1. In the name of Allah

2. Scientific & Technical Presentation Leila Sharif Sharif University of Technology E-Mail: l_sharif@sharif.edul_sharif@sharif.edu http://ce.sharif.edu/courses/84-85/1/ce221/

3. The Craft of Editing Editing isn’t a cosmetic process. It’s a thinking process. Richard Rhodes, author Making of the Atomic Bomb

4. Although editing is a large subject, we will focus on the editing that occurs in the sign-off process Editing documents: Reviewing Line editing Online editing Proofreading Reducing friction: Actions by authors Actions by editors

5. Before editing someone’s document, you should first consider your constraints Other Editors of Document Audience of Document Format of Document Formality of Document Process to Publish Document Politics and Ethics

6. Three aspects of the writing affect the way that editors assess documents Content Style Form

7. Editing for content involves deciding what message to send Is the content complete? Is the content correct? Is the content appropriate?

8. Editing for style involves deciding how to communicate the message Focus on language Focus on illustration Focus on structure

9. Editing for form concerns whether the communication is properly presented Focus on grammar Focus on punctuation Focus on usage Focus on format Focus on spelling

10. Disposition of Writer Consistency of Change Importance of Change Difficulty of Change What variables determine how much change you make?

11. A well-done edit has three characteristics: clarity, consistency, and hierarchy hierarchy most important next most important least important consistency effect affect e clarity deletee

12. Last year, city engineers came up with a plan to address the tetrachloroethane- contaminated soil required to be excavated for planned thoroughfare construction that will occur within right-of-way adjacent to Building 1817, which houses the Genetics Laboratory. devised One convention is to circle comments, but not added words or letters sentence too long for This construction / #the *au: are you implying that Chem E contaminated the soil? au*

13. Reducing the friction between editors and authors calls for action on both sides Identifying pet peeves Negotiating gray areas Establishing boundaries Controlling tone Understanding authors Editors Authors Identifying constraints Submitting outlines early Allotting time for editors Mulling over criticisms

14. When editing someone’s writing, consider tone Edit one another as you would wish to be edited Lead with the positive Editor Author

15. Structure of a Scientific Document

16. Structure: the Strategy of Style Beginning Ending Middle If a man can group his ideas, then he is a writer. Robert Louis Stevenson

17. Beginning Ending Middle The organization of a scientific document can be viewed as a beginning, middle, and ending Title Summary Introduction Middle Sections Conclusions Back Matter

18. Beginnings prepare readers for understanding the work Summary tells readers what happens in document Introduction prepares readers for the middle Title orients readers to document

19. A strong title orients readers to your area of work Effects of Humidity on the Growth of Avalanches Effects of Humidity on the Growth of Electron Avalanches in Electrical Gas Discharges

20. A strong title also separates your work from everyone else's work Studies on the Electrodeposition of Lead on Copper Effects of Rhodamine-B on the Electrodeposition of Lead on Copper

21. Several names for summaries exist Summary Abstract Technical Abstract Executive Summary Descriptive Abstract Informative Abstract

22. Although several names exist for summaries, there are essentially two approaches This paper describes a new inertial navigation system for mapping oil and gas wells. In this paper, we will compare the mapping accuracy and speed for this new system against the accuracy and speed for conventional systems. Descriptive This paper describes a new inertial navigation system that will increase the mapping accuracy of oil wells by a factor of ten. The new system uses three-axis navigation that protects sensors from high-spin rates. The system also processes its information by Kalman filtering (a statistical sampling technique) in an on-site computer. Test results show the three-dimensional location accuracy is within 0.1 meters for every 100 meters of well depth, an accuracy ten times greater than conventional systems. Informative

23. A document's introduction prepares readers for the discussion Topic? Importance? Introduction Arrangement? Background?

24. The introduction defines the scope and limitations of the work Proposed Study on Effects of Alcohol on Life Expectancy Three classes of drinkers: non-drinkers moderate drinkers heavy drinkers Ten-year study Other effects, such as exercise, not considered Medical histories not considered Women may not experience the same effects Men surveyed scope limitations

25. A strong introduction tells readers why the research is important This paper presents a design for a platinum catalytic igniter in hydrogen-air mixtures. This igniter has application in nuclear reactors. One danger at a nuclear reactor is a loss-of-coolant accident. Such an accident can produce large quantities of hydrogen gas when hot water and steam react with zirconium fuel rods. In a serious accident, the evolution of hydrogen may be so rapid that it produces an explosive hydrogen-air mixture in the reactor containment building. This mixture could breach the containment walls and allow radiation to escape. Our method to eliminate this danger is to intentionally ignite the hydrogen-air mixture at concentrations below those for which any serious damage might result. importance

26. In the middle of a report, you present your work Choose a logical strategy Make sections and subsections Heading Subheading Heading Subheading Heading [Sandia, 1985]

27. Common strategies exist for the middles of scientific reports Chronological [Maizels, 2001] Spatial [Pratt & Whitney, 2000]

28. Common strategies exist for the middles of scientific reports Parallel Parts Corel Corporation Flow [Sandia, 1985]

29. Section headings should be descriptive and parallel Non-Parallel Non-Descriptive Introduction Background Marx Generators Line Pulse Beam Generation Transporting Beam Pellets Results Conclusions Introduction Background Marx Generators Line Pulse Beam Generation Transporting Beam Pellets Results Conclusions Parallel Descriptive Introduction Past Designs for Particle Beam Fusion New Design for Particle Beam Fusion Charging Marx Generators Forming Line Pulse Generating Particle Beam Transporting Particle Beam Irradiating Deuterium-Tritium Pellets Results of New Design Conclusions and Recommendations Introduction Past Designs for Particle Beam Fusion New Design for Particle Beam Fusion Charging Marx Generators Forming Line Pulse Generating Particle Beam Transporting Particle Beam Irradiating Deuterium-Tritium Pellets Results of New Design Conclusions and Recommendations

30. When you divide a section into subsections, all the pieces should be of the same pie New Design for Particle Beam Fusion Charging Marx Generators Generating Particle Beam Pellets New Design for Particle Beam Fusion Charging Marx Generators Generating Particle Beam Irradiating Deuterium-Tritium Pellets

31. Organization is hidden when headings occur in a long list without secondary headings Performance of the Solar One Receiver Introduction Steady State Efficiency Average Efficiency Start-Up Time Operation Time Operation During Cloud Transients Panel Mechanical Supports Tube Leaks Conclusion Performance of the Solar One Receiver Introduction Receiver’s Efficiency Steady State Efficiency Average Efficiency Receiver’s Operation Cycle Start-Up Time Operation Time Operation During Cloud Transients Receiver’s Mechanical Wear Panel Mechanical Supports Tube Leaks Conclusion

32. Many journal articles follow a set organization named IMRaD Materials and Methods Results Discussion Introduction

33. In a strong ending, you analyze results and give a future perspective Analyze results from overall perspective Conclusions Analysis of Results Several options: Make recommendations Discuss future work Repeat limitations Future Perspective

34. Use appendices to supply background for secondary audiences Appendix A Concern About the Greenhouse Effect For almost a hundred years, experts have been concerned with the increasing concentrations of gases such as carbon dioxide, methane, and nitrogen oxides in the earth's lower atmosphere. These gases are natural by-products of combustion. Figure A-1 illustrates the correlation between global temperature and carbon dioxide concentrations...

35. Use appendices to supply secondary or tangential information to primary readers Appendix B Project Stormfury In 1961, the United States Weather Bureau and the Department of Defense (Navy) began a project to reduce the strength of hurricanes. The project, called Project Stormfury, uses cloud seeding, a process used to produce rainfall and reduce hail in thunderstorms. In Project Stormfury, silver iodide crystals, similar in structure to ice, are dispersed by airplanes in the upper reaches of cloud formations just outside the hurricane's eye where the winds are highest. Initial results showed that wind speeds decreased between 15–30% after seedings...

36. Glossary burst point: the exact point in space where an atomic bomb is detonated. clear visibility: a viewing range of twenty miles. fallout: the descent to the Earth's surface of radioactive particles from a cloud contaminated with the fission products of a nuclear explosion. hypocenter: the point on the earth's surface directly below the burst point; also called ground zero. For secondary readers, use a glossary to define unfamiliar terms

37. Failing to cite the contribution of others can be a fatal flaw in your career James Watson surreptitiously looked at Rosalind Franklin’s work [Franklin, 1952] Watson did not give enough credit to Franklin [Luzzati, 1950]

38. Illustrations

39. Keep it as simple as possible, yet no simpler. Albert Einstein Illustration: The Meshing of Words With Images X-ray photograph of DNA [Rosalind Franklin, 1952]

40. Table 1. Reactor power levels in Chernobyl accident [Wolfson, 1991]. DateTimePower Level 4/251:00 am3200 MW 4/252:00 pm1600 MW 4/2511:10 pm1600 MW 4/261:00 am30 MW 4/261:19 am200 MW 4/261:23 am2,000,000 MW Figure 1. Simplified diagram of nuclear reactor [Wolfson, 1991]. Coolant Loss Reactor Vessel Core Pressurizer Steam Generator Two types of illustrations exist: tables and figures

41. Table 2. Sequence of events in the Chernobyl accident [Wolfson, 1991]. April 25 April 26 DateTimePower LevelEvent 1:00 a.m. 2:00 p.m. 11:10 p.m. 1:00 a.m. 1:19 a.m. 1:23 a.m. 3200 MW 1600 MW 30 MW 200 MW 2,000,000 MW Operators begin power descent Power descent delayed for 9 hours Emergency core-cooling system disconnected Operators switch off automatic control Power descent resumed Power minimum reached Operators pull rods beyond allowable limits Operators start two additional coolant pumps Operators violate coolant flow limits Power surges by factor of 10,000 in 5 seconds Tables can present words as well as numbers

42. When presenting numerical data, you choose between tables and graphs Time (hour) midnight 2:00 4:00 6:00 8:00 10:00 noon 2:00 4:00 6:00 8:00 10:00 Normal (mg/dl*) 100.3 93.6 88.2 100.5 138.6 102.4 93.8 132.3 103.8 93.6 127.8 109.2 Diabetic (mg/dl) 175.8 165.7 159.4 72.1 271.0 224.6 161.8 242.7 219.4 152.6 227.1 221.3 Table 2. Blood glucose levels [Carlson, 1982]. * decaliters/milligram

43. Temperature (K) Distance From Burner (mm) Figure 3. Computational and experimental temperatures for laminar diffusion flames [Sandia, 1987]. Experiment Simulation 2000 1500 1000 500 0 0246810 Line graphs are common in engineering and science

44. Figure 4. Response of T-cells in cosmonauts after short-term and long-term flights [Konstantinova, 1991]. Cells% Flight Duration (Days) 10 20 30 7-10 112–175 211–366 Normal range Bar graphs compare wholes

45. Figure 5. Schedule for the construction, evaluation, and production phases of the Solar One Power Plant. Task197919811983198519871989 Construction Test and Evaluation Power Production Gantt charts are a type of bar charts

46. Industrial wastes (28%) Medical and research wastes (16%) Power reactor wastes (64%) Power Reactor Industrial Medical Government Government wastes (2%) Figure 5. Volume of low-level nuclear wastes from various sources [League, 1985]. Pie graphs compare parts of a whole

47. Figure 6. Estimated annual dose of radiation in the United States [GPU Nuclear, 1985]. Average dose: 160 mrem Natural Sources Medical Sources 85 mrem 70 mrem { Fallout: < 3mrem Occupational: < 1mrem Nuclear power: < 1mrem Graphs come in many forms

48. When presenting images, you choose between photographs, drawings, and diagrams Compressor Combustor 1 2 3 4 Turbine

49. The main advantage of photographs is realism Figure 2. Space Shuttle Challenger, from about 59 seconds to 60 seconds into launch (January 28, 1986). On the right rocket, flame first becomes visible and then impinges on tank. 59 seconds 59.5 seconds 60 seconds

50. One advantage of drawings is control of detail Figure 5. Wind tunnel experiment at Virginia Tech for evaluating film-cooling designs for the blades of gas turbine engines [Thole and others, 2000]. Secondary Flow Primary Flow Secondary Flow Turbine Vanes Combustor Simulator Dilution Jet Film-Cooling Holes

51. The main advantage of a diagram is the ability to show flow of a variable through a system Figure 8. Schematic of test stand for evaluating components of an air conditioner design.

52. Figure 5. Schematic of thermal storage system. RECEIVER FLASH TANK HP HTR DEAR- ATOR HOT WELL TSSGTSSG TURBINE TSU DSPH TSH FT The thermal storage system stores heat in a huge, steel- walled tank. Steam from the solar receiver passes through heat exchangers to heat the thermal oil, which is pumped into the tank. The tank then provides energy to run a steam generator to produce electricity. A schematic of this system is shown in Figure 5. Scientists and engineers often use illustrations that are too complex for the text

53. The thermal storage system, shown in Figure 6, stores heat in a huge, steel-walled tank. Steam from the solar receiver heats a thermal oil, which is pumped into the tank. The tank then provides energy to run a steam generator to produce electricity. Figure 6. Schematic of thermal storage system for the solar power plant. steam generator 650°F 580°F 425°F 435°F solar receiver 575°F 425°F 530°F 250°F Thermal Tank Heat Exchanger Heat Exchanger The precision of the illustrations should reflect the precision of the text

54. Figure 7. Title of figure. Some formats allow you extra sentences to explain unusual details...., as shown in Figure 7. For clarity, you should introduce and explain illustrations in the text

55. The testing hardware of the rocket shown in Figure 8 has five main components: camera, digitizer, computer, I/O interface, and mechanical interface. Commands are generated by the computer, then passed through the I/O interface to the mechanized interface where the keyboard of the ICU is operated. The display of the ICU is read with a television camera and then digitized. This information is then manipulated by the computer to direct the next command. PRINTER CONTROL TERMINAL COMPUTER DIGITIZER CAMERA ELECTRO- MECHANICAL INTERFACE ROCKET Figure 8. Testing hardware. Inconsistencies between text and images disrupt fluidity

56. Our system for testing the launch controls of the rocket consists of four main parts: computer, electro-mechanical interface, camera, and digitizer. In this system (shown in Figure 9), the computer generates test commands to the rocket through the electro- mechanical interface. The test results are read with a television camera, and then digitized. The computer receives the information from the digitizer, and then directs the next test command. Figure 9. System to test launch controls for rocket. Camera Digitizer Computer Electro- Mechanical Interface 1 2 3 4 Rocket Illustration is the meshing of words with images