1. Marking Student Papers

2. Ethical The Vortex Beep! Beep! Lyndsay came to pick me up. We were going to Kings Island. When we arrived at the church we got our stuff and got on the bus. I could’nt wait for what was waiting when I got there. I was so excited. On the way there Lyndsay and I fell asleep. I guess we were very tired because we got up at 3:30 A.M. 4 4 How does this fit?

3. When we arrived Lyndsay and I wanted to ride the Vortex first. As I stood in line I never expected it to be what it was. As I got on they strapped me in. Then it took off. I thought to myself, “I know I’m going to regret this.” The wind was blowing in my hair. I could’nt see a thing. I loved it. Then the roller coaster got faster and it got scary. I thought I was going to 4 4 Good details! 4 4 4 Ethical

4. die. As we went through the loops I kept screaming and screaming. But it was’nt helping. I’m surprized it could stop, it was going so fast. As we slowed down I started breathing again. When I got off I was so dizzy I fell over. I would never ride it again. The Vortex was very scary. It seemed like I rode it forever. 4 44 4 4 Ethical

5. That day we had lots of fun. We rode everything like the logs, the boat, and the bestie. I learned from the Vortex to never ride it again. It’s way to scary. 44 4 You do the apostrophe correctly here. Check your paper for others. You have good sentence variety with many complex sentences. Review pp. 64-67 in your grammar book or check your work from our mini-lesson on commas after introductory adverb clauses. Ethical

6. The Vortex Beep! Beep! Lyndsay came to pick me up. We were going to Kings Island. When we arrived at the church we got our stuff and got on the bus. I could’nt wait for what was waiting when I got there. I was so excited. On the way there Lyndsay and I fell asleep. I guess we were very tired because we got up at 3:30 A.M. 4 4 How does this fit? punctuation error Ethical

7. When we arrived Lyndsay and I wanted to ride the Vortex first. As I stood in line I never expected it to be what it was. As I got on they strapped me in. Then it took off. I thought to myself, “I know I’m going to regret this.” The wind was blowing in my hair. I could’nt see a thing. I loved it. Then the roller coaster got faster and it got scary. I thought I was going to die. As we went through the loops I kept screaming and screaming. 4 4 4 4 4 punctuation error Ethical

8. But it was’nt helping. I’m surprized it could stop, it was going so fast. As we slowed down I started breathing again. When I got off I was so dizzy I fell over. I would never ride it again. The Vortex was very scary. It seemed like I rode it forever. That day we had lots of fun. We rode everything like the logs, the boat, and the bestie. I learned from the Vortex to never ride it again. It’s way to scary. 4 4 4 4 4 punctuation error/spelling punctuation error cap/spelling usage You do the apostrophe correctly here. Check your paper for others. Ethical 4

9. The Vortex Beep! Beep! Lyndsay came to pick me up. We were going to Kings Island. for what was waiting when I got there. I was so excited. On the way there Lyndsay and I fell asleep. I guess we were very tired because we got up at 3:30 A.M. How does this fit? When we arrived at the church we got our stuff and got on the bus. I couldn’t wait Ethical

10. When we arrived Lyndsay and I wanted to ride the Vortex first. As I stood in line I never expected it to be what it was. As I got on they strapped me in. Then it took off. I thought to myself, “I know I’m going to regret this.” The wind was blowing in my hair. I could’nt see a thing. I loved it. Then the roller coaster got faster and it got scary. I thought I was going to Ethical

11. die. But it was’nt helping. I’m surprized it could stop, it was going so fast. never ride it again. The Vortex was very scary. It seemed like I rode it forever. As we went through the loops I kept screaming and screaming. As we slowed down I started breathing again. When I got off I was so dizzy I fell over. I would You do the apostrophe correctly here. Check your paper for others. Ethical

12. That day we had lots of fun. We rode everything like the logs, the boat, and the bestie. I learned from the Vortex to never ride it again. It’s way to scary. You’ve done a good job proofreading, but you seem to be having a problem with commas after introductory elements and apostrophes in contractions. Read aloud the sentences I’ve highlighted. See where you have a natural pause to decide where to place the commas. Check pp. 64-67 in your grammar book if you need more help. Also, check 52-54 for apostrophe rules. Ethical

13. The Vortex Beep! Beep! Lyndsay came to pick me up. We were going to Kings Island. When we arrived at the church we got our stuff and got on the bus. I could’nt wait for what was waiting when I got there. I was so excited. On the way there Lyndsay and I fell asleep. I guess we were very tired because we got up at 3:30 A.M. How does this fit? C = capitalization U = usage P = punctuation S = spelling P P

14. When we arrived Lyndsay and I wanted to ride the Vortex first. As I stood in line I never expected it to be what it was. As I got on they strapped me in. Then it took off. I thought to myself, “I know I’m going to regret this.” The wind was blowing in my hair. I could’nt see a thing. I loved it. Then the roller coaster got faster and it got scary. I thought I was going to Good details! Ethical P P P P P

15. die. As we went through the loops I kept screaming and screaming. But it was’nt helping. I’m surprized it could stop, it was going so fast. As we slowed down I started breathing again. When I got off I was so dizzy I fell over. I would never ride it again. The Vortex was very scary. It seemed like I rode it forever. Ethical c P P, S P P

16. That day we had lots of fun. We rode everything like the logs, the boat, and the bestie. I learned from the Vortex to never ride it again. It’s way to scary. Ethical C, S U

17. The Vortex Beep! Beep! Lyndsay came to pick me up. We were going to Kings Island. When we arrived at the church we got our stuff and got on the bus. I could’nt wait for what was waiting when I got there. I was so excited. On the way there Lyndsay and I fell asleep. I guess we were very tired because we got up at 3:30 A.M. ‘, Unethical

18. When we arrived Lyndsay and I wanted to ride the Vortex first. As I stood in line I never expected it to be what it was. As I got on they strapped me in. Then it took off. I thought to myself, “I know I’m going to regret this.” The wind was blowing in my hair. I could’nt see a thing. I loved it. Then the roller coaster got faster and it got scary. I thought I was going to,,,, ‘ Unethical

19. die. As we went through the loops I kept screaming and screaming. But it was’nt helping. I’m surprized it could stop, it was going so fast. As we slowed down I started breathing again. When I got off I was so dizzy I fell over. I would never ride it again. The Vortex was very scary. It seemed like I rode it forever.,,, ‘ surprised Unethical

20. That day we had lots of fun. We rode everything like the logs, the boat, and the bestie. I learned from the Vortex to never ride it again. It’s way to scary. Unethical Beastie too