1. Jude Foster PAVSA STANDING WITH LGBTQ FAMILIES

2.  Gay- A man that is emotionally and sexually attracted to other men. May also be used to identify sexual orientation.  Lesbian- A woman that is emotionally and sexually attracted to other women.  Bisexual- A person that is emotionally and sexually attracted to both men and women- not necessarily at the same time. GENDER IDENTITY AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION 101

3.  Questioning- A person that is exploring their sexual orientation and has not come to a definitive conclusion of what their identity entails.  Queer- An umbrella term used for anything not heterosexual. Historically has been considered a negative term, however the term has been recently reclaimed by many LGBT people as a preferred self- identifier. Some individuals are offended by this term. GENDER IDENTITY AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION 101

4.  Two-Spirit- Refers to the commonly shared notion among many Native American tribes, that some individuals naturally posses both the male and female spirit.  Homosexual- A term originally used by the medical community to “diagnose” people who were not heterosexual. Considered a negative term to some people who prefer “gay”, “lesbian” or “queer”. GENDER IDENTITY AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION 101

5.  Gender Expression/Identity- Refers to the way in which people externally communicate their internal personal sense of gender to others through behavior and appearance.  Trans/Transgender- A broad umbrella term for people who have a gender identity that does not match their biological or assigned sex. GENDER IDENTITY AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION 101

6.  Intersex- People who are born with full or partial male and female sex organs, or with underdeveloped or “ambiguous” sex organs. Use this term rather than “hermaphrodite”.  Transexual (MTF/FTM)- An individual who uses hormonal and/or physical alterations to change their body so that sex and gender identity are congruent. This may or may not go as far as Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS). GENDER IDENTITY AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION 101

7.  Gender Queer- People that identify their gender identity outside of the gender binary system of male and female. GENDER IDENTITY AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION 101

8. Terms are Necessary  Finding out what terms a person uses and then using their language is a primary way of conveying respect and openness.  To be culturally competent, you need to find out what terms a person uses to refer to themselves and then reflect those terms back to them. The use of a client’s terms tells them that you are listening closely and respect their right to self-define. Terms are Useless  Terms tell you almost none of what you need to know to provide appropriate services or have respectful, meaningful interactions.  There are two primary reasons why terms are meaningless:  There has never been consensus on any LGBTQ term.  What you really need to know about people in order to serve them appropriately isn’t going to come from an identity term, but from asking specific questions related to their needs, concerns, experiences. TERMS PARADOX

9.  If you don’t know the correct pronoun, ask!  He/his, she/her, ze/hir, they/them/their  Reflect your client’s language  Refer to them using the same name and pronouns they use for themselves  If you use the wrong pronoun, take responsibility, apologize and move on A FEW WORDS ABOUT PRONOUNS…

10.  Ask broad, non-leading, open ended questions and use non-gendered language  Be an ally  If you hear somebody using the wrong pronoun, stick up for your client and politely inform them of their mistake A FEW WORDS ABOUT PRONOUNS…

11.  Passing: how we are seen by others; in this context, being perceived as female, male, another gender, heterosexual, gay, lesbian etc.  Disclosure: some people choose to come out as trans, bisexual, lesbian, gay etc., while others prefer to keep that information private COMING OUT

12.  Safety  Support  Confidentiality  To be believed  Reassurance  Information and Referrals  Options/Choices WHAT DO FAMILIES OF VICTIMS/SURVIVORS NEED?

13.  Safety  Support  Confidentiality  To be believed  Reassurance  Information and Referrals  Options/Choices WHAT DO LGBTQ FAMILIES OF VICTIMS/SURVIVORS NEED?

14.  Fear of a transphobic/heterosexist response  Not wanting to out themselves  Concern that prejudices and stereotypes will be reinforced BARRIERS TO WORKING WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT

15.  Fear of transphobic/heterosexist response  Lack of training for health care workers on queer and transgender medical needs  Body and/or gender dysphoria BARRIERS TO MEDICAL SERVICES

16.  Fear of transphobic/heterosexist response  Apprehension that gender identity and/or sexual orientation will become the focus and not the sexual abuse  Confidentiality in smaller communities BARRIERS TO ADVOCACY AND COUNSELING SERVICES

17.  Ask yourself, “Why am I asking this question?” and assess whether or not the information has relevance to your client’s situation  Don’t lose sight of your role as a professional by asking questions that should be asked in an educational setting rather than in a counseling room/emergency department/law enforcement agency LISTEN, BELIEVE AND ASK RELEVANT QUESTIONS

18. HOW CAN WE BE MORE APPROACHABLE?  Recognize that our own gender identity and socialization impacts our worldview and our work with victims/survivors  Acknowledge the transphobia and heterosexism experienced by LGBTQ people and how it impacts their overall well-being  Awareness of the impact of the pressure to be gender-conforming

19.  Educate yourself about LGBTQ communities  Challenge yourself about your own biases and prejudices  Hold other people accountable  Initiate discussions around LGBTQ issues- don’t always wait for queer-identified people to do this BE A GOOD BYSTANDER

20. CLEAN YOUR OWN HOUSE FIRST!  Make your space welcoming and affirming for all people  Are LGBTQ people represented?  Who are your community partners?

21. CONVERSATIONS TO HAVE AT YOUR AGENCY  Can clients request a LGBTQ-competent counselor, if they choose?  Gender-segregated groups/programs?  Do your advocates/counselors reflect the communities you serve? 21

22. PAPERWORK  Think outside of the box  Let clients select their own gender identity  Ask if clients identify as transgender  Use inclusive language on all forms  Intakes  Demographics  Client Bill of Rights 22

23. TRAIN STAFF  Learn about trans and queer issues before LGBTQ clients come to your office/agency  Don’t expect LGBTQ clients to educate you or your staff  Set expectations that all clients will be treated respectfully  ALWAYS listen to your clients

24. SYSTEMS ADVOCACY  Legal/Law Enforcement Advocacy  Paperwork  Birth/Previous name issues  Pronouns and preferred name  Medical Advocacy  Evidentiary exams  Screening/Medical History

25. REFERRALS  The LGBTQ community’s complex relationship with mental health professionals makes it complicated to refer to therapists and counselors.  Ask LGBTQ organizations for referrals to sensitive providers, and build relationships with providers. 25

26. Contact Me! foster@pavsa.org 218.726.1442 ext. 12 QUESTIONS?

27.  Munson, M. (2012) Terms Paradox. Retrieved June 25, 2015 from http://forge-forward.org/wp-content/docs/FAQ-06- 2012-terms-paradox.pdf SOURCES