1. Welcome Workshop

7. Some Churches do ave em! Get grouchy greeters. Or you could just get rid of greeters altogether of course, but if you're trying to make guests feel unwelcome, it is actually more effective to have grouchy greeters. Train them to carry on conversations with other greeters, and sort of just grunt at people they don't recognize.

9. Back of Church Sunday! Make finding a seat really hard. All members can participate in this one. Just "save" all the seats at the back of the room or on the aisles. If you can make a guest come to the front of the church or crawl over several people to find a seat, you'll almost guarantee they'll feel unwelcome.

11. Self-Service! No greeters Get people to collect a notice sheet and find the right service book.

13. Ineffably sublime. Crown Him the Lord of years, the Potentate of time, Creator of the rolling spheres, ineffably sublime. incapable of being expressed or described in words; inexpressible magnificent, superb, august, grand, gorgeous,

14. Fandabbydosey Expression of delight or approval popularised by the character "Jimmy Cranky" on British children's television during the 1980's.

15. Pews from the Ark One Visitor was asked “was your pew comfortable?” Long wooden bench pews with fitted kneelers of the hardest variety possible. The benches looked like they needed a new lease on life but were not uncomfortable until we knelt.

17. Welcome What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost? Everyone had left within a few minutes so there was little point in waiting around apart from to light votive candles. No one approached me or said anything, but I had a quick few words with the priest outside before heading home.

18. What is Christian Welcome? “Christian Welcome is not just about being nice to visitors, it is about incorporating new people into the Body of Christ”

19. A Welcoming Church Member “consider others better than yourselves” Philippians 2:3

20. Workshop Before the service During the service After the service After Sunday What does welcome look like?