1. The Great Gatsby/Death of a Salesman Analysis:
The good, the bad,
and the ugly…

2. Common Mistakes
1) Not enough specific thesis support/proof in body paragraphs.
2) Use of “you” & “your” throughout, still…
3) STOP talking to/addressing the reader! That is never OK!!
4) USE SPELL CHECK!!! Why wouldn’t you use this?! Seriously?!

3. 1) Support Your Thesis
Whatever thesis you choose, remember it must be supported throughout – especially in the body paragraphs of your essay:
EX) Thesis: Both Jay Gatsby from Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby and Willy Loman from Miller’s Death of a Salesman struggle to achieve the American Dream because they don’t understand that money doesn’t buy happiness.

4. Both Jay Gatsby from Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby and Willy Loman from Miller’s Death of a Salesman struggle to achieve the American Dream because they don’t understand that money doesn’t buy happiness.
Sample body paragraph: Jay Gatsby from The Great Gatsby worked all his life to finally earn a large amount of money in order to gain the attention of his past love, Daisy Buchanan. He believed that by becoming wealthy, buying an extravagant home and throwing huge parties, Daisy would finally see his worth, leave her husband, Tom, and love Gatsby again. Unfortunately for Gatsby, he had an unrealistic dream and Daisy didn’t want to play her part in it. No matter how much money he had, how big his house was or how many people knew him, she wasn’t able to be with him, and in the end, Gatsby was tragically killed.

5. Is This Thesis Supported?
Both Jay Gatsby from Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby and Willy Loman from Miller’s Death of a Salesman struggle to achieve the American Dream because they don’t understand that money doesn’t buy happiness.
Sample body paragraph: Jay Gatsby grew up a very poor boy, but he loved the love of his life, Daisy, very much. She loved him too, but couldn’t be with him because of her parents and because he went off to war. She married Tom instead, who was rich, which pleased her parents greatly. When Gatsby found out after the war, he was devastated and devoted his life to getting her back. Gatsby worked very hard to become somebody – he wanted Daisy to think he was special again. When they finally met up, however, she just couldn’t leave Tom (and her daughter) to continue where she and Gatsby had left off. He eventually was killed.

6. 2) Please Stop Using “You” & “Your”!
“The American Dream is something you constantly are striving for in this country.”
What am I supposed to use instead?
The American Dream is something many people strive to achieve in this country.
The American Dream is constantly being strived for in this country.

7. No More “You” & “Your”!
“Gatsby shows that if the success of your dreams lie in the hands of others, you’re doomed.”
(Word substitute & rephrase) Gatsby shows that if the success of one’s dreams lie in the hand of others, the outcome is not going to be pretty.
(Rephrase) Gatsby shows that people are doomed if others can determine the success of their dreams.

8. 3) Stop Talking to/Addressing the Reader
What is this? You write this on my paper a lot, but I don’t even know what you mean!
“In this paper I will be talking about the relationships between Gatsby & Daisy and Willy & Biff and how they both fail to achieve the American Dream.”

9. How do I write without talking to/addressing the reader??
A lot of times, just take out the “talking” part! You might need to rephrase it just a bit, too.
EX) (In this paper, I will be talking about) The relationship between Gatsby and Daisy is similar to the relationship between Willy and Biff because they both fail to achieve the American Dream.

10. 4) Seriously, Use Spell Check (and actually “check” it!).
“Gatsby lived Dasiy so moch that he deadicated his hole life to trying to win her bach.” Really?
“When Willy tried to get his job back, he ended up getting furred.”
“All Willy wanted was to be popular and well licked.”
“Many Americans try to live out their dream, only to be blinded by realty.”