1. CONFLICT

2. Definition of Conflict
Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, and interference from the other party in achieving those goals.

3. Eastern Civilization

4. “It is better to be feared than loved.”
Western Civilization
Machiavellian
“It is better to be feared than loved.”

5. Conflict Styles Nonassertive behavior (Avoidance)
Indirect Communication (The Hint)
Passive Aggression (Crazymaking)
Direct Aggression (A Time to Kill)
Assertion Without Aggression (The Clear Message Format)

6. Clear Message Format Behavior Interpretation Feeling Consequence
Intention

7. Behavior Describe event without interpretation
Describe problem without emotive language
Avoid judgmental language
Objective tone
WHAT HAPPENED?

8. Interpretation “I thought” Your interpretation Subjective tone
HOW YOU SEE IT

9. Feeling “I felt” Adjectives that accurately describe your feelings.
Subjective
Own your feelings

10. Consequence What happens to you?
What happens to the person you are addressing?
What happens to others?
What happens to the circumstances?
Objective tone

11. Intention Where you stand on the issue Requests of others
Description of how you are going to act in the future

12. Win-Win Problem Solving
A Systematic Approach

13. Identify the problem Identify YOUR problem and unmet needs
The problem is yours; what are the unmet needs that make you feel the way you do?

14. Make a Date to Meet

15. Describe Your Problem and Needs

16. Partner Checks Back
Make sure you are understood
FEEDBACK

17. Solicit Partner’s Needs
Check your understanding
FEEDBACK

18. Negotiate a Solution Generate a number of solutions Evaluate them
Decide on the best

19. Implement and check back
Follow up
Implement and check back