1. SHERRI YBARRA, SUPERINTENDENT OF PUBLIC INSTRUCTION SUPPORTING SCHOOLS AND STUDENTS TO ACHIEVE

2. Effective Communication SUPPORTING SCHOOLS AND STUDENTS TO ACHIEVE SHERRI YBARRA, SUPERINTENDENT OF PUBLIC INSTRUCTION Dr. Melanie Reese Dispute Resolution Coordinator Phone: (208) 332-6914 Email: mreese@sde.idaho.gov

3. Jack and Jill live together. They have a system for fetching water after that nasty hill incident several years ago. Jack’s chore is to take the pails to the top of the hill once they’ve been used (as he is very good at balancing empty pails) and leave them there for Jill to bring back down with the water (as she is much more surefooted, and can bring down two pails of water at a time without falling). However, it has been several days, and the empty pails are piling up in the apartment. Jill went to the hill today and alas, no pails were there for her to fetch the water. She is now irritated with Jack.

4. ATTRIBUTIONS (Motives) Personality A Situation

5. ATTRIBUTIONS Personality or Character A Situation Humans tend to assign situational reasons (excuses) to themselves when they make a mistake, and “character flaws” to others when they disappoint us.

6. What are some common attributions school personnel place on parents? How can making personality attributions affect the communication with parents who are upset? What are some common attributions parents place on district personnel?

7. The on attributions... Attributions are always present. The attributions we make are within our control. How we communicate with others will be influenced by our attributions. We can influence others’ attributions.

8. Have you ever have a job you really didn’t like going to? Beyond the job itself, what did the people do that made it unpleasant? Have you ever have a job you really loved going to? Beyond the job itself, what did the people do that made it pleasant?

9. Communication Climates Defined: How we perceive and respond to others based on the level we feel valued by the other

10. Braden’s first day of school (age 5). Me, on any given morning.

11. What I felt like I deserved that day.

12. Behaviors that lead to Defensive Climates  Evaluation:judging, name calling, critiquing  Control:power plays, forced “choice”  Strategy:manipulation, withholding  Neutrality:indifference, postponement  Superiority:pulling rank, pointing out flaws  Certainty:already knowing and not including other

13. Behaviors that lead to Supportive Climates Instead of: Evaluation Control Strategy Neutrality Superiority Certainty Try… Description observations and effects Problem solving put problem in focus Spontaneity include others in process Empathy validate, show care Equality share information, avoid power imbalances Provisionalism communicate openness and consideration

15. (Example) “You need to focus and not go off.” Defensive Behavior ____________; Replace with Supportive Behavior ___________ “I’m concerned we’ll run out of time and won’t resolve what we need to.” Your Turn: 1. Not returning phone calls for over a week. Defensive Behavior ____________; Replace with Supportive Behavior ____________ New option: 2. “Once we present this information, we’ll give you two minutes to respond.” Defensive Behavior ____________; Replace with Supportive Behavior ____________ New option: 3. “Your emotions are getting the best of you. Calm down.” Defensive Behavior ____________; Replace with Supportive Behavior ____________ New option: 4. “I’ve gone to school for a lot of years to become an expert. You need to just listen.” Defensive Behavior ____________; Replace with Supportive Behavior ____________ New option: PRACTICE: Change defensive behaviors to supportive behaviors.

16. Dealing with Criticism My 85 year old dad Nameless brawny guy who would hold that big fish. Dad’s house My graduate school

17. Dealing with Criticism (a skill set for surviving attack) When attacked: 1. Ask for more information 2. If you don’t get enough, guess 3. Explore how the critic was affected 4. Agree with the critic: a. In total b. In part c. In principle 5. Problem-solve overcoming the effect

18. You’ve just been told by a parent that “You don’t care about these kids, just about how much you can bill.” A parent claims the whole IEP process is a sham and you’re going to do what you want anyway, so don’t expect her to come. Practice

19. “We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, while others bright, some have weird names, but they all have learned to live together in the same box.” - Robert Fulghum A final thought…

20. SHERRI YBARRA, SUPERINTENDENT OF PUBLIC INSTRUCTION SUPPORTING SCHOOLS AND STUDENTS TO ACHIEVE Division of Special Education Dr. Charlie Silva, Director Phone: (208) 332-6806 Email: csilva@sde.idaho.gov Dispute Resolution Office Dr. Melanie Reese, DR Coordinator Lily Robb, DR Program Specialist Phone: (208) 332-6912 Email: mreese@sde.idaho.gov or lrobb@sde.idaho.gov