1. Engaging Parents March 11 2014 NICKY HUTCHINSON & CHRIS CALLAND Not Just Behaviour www.notjustbehaviour.co.uk

2. In this session we will  Consider attachment theory and the needs of troubled children  Identify the barriers to parental engagement  Look at ways to develop an effective relationship  Focus on practical problem solving strategies and ways to engage parents and children

3. Attachment Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space (Ainsworth, 1973; Bowlby, 1969).Ainsworth Bowlby

4. Secure Attachment Insecure Attachment Avoidant Ambivalent Disorganised

5. For a direct comparison. Normal 2-year old. 2-year orphan.

6. Barriers….

7. What needs to be in place for a good partnership with parents?

8. Active Listening

9. Core Conditions Acceptance Genuineness Empathy

10. Keys to Good Listening Allow Pauses Open Posture Turn Off Your Own Words Listen for Feelings Use reflective Listening Paraphrase Open questions Be tentative

11. Solution focused approach

12. Why use it? Simple Short term Positive They are part of the solution

13. Connect

14. Identify resources Skills Abilities Qualities ◦ Supportive relationships Internal External

15. Possible questions So what did it take for you to achieve that? How did you get through it? How did you deal with that experience What did you learn about yourself? What do you think it might have taught others about you?

16. Preferred futures.... Focus on the future What do you want to achieve? What will that look like? What will you be doing differently? The ‘miracle’ question... Keep it real

17. The scaling question Focus on the positive Find a good enough number What if they go below 0?!

18. Review Review positives Give constructive feedback Remind them of positive targets/actions agreed

20. Next steps……