1. How to Improve Your Communication of Ideas in an Essay

2. What IS the Five Paragraph Essay? An introduction The first body paragraph The second body paragraph The third body paragraph A conclusion

3. PART ONE: The Five Paragraph Essay Introduction

4. THE INTRODUCTION Consists of: oThe Hook oGeneral topic sentences (2 or 3) which are more specific than the hook oA thesis statement including three supporting ideas, all written in parallel structure

5. First…. THE HOOK

6. THE INTRODUCTION THE INTRODUCTION important definitions Hook: An opening sentence or two that grabs the reader’s interest and introduces the general topic of the essay Examples:  Historical information  An anecdote  A surprising statement  A declarative statement

7. THE INTRODUCTION THE INTRODUCTION the hook HISTORICAL INFORMATION: Some topics are better understood if a brief historical review of the topic is presented to lead into the discussion of the moment:  Make sure it is factual  Keep it brief

8. Example of hook with Historical Information: If I wanted to write an informative essay on cool skateboarding tricks: In the spring of 1975, skateboarding took an evolutionary boost toward the sport that we see today. In Del Mar, California a slalom and freestyle contest was held at the Ocean Festival. That day, the Zephyr team showed the world what skateboarding could be. They rode their boards like no one had in the public eye, low and smooth, and skateboarding was taken from being a hobby to a serious, exciting sport. TAKEN FROM: http://skateboard.about.com/cs/boardscience/a/brief_history.htm

9. THE INTRODUCTION THE INTRODUCTION the hook ANECDOTE: An interesting little story  Include sights, sounds, smells and other sensory images  Keep it brief

10. Example of hook with Anecdote: If I wanted to write an informative article on auctions: Mike Cantlon remembers coming across his first auction ten years ago while cruising the back roads of Wisconsin. He parked his car and wandered into the crowd, toward the auctioneer's singsong chant and wafting smell of barbecued sandwiches. Hours later, Cantlon emerged lugging a $22 beam drill-for constructing post-and-beam barns—and a passion for auctions that has clung like a cocklebur on an old saddle blanket. "It's an addiction," says Cantlon, a financial planner and one of the growing number of auction fanatics for whom Saturdays will never be the same. TAKEN FROM: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/intros.htm

11. THE INTRODUCTION THE INTRODUCTION the hook A SUPRISING STATEMENT: There are many ways a statement can surprise a reader. Sometimes the statement is surprising because it is disgusting. Sometimes it is joyful. Sometimes it is shocking. Sometimes it is surprising because of who said it. o Take care to explain how the statement relates to your topic o Description is great, over- exaggeration is not o Make sure that the statement is relevant, not just shocking

12. Example of hook with a Surprising Statement: Example of hook with a Surprising Statement: If I wanted to inform parents of ways to protect their children and prevent accidents: A minute may be all it takes to save the life of a child—your child. Accidents kill nearly 8,000 children under age 15 each year. And for every fatality, 42 more children are admitted to hospitals for treatment. Yet such deaths and injuries can be avoided through these easy steps parents can take right now. One does not have a minute to lose. TAKEN FROM: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/intros.htm

13. THE INTRODUCTION THE INTRODUCTION the hook A DECLARITIVE STATEMENT : In this pattern, the writer simply states straight out what the topic of his paper is going to be about. It is the technique that most student writers use with only modest success most of the time, but good professional writers use it too. o Don’t give too much information o Don’t write, “In this essay…” o Don’t write, “I’m going to tell you about…”

14. Example of hook with Declarative Statement: If I wanted to explain why people should consider attending a free concert in a public park: If one attends a concert in a city park, chances are one is less interested in the performance than in the whole package, in which the music, the weather, the general gregariousness and the spirit of the moment become inseparable. TAKEN FROM: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/13/arts/music/13squa.html

15. NEXT: The GENERAL TOPIC SENTENCES after the hook

16. General Topic Sentences General Topic Sentences Why do we need them? They keep the reader focused on the point of the essay They serve as a transition between the hook and the thesis statement

17. Ways to avoid writing ‘I think that’ It could be suggested, claimed, proposed that The facts suggest, indicate, show that Smith supports the idea, notion, belief that Although Smith disagrees, most writers suggest, claim that... Analysis of the evidence suggests, undermines, differs from, coincides with

18. Ways to link paragraphs The first or last sentence in the paragraph should contain the essential reason for the inclusion of that paragraph The last sentence in a paragraph should serve as a link between paragraphs, using words like……………

19. In fact Meanwhile Firstly/ Secondly At the same time More specifically For this reason While this is so / Since this is so Even if /Even although Not only.. but also In fact Meanwhile Firstly/ Secondly At the same time More specifically For this reason While this is so / Since this is so Even if /Even although Not only.. but also Above all Nonetheless In addition Although Following this Consequently Whether Besides Later Above all Nonetheless In addition Although Following this Consequently Whether Besides Later

20. Avoid absolute words like totally of course definitely always never

21. Ways to introduce another viewpoint howeveralthough at the same time nevertheless on the other hand in spite of What needs to be noted in contrast to

22. On closer inspection, it is worth considering that... Ultimately, it must be realised that.. More importantly however... More significantly however... More to the point is the fact that... On the surface, it might seem that.......however The fundamental question is not however... On first sight it might seem plausible to argue that....however, on closer inspection To argue.... is insufficient.... it is necessary to consider... More Ways to introduce another viewpoint

24. Do Start you essay with an attention-grabbing first sentence Set out the issue clearly in the introduction Give an indication of your line of argument in the introduction Write a linking sentence at the end of your introduction to provide a smooth transition into the topic sentence of the second paragraph Don’t Answer the question in the introduction Just re-phrase the question. Just make a list of points you are going to make Use personal terms like ‘I’ or ‘My’.

25. Advice on the Introduction from Me If the question were “How important was Bismarck’s contribution to German unification?” possible approaches might include: A The unification of Germany was achieved after the victory in the Franco-Prussian War. This essay will look at Bismarck’s contribution to this achievement, and compare it with the other factors that helped him. These included economic change, growing nationalism in Germany and the wars of the 1860s. It will then reach a conclusion about how important Bismarck’s part was. Advice on the Introduction from Me If the question were “How important was Bismarck’s contribution to German unification?” possible approaches might include: A The unification of Germany was achieved after the victory in the Franco-Prussian War. This essay will look at Bismarck’s contribution to this achievement, and compare it with the other factors that helped him. These included economic change, growing nationalism in Germany and the wars of the 1860s. It will then reach a conclusion about how important Bismarck’s part was.

26. While this approach is acceptable, it often leads to an essay which lacks analytical depth and quality of thought. An approach that shows greater confidence on the part of the student, and usually leads to a more fluent argument, might be the following, which says the same things but in a way that markers are likely to find more convincing. B The unification of Germany was achieved after the victory in the Franco-Prussian War. Although it can be argued that Bismarck’s role was decisive in achieving this outcome, other factors contributed significantly to the process of unification. These included economic change, growing nationalism in Germany and the wars of the 1860s. While this approach is acceptable, it often leads to an essay which lacks analytical depth and quality of thought. An approach that shows greater confidence on the part of the student, and usually leads to a more fluent argument, might be the following, which says the same things but in a way that markers are likely to find more convincing. B The unification of Germany was achieved after the victory in the Franco-Prussian War. Although it can be argued that Bismarck’s role was decisive in achieving this outcome, other factors contributed significantly to the process of unification. These included economic change, growing nationalism in Germany and the wars of the 1860s.

27. A The unification of Germany was achieved after the victory in the Franco- Prussian War. This essay will look at Bismarck’s contribution to this achievement, and compare it with the other factors that helped him. These included economic change, growing nationalism in Germany and the wars of the 1860s. It will then reach a conclusion about how important Bismarck’s part was. (60 words) A The unification of Germany was achieved after the victory in the Franco- Prussian War. This essay will look at Bismarck’s contribution to this achievement, and compare it with the other factors that helped him. These included economic change, growing nationalism in Germany and the wars of the 1860s. It will then reach a conclusion about how important Bismarck’s part was. (60 words) B The unification of Germany was achieved after the victory in the Franco- Prussian War. Although it can be argued that Bismarck’s role was decisive in achieving this outcome, other factors contributed significantly to the process of unification. These included economic change, growing nationalism in Germany and the wars of the 1860s. (51 words) B The unification of Germany was achieved after the victory in the Franco- Prussian War. Although it can be argued that Bismarck’s role was decisive in achieving this outcome, other factors contributed significantly to the process of unification. These included economic change, growing nationalism in Germany and the wars of the 1860s. (51 words)

28. Two of the three sentences in version B are identical to those in version A, but the overall impact is much stronger, as the candidate shows awareness of the issue and the fact that several factors have to be considered. The scene is set and a likely line of argument indicated naturally, without making a point of it. Examiners find that introductions adopting this type of style tend to lead to better arguments and more coherent essays. Version B does not state the intention to reach a conclusion, but it would be most surprising if one did not appear. Two of the three sentences in version B are identical to those in version A, but the overall impact is much stronger, as the candidate shows awareness of the issue and the fact that several factors have to be considered. The scene is set and a likely line of argument indicated naturally, without making a point of it. Examiners find that introductions adopting this type of style tend to lead to better arguments and more coherent essays. Version B does not state the intention to reach a conclusion, but it would be most surprising if one did not appear.

29. Do Make sure that your essay has a logical or clear structure Check that the first sentence in each paragraph should contain the main idea. This is called the ‘topic sentence’. Follow this up with evidence, details, facts, figures, quotes. Include ‘toolkit’ words which ensure that you are arguing, debating e.g. however, although. Keep sentences simple, direct, clear and relevant. Don’t Exaggerate claims e.g. ‘This proves that..’ Quote overly long chunks from historians – this is your essay being assessed. Use slang or abbreviations. Formal English, please. Use nursery language: ‘The workers were not happy about..’ Use two sentences when one would do. Miss out parts of the essay – check back to question several times.

30. Do Answer the question Summarise the main points in your argument Check that the conclusion is based on evidence presented in the essay. Check that the conclusion is in line with the line of argument presented in the introduction. Refer to words, phrases used in the essay title e.g. if a quotation was used. Don’t Introduce new evidence in the conclusion.

31. Do Read all the questions Write on the paper Put question number in margin Underline key words /phrases to be discussed /defined. Write plan Teachers may credit this if you don’t finish. Allocate 40 minutes for the essay Check back to the question /plan during the 40 minutes. Write for 40 minutes. You should have prepared for this! Have a conclusion. Don’t Write out the question. Wastes time. Think you can busk your way through an essay without the teacher knowing what you have done. You will be found out. Invent facts, details. Again, you will be caught. Try to impress by writing long, complex sentences. This is no substitute for clear thinking and clear writing. Memorise an essay and then copy it out irrespective of the phrasing of the question.

32. Essay writing is like Gary Player’s view on Golf and Success… “The more I practice, the luckier I get”