1. How to Revise, Proofread, and Edit: The Efficient Way
1. Take Pretest (14 Questions) – Go over answers with PowerPoint presentation (i.e. for example question #3 is a revision error).
2. Give participants DSTP Stand Along 10th grade essay. Ask them to revise/edit/proofread the essay in about five-ten minutes. Then ask what was identified in the revising stage, the editing stage, and the proofreading stage, writing it up on the board or on a Word document (?). Questions to consider:
Did they complete each stage separately?
Do they understand what each stage should include?
How do they revise/edit/proofread (i.e. cross things out, add things, holistically)?
What do they currently teach their own students?
Secondary Education
Sarah Llewellyn

2. Agenda

4. Essential Questions
How can we make the revision process more student-directed?
Does skipping a step affect students’ work (especially on state testing)?
Does including each step really benefit students’ learning/writing?
How can teachers implement each time-consuming step in a no time classroom?
Thesis: Practicing all three stages of the revision process in order to effectively assess students on their writing and apply those assessments in the classroom is crucial in order to improve students’ writing and their ability to use the revision process again independently.
Writing Scores:
th graders 65.59% met or exceeded standard for writing, 34.41% below standard according to DSTP

5. What’s the Difference? Revise: rethink and change ideas
Edit: change language, improve style, word choice, and sentence structure
Proofreading: focus on overlooked errors in spelling, grammar, etc.
(Skwire & Wiener, 2006, p. 97)
While Revising, Editing and Proofreading are three separate steps and work more efficiently as such, it is important to remember that they can be swapped around and can repeat.

6. The Obstacles Steps are merged Steps are omitted No time No effort
No skills
Typically when someone revises their work, they assume that all three steps fall under the revision phase.
Often a big issue in the classroom tends to be time.
First, teachers do not have enough time to meet with students and review every content, language, and grammatical error in a paper; however, if teachers teach students about the different stages and actually tell students “Now we are going to revise, so look for content errors alone or thesis statement errors alone,” then teachers will take some of the burden off themselves.
Also, by introducing peer editing, teachers will have more time to walk around and observe the process, since many students still need some sort of feedback from another person.
But what happens when students do not recognize the errors within each step? This is where it is most important for teachers to model each step and provide the students with a list of questions to ask themselves when completing each step. The more students practice these crucial stages of the writing process both with and without the teacher, the more students will be able to revise on their own, especially when they have to on tests like the DSTP and SAT, when they are given a limited amount of time.
Although, what happens when teachers take the time to give students the resources they need to revise and students still do not put forth the effort to do so? While motivating students is a hard task to complete, especially with writing, a useful tool is the rubric. If students understand what will be focused on in their writing, they put forth more effort not only to improve their writing but also to engage themselves in each step of the revision process, knowing that the more that they amend the writing the better their score will be in the end.
Also, if the writing is authentic, students will be more likely to change a piece they are passionate about. First, give an authentic assignment to engage students in revision process.
Lastly, if students’ writing skills are hindering the revision process, then that is when it is more crucial for teachers to model and teach the writing process.

7. Revising
First draft
Content, organization, purpose – most importantly MEANING
ARGUMENT = THESIS
While revising is considered the first step in the revision process, proofreading can come first in order to fix the immediate errors that might keep the reader from understanding the content. However, revising is still considered the first step for a number of reasons.
1. Revising may change the content, so there is not much point to proofreading if things are going to change anyway.
2. The content is the most important part of writing and since our students are trying to convey a message, that will not get across if they do not revise.
3. Revising usually takes the longest and is usually repeated a few times to get the best draft, and so if it is completed first then students can make sure they have enough time to actually fix the writing over and over. If it were left until the end, big errors may be skipped.

8. Revising Questions Are your paragraphs in the right order?
Do they make sense and work together?
Are your transitions smooth and your conclusions strong?
Have you avoided sounding wishy-washy or too aggressive?
Is the voice too passive?
(Brady, 2003, p. 18).
Look at Handout # 1 pg. 3

9. Common Revising Errors
Passive/Active Voice
Sentence Fragments/Comma Splices
Awkward Sentences
Sentence Variety
Shaping Paragraphs
Transitions
Style (Tone, Voice, Audience, Purpose)
Revising Errors #1-6, 10, 15
1. Which of the following is a complete sentence?
Answer: b. Jim ate the sandwich.
Revision Error – incomplete/run-on sentences
2. Which of the following sentences is correctly punctuated?
Answer: c. Over coffee and toast, Kelly told me about her new job.
Revision Error: incomplete/run-on sentences
3. Which of the following sentences correctly uses a conjunction?
Answer: a. I cannot play in the game until I practice more.
4. Which of the underlined words or phrases in the following sentence could be deleted without changing the meaning?
Various different companies offer incentive plans to their employees.
Answer: a. different
Revision Error: Awkward Sentences
5. Determine whether the italicized phrase in the following sentence is a participial phrase, a gerund phrase, an infinitive phrase, or an appositive phrase.
Having missed the bus, Allen knew he would be late for work.
Answer: a. participial
6. The following sentence can be revised into one better sentence. Choose the sentence that is the best revision.
The bicycle tire is flat. The bicycle tire is on the bike.
Answer: d. The bicycle tire on the bike is flat.
Revision Error: Sentence Variety
10. Which of the following sentences does NOT use passive voice?
Answer: c. She won the Best Player Award last winter.
Revising Error: Active/Passive Voice
15. Which of the following sentences does NOT use informal language?
Answer: c. The letter arrived in the morning, and he opened it immediately.
Revising Error: Writing Style

10. First Step
Focus on the content of your essay first, worry about simple errors later
Revise Introduction and Conclusion—is the paper coherent? (Does it flow?)
Next, revisit the body—either add new info or make more concise

11. Editing First/Second draft Language, word choice, transitions
Can focus on grammar/conventions – bigger ideas
Handout #1 pg. 3

12. Common Editing Errors Subject/Verb Agreement Noun/Pronoun Agreement
Word Choice
Modifiers
Adjectives
Adverbs
Editing Errors #7, 9, 11-12
7. Identify the correct verb for the blank in the following sentence.
Neither the bus driver nor the passengers ________ the new route.
Answer: a. likes
Editing Error: Subject/Verb Agreement
9. Identify the correct word for the blank in the following sentence.
My brother and ____ used to play ping-pong together every day.
Answer: a. I
Editing Error: Noun/Pronoun Agreement
11. Identify the correct pronoun for the blank in the following sentence.
I often think of Andrea and _______.
Answer: b. her
12. Identify the correct word for the blank in the following sentence.
The boy told his teacher that he did not perform ______ in the concert.
Answer: b. well
Editing Error: Modifiers

13. Second Step After first draft is rewritten, look at editing in phases
Conciseness
Word Choice
Sentence Structure

14. Proofreading First/second/third draft Grammar Spelling Punctuation
Handout #1 pg. 3

15. Common Proofreading Errors
Capitalization
First Words
Proper Nouns/Adjectives
Spelling
Homophones
Doubling Consonants
Silent Vowels
ie vs. ei
Punctuation
Semi-Colons/Colons
Apostrophes
Quotation Marks
Hyphens/Dashes
Ellipses
Commas
End Marks
Proofreading Error #8, 13-14
8. Which of the following sentences is punctuated correctly?
Answer: a. My appt. with Dr, Nayel is at 5:15 P.M.
Proofreading Error: Punctuation
13. Identify the sentence that uses capitalization correctly.
Answer: a. The whole family appreciated the letter Senator Clinton sent to Uncle Jeff.
Proofreading Error: Capitalization
14. Identify the correct words for the blank in the following sentence. I would like to have the party _____ more _____ at a restaurant.
Answer: c. here, than
Proofreading Error: Spelling (Homophones)
Handout #1 pg. 6

16. Third Step Not Last Step! Reread paper for errors
proofread after you revised the content but before you write the final draft—check for grammar and spelling errors
proofread a second time to check for errors you may have missed

17. Tips
Read slowly
Do not try to revise, proofread, and edit at the same time
Be familiar with errors you typically make
Remove wrong words or extra letters
Do not trust the spell check- it is man-made
Review Handout #1 pgs. 4-5

18. Delaware Department of Education
Useful Websites
College Board
Delaware Department of Education
Give students another essay, this time walking them through the modeling process and give rubrics.
Modeling Process – Handout #1 pg. 7-9 (Revise on the computer after participants have revised (pg. 8) for about 5 minutes). Use second draft to edit and proofread (pg. 9)
Rubrics – Handout #2 pg (DSTP and SAT) explain break down of rubrics

19. How to Get Feedback Read your work aloud twice.
Don’t defend your work.
Take notes on what others tell you.
Ask questions to clarify what others say.
Thank people for their comments.
Never apologize for the piece you’re going to read.
(Strong, 2006, p. 119)
The process of Peer Editing is very similar to the tuning protocol in UbD strategy to judge assessments or student work. In this activity everyone is expected to look at the work and ask warm and cool questions based on the work. If students come up with questions to ask, or take notes as the author is reading, then they might be less likely to simply pull out comma mistakes or sentence fragments. This strategy is very helpful in the revising stage, which most students skip because they are unsure of what to change. Using peer editing will help students get a new perspective on their work from various readers and not just the teacher.
To set up this activity, it is best to use small groups.

20. How to Give Feedback Listen for the overall effect in the 1st reading.
Make notes/comments during the 2nd reading.
Tell what you liked best about the writing.
Identify a place in the writing that may need work.
Comment on content and organization first, then mechanics.
Be specific by pointing to places on the paper.
(Strong, 2006, p. 120)

21. Fishbowl Observation Positive Roles Cheerleader Questioner Helper
Encourager
Leader
(Strong, 2006, p )
Negative Roles
Criticizer
Dominator
Mushmouth
Clown
Detailer
Sleeper
According to Strong, it is best to model this peer review process by using the Fishbowl Observation Method.
First, it is best to pick a group of “example” students who will be given their tasks before class and will model the method for the other students. For the first time using the Fishbowl, it may be best to use a sample essay from the DSTP or SAT. Each student in the group will have a role to play. The students who are on the outside may simply watch the process or take notes to give feedback later. Allow the model group to continue for about 5-10 minutes (more or less depending on time) and then debrief with students. What did they like or dislike about the process? About the roles?
The Roles:
Reader – simply reads the text
Cheerleader – points to good points in the text
Questioner – asks thoughtful open ended questions
Helper – offers specific useful tips for revision
Encourager – expresses confidence that the writing is worth revising
Leader – keeps group on task
Criticizer – names all the weak parts
Dominator – monopolizes the feedback
Mushmouth – rambles on mostly incoherently
Clown – fools around deflecting attention from response
Detailer – focuses on nitpicky points not ideas
Sleeper – sleeps through process

22. Peer Review ReadWriteThink Peer Editing Tutorial
ReadWriteThink Peer Editing Worksheet
Walk participants through tutorial quickly