1. Death and Dying
Introduction

2. FEAR!
Fear of the UNKNOWN
Fear of the unknown toilet seat!

3. Fear of the Unknown Fear creates greater anxiety
Not facing reality will only make it worse in the long run.
Fear is of the unknown
Unknown  KNOWN = eliminate anxiety
Examples:
Fear of the dark
Fear of the “unknown toilet seat”

4. Fears associated with death:
1. Loss of life
Leaving loved ones
Unfinished business
Giving up our possessions
2. Process of dying
Losing control
Indignity
Pain or Discomfort
3. Death itself -- Afterlife
Unknown
Possible punishment
Possible annihilation
4. The Dead
Ghosts
Evil spirits

5. What can dealing with death and dying teach us?
To make sense out of life – How would life be different without death?
Prepare (wills, burial plots, etc.) REMEMBER: Preparing won’t make it happen!
Help us deal with “little deaths” that occur throughout life. If we can face death we can face anything. (“I’ll get through this.”)
Help us to live life to the fullest!

6. Why North Americans can more easily deny death:
No war on our own soil.
No public executions.
Longer life-span. (makes us further removed from death).
Removed from mainstream living (nursing homes, hospitals, etc.)
Society glorifies youth

7. Denying death: The use of Euphemisms
Euphemism = substitution of a mild or roundabout word or expression for another felt to be too blunt, distasteful, or painful.
Cryonics Movement – One of the greatest examples of the denial of death in our modern society

9. Grief
Grief is the intense emotion that floods life when a person’s inner security system is shattered by an acute loss, usually associated with the death of someone important in their life.”
Grollman

10. “Grief Work”
Grief Work is necessary because part of us has been invested in another – and we must retrieve that part of us that was lost.
Grief Work involves:
Facing
Breaking
Replacing
You are not replacing the PERSON, just the activities and the human (earthly) interaction.

11. Preparing for Grief Education (Example: this course!)
Philosophy of Life
Must be broad enough to include a “philosophy of death.”
Build sound community practice\
Wakes, funerals, etc.

12. Emotions Associated with Grief
Fear – of being alone
Guilt
a. Neurotic Guilt - Guilt feelings out of proportion to the cause
b. Existential Guilt – Sense of human inadequacy in the face of death (can lead to self-pity)
Anger
a. Directed Outward (anger at others)
b. Directed Inward (depression – angry at self)
At God
At the person
Emptiness
Frustration & Helplessness
WHO DO WE GRIEVE FOR? OURSELVES!

13. “Abnormal Grief”
Experiencing these mood changes and emotions (anger, fear, guilt, etc.) after approximately one month.
Widows and widowers may take longer

14. Discussion Questions
3. Which fear from the list of “fears associated with death” frighten you the most? Why?
4. How well does your family deal with death?
1. If you knew that you were terminally ill, what would be the greatest fears you would experience (physical and emotional) and WHY?
2. Make a list of the things you would do if you knew you had a limited time to live. Give reasons for your answers.

15. Baby Shower for Problem Pregnancy
Diapers
Bottles
Clothing
Etc.
Also: TEST Thursday or Friday

16. If you found out your time on this earth was limited:
List the things you would do.
List the things you would stop doing.
What would concern (frighten) you the most?
Describe your vision of the afterlife.