1. Stephanie Beniek Malaurie Heidenescher Albert Crichton Julie DixJack (Curtis) Greene II Ashlin Idemoto Leilani Akana Christian (David) Lam ProjectionCart Valerie LaneBryan Jason Maderas Justin Maunupau Carina Pelletier Kamele Manoa Joshua Nishimoto Cody Okada- Krueger Anissa Pasion Teachers’ Hitsa PhamCourtney Piche Charlette Joy Ragudos Taliau (King) Tavela- Afalava Renay Dayton- Gerona Desk Seating Chart (Period 2)

2. SEATING CHART (Period 5) Mahlon Kapule III Heather Corpuz Adam DenisPreston Matteo Donato Leonard Firme Jr. Kristen Joy Foronda Petrice GotoPualani Howard Lazarus Jove ProjectionCart Courtney Ledesma Arianna LeeJohnathan Lonso Jovy Manzanares Michael OMeally Emily MosesDerrick Ogawa- Staples Joshua Pangayan Shonnel Patao- Galacgac Marcus Sabado Teachers’ Jonnel Santos Keani Sayles Miurina Soyon Ahley Ferreira Desk

3. Opening: Bell Work Four Corners Game How to play: Read the question Decide on an answer Move to the corner that you think is the answer

4. Question 1 Correct Answer: A Explanation: This is an example of a type of error known as comma splice. You cannot use a comma to link two complete sentences: use a semicolon.

5. Question 2 Correct Answer: D Explanation: Misplaced modifier. Including seems to refer to job when it should refer to steps.

6. Question 3 Correct Answer: C Explanation: After a present tense in the if clause, we need a future tense in the main clause. Would should be changed to will.

7. Question 4 Correct Answer: B Explanation: Change their to its because the union is a singular noun.

8. Question 5 Correct Answer: C Explanation: Change have to has because the number requires a singular verb.

9. Question 6 Correct Answer: A Explanation: Use fewer not less for countable items.

10. Question 7 Correct Answer: E Explanation: No Error

11. Question 8 Correct Answer: A Explanation: This is an example of a dangling modifier. It implies that coconuts were shipwrecked. To correct the sentence you could change Shipwrecked to “When he was shipwrecked.”

12. Question 9 Correct Answer: B Explanation: But is inappropriate here; change to and.

13. Question 10 Correct Answer: E Explanation: No Error

14. Question 11 Correct Answer: D Explanation: No need for a past perfect tense here: use went.

15. Question 12 Correct Answer: D Explanation: The word people is redundant.

16. Question 13 Correct Answer: C Explanation: You cannot say very unique. [Just as you cannot say more superior.]

17. Question 14 Correct Answer: A Explanation: Kind is singular so we should use this or that, but not these or those.

18. Question 15 Correct Answer: D Explanation: The words “do the same” are ambiguous. Change to “take early retirement” or something similar.

19. Agenda September 2, 2010 Objective: We will be able to…  Edit our personal narratives Opening: Bell Work  SAT prep questions Editing Activity Closing: Exit Pass  Explain the changes you have made or will make to your 3rd draft.

20. Editing Activity Note: You will need your personal narrative 3rd draft and a colored pen other than black or blue

21. Group 1Group 2Group 3Group 4Group 5Group 6 KingCharletteJustinHitsaCodyJulie AshlinDavidMalaurieMeleAnissaBryan ValerieCarinaRenayCourtneyCurtisLeilani JoshuaStephanieAlbert Directions: Pass your personal narrative to the left.

22. Directions: Pass your personal narrative to the left. Group 1Group 2Group 3Group 4Group 5Group 6 Emily JonnelShonellPetriceLeonardArianna MarcusMahlonMiurinaAdamCourtneyJoshua DerrickMichaelKristenPrestonLanceHeather AshleyPuaJohnJovyKeani

23. Spelling Search for errors in spelling

24. Capitalization Search for errors in capitalization Rule: Capitalize the first word of a quoted sentence. Examples: He said, "Treat her as you would your own daughter.” "Look out!" she screamed. "You almost ran into my child."

25. Punctuation Search for errors in punctuation “Quotation Marks” Rule: Periods and commas always go inside quotation marks, even inside single quotes. Examples: The sign changed from "Walk," to "Don't Walk," to "Walk" again within 30 seconds. She said, "Hurry up." She said, "He said, 'Hurry up.'"

26. Punctuation Search for errors in punctuation Commas, Rule: Use a comma to separate two adjectives when the word and can be inserted between them. Examples: He is a strong, healthy man. We stayed at an expensive summer resort. You would not say expensive and summer resort, so no comma.

27. Punctuation A comma splice is an error caused by joining two strong clauses with only a comma instead of separating the clauses with a conjunction, a semicolon, or a period. A run-on sentence, which is incorrect, is created by joining two strong clauses without any punctuation. Examples: Time flies when we are having fun, we are always having fun. (comma splice) Time flies when we are having fun we are always having fun. (run-on senstence) Correct: Time flies when we are having fun; we are always having fun. Time flies when we are having fun, and we are always having fun. Time flies when we are having fun. We are always having fun.

28. Drafting Based on what you’ve learned today, make changes to your 3rd draft. Note: use a different colored pen.

29. Closing: Exit Pass  Explain the changes you have made and/or will make to your 3rd draft. HW (write in your planner): Bring a hard copy of your personal narrative final draft to class on Tuesday, Sept. 7, 2010.  typed, double-spaced, size 12 Times New Roman font Also, draw a picture that will go with your personal narrative final draft. This is also due on Tuesday, Sept. 7, 2010 Be prepared to do a read aloud of your personal narrative. This will count as an oral presentation grade.