2. Positive Starters Deepening and Developing Relationship Mature Love

3. Sex One- Sided Communication Not so great Not much there Not really You Have No Commitment/Trust Non e Meant something only to one person Few Common Interests Time Together Not Much Fun Doesn’t Feels Like a Friend

4. Inverted Relationship Pyramid Not Really Mature No Development One-Sided One-SidedRelationship No Positive Starters Communication Not Great Few Common Interests; Time Together Not Much Fun Doesn’t Feel Like a Friend YOU HAVE NO COMMITMENT, NO TRUST! SEX SEX No Foundation

6. Copyright © 2007 by Marline E. Pearson. All Rights Reserved.

7. Copyright © 2007 by Marline E. Pearson. All Rights Reserved.

9. Copyright © 2007 by Marline E. Pearson. All Rights Reserved.

13. FUTURE

14. W HICH S IDE IS M ISSING ? When Tom and Mary were 19 years old they fell in love practically at first sight. They were magically drawn to each other and couldn't bear to be apart. They quickly got sexually involved and within two weeks had moved in with each other. A month later they eloped. A year and a half later they discovered they really weren't very compatible. They had totally different interests and values. They were not good friends, their communication wasn’t very good and they didn’t have much fun anymore.

15. W HICH S IDE IS M ISSING ? Kevin and Keisha were very good friends. They enjoyed talking to each other and could talk for hours. They shared tons of interests. They had no better friend. But there was no heat, no physical attraction, or chemistry. After 18 months of being inseparable as pals, they thought “Why not? Let's get hitched, since we're so compatible and enjoy each other’s company.”

16. 1. Seek a good match – Someone with common interests 2. Pay attention to values 3. Don’t try to change someone into someone he or she is not 4. Don’t change yourself to get someone’s love or friendship 5. Expect good communication 6. Don’t play games, be phony, or pressure someone 7. Expect respect—Have standards for what you expect

17. DECIDE, DON ’ T SLIDE

18. Different interests Values and goals not compatible Discover you don’t really like his or her personality The relationship feels complicated No freedom to experience other people Find you like someone else better Poor communication; you’re not able to talk and share freely Not so fun; not the kind of relationship you had imagined Don’t like the way he or she treats you Lied to; cheated on Feeling used Put down; controlled; disrespectful or abusive treatment Feeling unsupported Wanting to change your boyfriend/girlfriend Discover he/she has serious problems (drugs, alcohol) Getting an STD Getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant Raising a child alone

19. Attraction Learn More Decide Attraction Slide Then Learn Risks…

20. P ERSONAL A DS