1. Revising and Proofreading Business Messages By: Andrew Herman

2.  Techniques of writing  Techniques of reading  Knowing where mistakes are  Understanding punctuation marks

3. FLABBYCONCISE  At a later date  At this point in time  Afford an opportunity  Are of the opinion  The present time  Due to the fact that  During the time  Feel free to  For the period of  Later  Now  Allow  Believe, think that  Now, presently  Because  While  Please  for

5.  Long lead-ins have to much information that is useless Ex..  Wordy- this email message is being sent to all of you to let you know that new parking permits will be issued January 1.  Concise- new parking permits will be issued January 1.

6. OUTDATED EXPRESSIONMODERN PHRASES  ARE IN RECEIPT OF  AS PER YOUR REQUEST  ATTACH HERETO  ENCLOSED PLEASE FIND  PURSUANT TO YOUR REQUEST  THANK YOU IN ADVANCED  I TRUST THAT  UNDER SEPARATE COVER  HAVE RECEIVED  AT YOUR REQUEST  ATTACHED  ENCLOSED IS/ARE  AT YOUR REQUEST  THANK YOU  I THINK, I BELIEVE  SEPARATELY

7.  If these adverbs are taken away you sound more business like and more credible. Wordy- we actually didn’t give his proposal a very fair trial. Concise- we did not give his proposal a fair trial.

8.  Fatten sentence  Begin an Idea with there is  Take up space  Fillers are some what unnecessary in certain places

9.  Words to avoid  Shortens a message  Improves readability  Substituting pronouns  Replace words used to much

10.  More than is needed, desired, or required

11.  Can be seen as professional  Traced to be 14 th century old French  Meaning twittering  An outlandish, technical language of a particular profession, group, or trade

12.  Slang is compsed of language that go out of style right away  No longer appealing  Out of fashion

13.  Clichés are the old coins of language: phrases that once made a striking impression but have since been rubbed smooth by repeated handling.

14.  Gives a precise definition  In stead of saying “contact you” you say I will telephone, fax, e-mail, visit

15.  Needlessly  Converted to wordy nouns  Check page 86

16.  Highly descriptive  Dynamic  Don’t over use these  More concrete  Don’t use to many

17.  what to what for proof reading Spelling Grammar Punctuation Names and numbers Format

18.  Read carefully  Double words  Spell checker  Find errors and the tones  Read every line twice  standard proofreading marks

19.  Print a copy double spaced  Time to proofread adequately  Be prepared to find more than usual errors  Read document at least 2 times  Reduce your reading speed  Have someone to read the document outloud

20.  writingforward.com  english.udel.edu  stf.lea.org  iowapages.org……. Includes vivid verbs  www.grammarly.com  scottbush.net  thesebastards.blogspot.com