1. Narrative Essay Workshop

2. Labeling Make a key at the top of the person’s paper using your highlighters Sample: Pink=Showing Green=Telling Yellow=Connection to the experience and belief (commentary) Write your name at the top of their paper

3. Showing vs. Telling Remember from Monday/Tuesday: Telling: Abstract ideas like “nice,” “nervous,” “upset,” “scared,” “love” Telling about an example rather than telling the example like a story Showing: Paints a picture of what those abstract ideas look like Clear, concrete pictures Highlight papers for showing vs. telling now

4. “Showing” Evaluation Check for clichés “Quiet as a mouse” “bored to tears” “bright as the sun” Circle all clichés and write a different way to phrase it next to each Is it vague? Do you get a clear picture of the story the writer is telling? If no, write a note at the end of their paper about this If yes, write how they achieved this

5. Characterization Box all the pieces of the descriptive paragraphs that characterize the writer/belief/experience. Should be parts that show what the writer values/believes in. (green words) Do you get a good picture of those green words? If not, proceed to the next bullet If there is no direct/indirect portrayal; of abstract ideas write in the margins: “What is the idea being portrayed/explained?” Indicate where in the descriptive paragraphs they could add concrete details/descriptive language.

6. Thesis Check Does the writer have a thesis including three green words? Underline the three green words If thesis is missing, write that in the margins Are the green words supported by the descriptive paragraphs at the beginning of the essay? Go back through the descriptive paragraphs. Has the author CLEARLY SHOWN these green words? If not, write which green words are not shown and which ones need to be clearer.

7. Conclusion: Is it Connected to the belief? Look at the conclusion: Star in the margins areas in the conclusion that connect the descriptive paragraphs (proof) to the belief (statement/s). This is the commentary/reflection of the essay. Circle areas that don’t connect the proof to the statement/s and feel “out of place” or “off topic.”

8. Cut the Fluff Read the paper again. Cross out anything that doesn’t add value to the essay (can be extra words, phrases, clauses, or whole sentences) Cross out every example of “you” and “your” UNLESS it is part of dialogue in the descriptive paragraphs. Edit for errors in conventions (spelling, punctuation, grammar, incorrect MLA formatting, etc.)

9. Consider: At the end of your partner’s paper, write TWO things that they did really well Be specific Everyone does at least two things right in every essay Write TWO things that they need to improve Be specific AND offer a way to fix it. Always assume they made an error because they don’t know how to do it.