1. Civil Dialog: What We All Need Now! Can We Bring Back or Sustain Civil Dialog in the Workplace to Solve the Complex Problems We Face and Create a Civil Community?

2. Frame Work to Remember All of life’s conflicts are between:  Letting go or holding on  Opening into the present or clinging to the past  Expansion or contraction of possibilities

3. Just a Little Context http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17jymDn0W6U

4. Uncertainty  Have you noticed------how lacking clarity is clarity itself?  How, if you aren’t sure about something, alone has meaning?  Honor uncertainty. It is the womb from which all- knowingness comes.

5. The Blind Men and the Elephant

6. Emotional Intelligence Items  Reflective practices as a part of the inquiry process  Suspension of judgment  Taking others’ perspective  Empathy  Holding tensions between two different points of view  Practices “respective engagements”  Understands collective responsibility

7. Kohlberg’s Stages

8. Circle of Concern Circle of Influence

10. Foundational Problems  Not wanting to advance to a new stage of moral or civil development  Can the staff members focus on their influence and not get caught up in unsolvable concerns?  Can individual staff members take personal responsibility to change their uncivil or disrespectful behavior?

11. Type of Justice What is the Objection?  Utilitarian : Vote – the greatest number wins  Libertarian : I need consent; my rights, my beliefs, values, and freedom to choose  Communitarian : Common good, group membership, solidarity, loyality  Aristilian : Honorific, what is deeply deserved, valued or believed in

12. Why We Need Civil Dialog  Main reason: to solve complex issues we face in daily life and long-term relationship sustainability  Good and aware citizens for our nation, community and individual actions  Productive, safe, respectful and creative work communities  To make positive “inner work-life meaning”

13. Communitarians  We all have to participate in civil dialog and respectful engagements for the common good –students, families and educational settings that are corner stones of our society  We all have to be “emotionally intelligent “ and participate in complex problem solving

14. What If Staff Don’t Want to Be Emotionally Intelligent and Respectful Engagers?  First you have to have an agreement with all stakeholders. The requirements need to be in hiring practices, job descriptions, meeting norms and staff evaluations  It needs to be clear that staff who are not willing or completely unaware, will be given a chance to change, however if no change occurs in reasonable time, needed consequences will be delivered

15. It’s Clear We Need to Work Together  In our daily work-life and solving complex issues, we need to all work together  We need to use tools, getting to YES, or polarity management to help us  Your community should not have bullying behavior, or dominating personalities that “derail” the communities’ actions

16. Getting to Yes!  Separate the People from the Problem  Focus on Interests  Invent Options  Objective Standards  Create the Action

17. Action Steps How will we gain or maintain the positive result from focusing on this left pole? What? Who? By when? Measures? 1. 2 3. 4. Early Warnings Measurable Indicators (things you can count) that will let you know that you are getting into the downside of this left pole. 1. 2 3. 4. and Greater Purpose Statement (GPS): Why balance this polarity? Early Warnings Measurable Indicators (things you can count) that will let you know that you are getting into the downside of this right pole. 1. 2 3. 4. Action Steps How will we gain or maintain the positive result from focusing on this right pole? What? Who? By when? Measures? 1. 2 3. 4. TITLE: Values = positive results from focusing on the right pole Values = positive results from focusing on the left pole Fears = negative results from over focusing on the left pole to the neglect of the right pole Fears = negative results from over focusing on the right pole to the neglect of the left pole Deeper Fear from lack of balance Polarity Management

18. Dialog – Bohme  Speak to be understood instead of pursued  All people feel the commitment/ownership to speak up  The facilitator or team member identifies the “gem” being created by the team and brings to the attention of the whole group  The whole group agrees with the “gem” in terms of total agreement, mildly agreeing or not agreeing with the “gem” but not going to sabotage it, either

19. What’s Important?  The safe transportation of students to and from school  We resolve issues using strategic tools and respective staff members  We try to create multiple positive options and not power over others with our truth  Respectful engagements is difficult, needed and should be a community norm

20. It Needs to Be US  Courageous conversations are needed between leaders and staff members and in between staff members  Without these courageous conversations, the community could live in decline, toxity and even sabotage  Finding your inner leader is critical to this task

21. Be Curious  Civil dialog is a respectful behavior for transportation communities  If individual staff is given chances and no change is seen, it will only help the community to have these individuals gone  It is important for all of us to stay reflective, respectful and ready to be the best we can be!

22. The End  We all need to take personal responsibility to be reflective, suspend judgments and create the best options for our transportation communities  There are effective tools, ideas, concepts and strategies in this work  Make the shop, your community a civil place for great accomplishments Thanks!