer than Chris and feels that he doesn’t have a good sense of how a report should read. 17

18. Case Scenario: Chris’ Perspective
Chris is meticulous about gathering all of the data needed for the report. In fact, he considers himself far more thorough in his approach than Rita. He also thinks that Rita tends to focus more on style than on content. As far as he is concerned, having a well-written report is important, but a responsible person certainly can’t consider style more important than making sure that all important information has been included. 18

19. Case Scenario: The Conflict
Chris and Rita can’t agree on a time line for the report. Rita insists that he turn in all of his information at least one week before the report is due so that she can be assured of enough time for review and rewriting. Chris argues that this will not give him enough time to recheck the data and determine if anything is missing. Rita becomes angry and accuses Chris of being “lost in little details” and not being able to “see the forest for the trees.” Chris is equally angry and accuses Rita of being willing to sacrifice accuracy for appearance. He claims that her approach to the work is superficial and will result in a lower quality product than he could complete on his own. Rita and Chris’s mutual hostility grows until neither one is able to produce quality work. 19

20. Steps 1-3 of Conflict Management
Describe the conflict or problem.
How would you describe this problem to an outsider?
2. Listen to the other person’s point of view.
What is Rita’s point of view?
What is Chris’ point of view?
3. Ask questions; gather information.
If you were Rita, what questions might you ask Chris?
If you were Chris, what would you ask Rita? 20

21. Steps 4 and 5 4. Focus on common goals
Do Rita and Chris have any goals in common? If so, what are they?
5. Look at possible outcomes
What are some possible ways to handle this conflict? 21

22. Steps 6 and 7
6. Select a solution that will best achieve the goals of both parties and that is fair and workable.
What are some possible solutions you can offer to Rita and Chris?
7. Establish criteria for checking results.
If Rita and Chris test a possible solutions, how will they know whether or not it works? 22

23. Special Situations: Handling Your Own Anger
Recognize/acknowledge your anger
Be clear about what are appropriate and inappropriate expressions of anger
Stay focused on problem solving
Take time out if needed 23

24. Handling Other People’s Anger
Try hard not to take it personally
Acknowledge the other person’s anger
Listen carefully
Try to maintain privacy
Ask the other party to sit down
Keep your voice calm
Don’t be judgmental 24

25. Know When to Intervene Start of Slow Down Intervention Cool Off
Take Off
Cool Off
Problem
Solve
Identify the other person’s anger
Acknowledge the anger
Allow its expression, as appropriate
Intervene when appropriate 25

26. Case Scenario: Handling Anger
You just got off the phone with an angry client who was unhappy with work performed by your organization. He insisted that you correct it immediately. When you indicated that you would have to review his requests with your supervisor, he yelled: “I don’t have time for this.” Then, he hung up.
What are you feeling?
What should you do next?
How can you deal with your anger about the situation?
If a similar situation happens again, how might you handle it in order to calm the caller down and prevent him from hanging up on you? 26

27. Know When to Ask for Help
You can’t handle the situation alone
You can’t be objective
A participant in the conflict poses a threat to himself/herself or others
The situation has the potential for considerable damage to your organization 27

28. Summary: Tips for Managing Conflict
Be proactive; anticipate
Communicate assertively
Keep dialogue going
Never assume conflict will just “go away”
Stick to a model for conflict management
Focus on a win-win outcome
Practice
Know when to get help 28