1. The Power of Our Words
Betsy Beltle, MS

2. What to Expect Today “Listening” & the 3 Rs of Teacher Language
Reinforcing
Reminding
Redirecting
Personal reflections

3. The Basics Effective Language: Clear, simple, direct
Genuine & respectful
Specific
Focused on actions, not character
Descriptive while avoiding personal judgment
Shows faith in children’s abilities & potential

4. Listening
It is the province of knowledge to speak. And the privilege of wisdom to listen—Oliver Wendell Holmes
Involves searching for the speaker’s intended meaning
“taking a vigorous, human interest in what is being told to us”
Lets us know the child individually, culturally, developmentally & makes the child feel like they are understood/belong
Child learns about him/herself when we reflect back what we heard
Build a sense of community-reflect how student’s concern is part of the larger group (i.e., the family)
When we listen, children take learning more seriously
Our listening makes children become better communicators

5. Listening: Technical Strategies
Pausing: allowing some wait time before responding, give yourself time to formulate response after thoroughly listening to speaker
Paraphrasing: restating the speaker’s words in your own words
Allow the speaker to assure that he or she meant what was said
Allow you to understand what the student understands
Allow everyone to think more deeply about topic if the adult follows up with open-ended question

6. The 3 Rs of Teacher Language
Reinforcing
Reminding
Redirecting
Seeing Children and Naming their Strengths
Helping Students Remember Expectations
Giving Clear Commands when students have gone off track

7. Reinforcing Learning comes from building on strengths & NOT weaknesses
Language can help see what a student is doing well and identify how to improve that
Reinforcing language is grossly underused!
“Great job!” “Well done!”—imprecise, non-specific praise

8. Reinforcing—when & why we use it
To coach a new skill, use encouraging language
Help move past a “stuck point” by highlighting what is going “right”
Point out individual child’s leading edge behaviors (done privately so as not to highlight weaknesses of others or draw comparisons)
Describe learning history: Yesterday it took 5 minutes but today only 3 minutes. What helped us to improve our time today?

9. Reinforcing—Effective Reinforcing Language
Name concrete, specific behaviors
Use a warm and professional tone
Emphasize description over personal approval
Consider adding a question to extend the child’s thinking
Find positives to name in all children
Avoid naming individuals as examples for others

10. Reminding Keep us organized and on track during the day
Support children via prompts to remember on their own
Remind children of behavioral expectations
What are we supposed to be doing right now
Prior to transitions so consider how to “finish up/clean up”

11. Reminding—Effective Reminding Language
Start by establishing clear expectations prior to the start
Phrase a reminder as a question or a statement
Use a direct tone and neutral body language
Use reminders proactively or reactively
Use reminders when children and you are both calm
Keep reminders brief
Watch for follow-through

12. Redirecting Ideally most time is spent reinforcing or reminding.
Sometimes we need to give clear, non-negotiable demands about what to do.
When children’s behavior could be dangerous
When children are too emotional to remember expectations
When children are too deeply involved in off-track behavior
Literally change child’s mental and physical direction by providing the external control that when self-control is failing them

13. Redirecting-Effective Redirecting Language
Be direct and specific.
Name the desired behavior
Keep it brief
Phrase redirections as a statement, not a question
Follow through after giving a redirection
NO discussion, NO lecturing, & NO explanations!

14. Personal Reflections
Have I ever said something to my child that I regret saying?
How do I speak to my child?
How do I speak to other adults?
Do my children know what I expect of them in all settings?

15. Final Thoughts