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UNIT 1 LESSON 2 BUILDING YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM
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While listening to yourself is important in defining your own road, it is not always easy; often, you will need the support of others to help you strengthen your decisions. As you have already learned, there may be a lot of negative “noise” in your life, but it is important to remember that not all the advice and insight you receive should be thrown out. Part of being mature is being able to honestly evaluate what you hear and consider the value of the advice from your friends, family and even society as a whole.
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We have found that the leaders who are most successful in defining their own road always had a network of supportive friends, family and mentors whose advice they listened to carefully, who cheered them on as they discovered who they were and who lifted their spirits when they were struggling.
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FINDING THE RIGHT PIECES Finding the right people that support who you are is essential to living a life defined by you. As a middle school student, its easy to want to spend time with people just because they are what you consider “popular” or because you have always hung out with them, some of these people will be part of your support network. In my experience, expanding your comfort zones has led us to some extremely amazing and supportive people. You will probably meet some of the best friends of your life once you expand your comfort zone.
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If you break away slightly from what is familiar to you and broaden the range of people you build relationships with, you my find there are many people in the world who have the potential to be a supportive part of your life, whose personality you will enjoy, and whom you can support as well.
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SO HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT FIGURING OUT WHO THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE ARE THAT WILL SUPPORT YOU? By evaluating who stands by you. Who offers you meaningful words of wisdom versus simply telling you what you should do. By evaluating who listens to what you are thinking instead of judging you.
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SO WHO ARE THESE ‘SUPPORTIVE’ PEOPLE? Supportive people might not just be people your own age. Your support system might consist of family members, teachers, counselors, employers and other people which you develop relationships throughout your life.
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YOUR “THEATER OF LIFE” This is the idea that we will use to describe the formation of your support system. In a theater there are a set number of seats and only so many seats in the front row. Evaluating who you let into your theater allows you to maintain a supportive audience. But who do you want to give front row tickets to the performance of your life to?
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If you give tickets to those whose advice you find encouraging and inspiring, and those who support you, you will be on your way to building a life that matters to you. Having the right people in your network of support will assist you in accomplishing anything you want to in life.
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EXERCISE 5 Imagine you are on a stage in the theater of your life. You are defining your own road, and have overcome self-doubt and Negative Noise to do what you truly love to do. As you look into the audience, who is in your personal front row? Who are the people that will be completely happy for you, who showed up extra early to get front row seats to make sure they were there to witness you accomplish your dreams?
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In the image below, there are five empty seats for your front row. It is your job to now fill in who will sit there; then below the image explain why you chose each person to fill that special seat. Fill in one seat with a teacher, one seat with a family member, and one seat with a friend. The final two seats are to be filled in with people of your choice, but remember, not just the group you hang out with is part of your network of support. There are people in various parts of your life who support who you are.
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In a word document, and in paragraph form please explain why you picked each of the people that you picked. Who would sit where, why?
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