1. P REPARED B Y : C HANDA M C G HEE, P H.D. C EDAR H ILL I NDEPENDENT S CHOOL D ISTRICT D IRECTOR OF S TUDENT S UPPORT AND C OMMUNITY S ERVICES WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT BULLYING? Presented by Angel Goady, M.Ed., LPC-intern Highlands Elementary Counselor

2. Bullying Is... Intimidating or subjecting a person to hostility or ill treatment Involves actions which cause another person to feel afraid, humiliated, embarrassed, threatened or shamed.  Imbalance of Power: people who bully use their power to control or harm and the people being bullied may have a hard time defending themselves  Intent to Cause Harm: actions done by accident are not bullying; the person bullying has a goal to cause harm  Repetition: incidents of bullying happen to the same the person over and over by the same person or group

3. Types of Bullying...  Verbal (Emotional / Social)-  Verbal (Emotional / Social)- name-calling, teasing, spreading rumors, leaving people out on purpose, breaking up friendships, ignoring or isolating, gossip, public humiliation Verbal (Emotional / Social)- Verbal (Emotional / Social)-  Physical –  Physical – hitting, punching, shoving, blocking someone’s path, physical restraint, kicking Physical – Physical –  Sexual –  Sexual – kicking unwanted sexual touching, kissing, slapping in private places Sexual – Sexual –  Cyberbullying –  Cyberbullying – using the Internet, mobile phones or other digital technologies to harm others Cyberbullying – Cyberbullying –  Property –  Property – hiding belongings, theft, arson, extortion, vandalism or destruction Property – Property –

4. True or False? “Bullying isn’t serious, it’s just a matter of kids being kids.” FALSE  Bullying can be extremely serious and affect the mental well- being, academics and physical health of children who are targeted. Children who are bullied are more likely than other children to have lower self-esteem and higher rates of depression, loneliness, anxiety and suicidal thoughts – even for years to come, if not addressed.

5. True or False? “Kids should just stand up for themselves and fight back” FALSE  While there are some times when people can be forced to defend themselves, hitting back can make the bullying worse and increase the risk for serious physical harm – students should be taught to feel more assertive in these situations and respond in ways that reinforce their confidence and productive responses in school

6. True or False? “Bullying is a school problem, the teachers should handle it.” FALSE  Bullying is a broader social problem that often happens outside of schools. It can happen on the street, at the mall, the park or local pool or in the workplace.

7. True or False? “Most bullying is physical” FALSE  Physical bullying may be what first comes to mind. However, the most common form of bullying for both girls and boys is verbal. It is also common for youth to bully each other through social isolation.

8. True or False? “Bullying typically happens when no one is looking” FALSE Frequently other students, and sometimes adults, are around when bullying occurs. Much of bullying is psychological and can be “sneaked in” and frequently witnesses are also afraid to stand up against a bully

9. True or False?  “If a student tells someone, it will just make the bullying worse.” FALSE  Research shows that bullying will stop when adults in authority and peers get involved.

10. True or False? “I will know right away if my child is being bullied or is a bully” POSSIBLY FALSE  Research shows that every 7 minutes a child is bullied; 25% of children report having been bullied; 1 of 5 kids admit to having done some bullying... Kids do not always tell—they are ashamed, afraid, and trying to handle things themselves

11. How can I know if my child might be a victim of bullying? Comes home with damaged or missing clothing or other belongings Reports losing items such as books, electronics, clothing, or jewelry Has unexplained injuries Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or feeling sick Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams Has changes in eating habits Hurts themselves Are very hungry after school from not eating their lunch Runs away from home  Loses interest in visiting or talking with friends  Is afraid of going to school or other activities with peers  Appears sad, moody, angry, anxious or depressed when they come home  Talks about suicide  Feels helpless  Often feels like they are not good enough  Blames themselves for their problems  Suddenly has fewer friends  Avoids certain places  Acts differently than usual

12. How can I know if my child is bullying others?  Becomes violent with others; physical or verbal fights with others (aggressive with friends)  Easily angered  Gets sent to the principal’s office or detention a lot  Has extra money or new belongings that cannot be explained  Is quick to blame others and will not accept responsibility for their actions  Has friends who bully others  Needs to win or be best at everything (regular bragging)  Shows a lack of empathy  Frequent name calling  Often rude, sarcastic and disrespectful to adults (defiant or hostile attitude)  Encourages exclusion of individuals  Enjoys putting others down

13. What if my child is being bullied? Don’t...  Ignore your child’s plea for help  Don’t confront the parents or the other child directly – involve an objective third party (i.e., school, church, etc.)  Avoid bringing your child and the bully together to elicit an apology.. Do...  Find out as much as you can about who, what, when, where  Help your child develop verbal defenses against bullies (things to say in the situation)  Help your child know his/her rights and be assertive and confident  Teach your child to value his/her unique qualities  Let your child know it’s OK to tell on a bully and ask for help.  Encourage healthy friendships so your child learns how to be a good friend and seek out good friends– make connections

14. What can parents do to prevent bullying and victim behavior?  Teach our kids to stand up for themselves and for others  Teach our kids to value themselves (differences, weaknesses, etc.)  Teach our students to accept differences in themselves and others  Teach our children (and model) appropriate conflict resolution  Teach our children to handle disappointment (which means they can’t have everything they want)  Set clear boundaries around how our children treat other people  Provide opportunities for our children to see differences in other people (visit those who are sick, teach diversity, talk to disabled children/ people)  Build Developmental Assets© in our children

15. What if it’s happening at school? Let the teacher know immediately. Your child spends most of their day with their classroom teacher so he/she can help address the problem. Most times, the problems that students have can be corrected/addressed in the regular classroom setting. After meeting with teacher, if the problem is still not resolved, speak with an administrator

16. What is CHISD doing?  Research suggests that the best way to deal with bullying is through comprehensive programs that focus on changing the climate of a school.  This helps to create a caring atmosphere where bullying is frowned upon.  CHISD prohibits bullying for all students (see Student Code of Conduct)  Each class receives guidance lessons from the school counselors. During these lessons, anti-victimization, bullying, bystander dilemmas and empathy are covered.  All campus staff are trained yearly in Bully Prevention and Intervention procedures  Individual campuses have programs that focus on character and responsibility, violence and/or bully prevention (RTime, Steps to Respect)– which include weekly or monthly lessons in classrooms  Students are taught to report bullying at their campuses when they experience or witness it.

17. What does CHISD teach about bullying? Be Greater Than Bullying Be more than a bystander…Be an Upstander Stand up for yourself Don’t believe what a bully says about you Remove yourself from the situation Stay with friends Tell an adult

18. CHISD Intervention Efforts  All CHISD staff trained to intervene “on the spot” when bullying is witnessed  Staff educated on forms of bullying, monitoring student behavior in classrooms and in hallways, bathrooms, etc.  Report procedures publicized and investigations begun on all reports within 10 days.  Disciplinary action and intervention action implemented for students exhibiting bullying behavior  Individual counseling can be done with your child where role- playing and other means can help the bullied student know what to do when confronted by a bully.

19. Online Resources  http://www.stopbullying.gov  http://www.stopbullying.gov information from government agencies for parents, educators, kids http://www.stopbullying.gov  http://www.pta.org/bullying  http://www.pta.org/bullying Resources from National PTA to help stop bullying, teasing, & taunting http://www.pta.org/bullying  http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies  http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies information for kids about bullies http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies  http://www.pacer.org/bullying  http://www.pacer.org/bullying national organization to prevent bullying http://www.pacer.org/bullying  www.kidpower.org  www.kidpower.org information for kids and parents www.kidpower.org