1. Business Communication, 15 th edition by Lehman and DuFrene  Copyright 2008 by Thomson/South-Western Preparing Spoken and Written Messages Business Communication, 15e Lehman and DuFrene Chapter 4 Lecture Slides

2. Chapter 4 Business Communication, 15 th edition by Lehman and DuFrene  Copyright 2008 by Thomson/South-Western Actual Newspaper Headlines Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Miners refuse to work after death Drunk gets nine months in violin case Iraqi head seeks arms Source: Source: http://english.glendale.cc.ca.us/badheds.html

3. Process for Planning and Preparing Spoken and Written Messages Chapter 4 Business Communication, 15 th edition by Lehman and DuFrene  Copyright 2008 by Thomson/South-Western

4. Step 5: Prepare the First Draft Craft Powerful sentences (pg 118-121) Avoid Run-on sentences (break into 2 or use commas appropriately) Use commas when the sentence pauses Emphasize important ideas – simplify sentences and repeat key words Use “labeling” language Place words at beginning or end or sentence Rely on active voice (the subject of the sentence is the doer of the action)…exceptions when communicating unpleasantness or hiding who the “doer” was

5. Chapter 4 Business Communication, 15 th edition by Lehman and DuFrene  Copyright 2008 by Thomson/South-Western Active/Passive Construction Identify the construction in these sentences. The award was presented to Josh. The company president presented the award to Josh. The award was presented to Josh. The company president presented the award to Josh. Maggie was invited to be the keynote speaker. The event manager invited Maggie to be the keynote speaker. Maggie was invited to be the keynote speaker. The event manager invited Maggie to be the keynote speaker. Ryan was driven to the airport after the meeting. My assistant drove Ryan to the airport after the meeting. Ryan was driven to the airport after the meeting. My assistant drove Ryan to the airport after the meeting.

6. Chapter 4 Business Communication, 15 th edition by Lehman and DuFrene  Copyright 2008 by Thomson/South-Western Step 5: Prepare the First Draft Develop Coherent paragraphs Position “topic” (key) sentences deductively or inductively as appropriate Link ideas from one sentence to the next to achieve coherence (page 122) – can repeat a key word, use a pronoun in lieu of a key word, or use connecting words Use logical paragraph order – 1st/last are based on deductive vs. inductive intentions. In between paragraphs need to have logical order Vary sentence and paragraph length and structure – don’t fall into a rut Be consistent with tenses and 1 st /3 rd person ______

7. Using Bulky vs. Broken Text Chapter 4 Business Communication, 15 th edition by Lehman and DuFrene  Copyright 2008 by Thomson/South-Western

8. Step 6: Revise and Proofread Why does sloppy writing matter? Impression of writer suffers Receiver will be quicker to ascribe other negative traits Reader will have less interest in material Reader may not be able to understand key points

9. Chapter 4 Business Communication, 15 th edition by Lehman and DuFrene  Copyright 2008 by Thomson/South-Western Improve Readability 1.Create documents appropriate for audience reading level (see calc on slide 10) 2.Apply visual enhancements like enumerations and bulleted/enumerated lists (examples on page 128) 3.Use headings (or “headers”) 4.Insert tables and graphs 5.Use borders where appropriate (ex: resume) 6.Use images when beneficial (see slides 11 & 12)

10. Chapter 4 Business Communication, 15 th edition by Lehman and DuFrene  Copyright 2008 by Thomson/South-Western Readability Computation No. of words: 138 No. of sentences: 8 Average sentence length: 17 (138 ÷ 8 = 17) No. of difficult words: 16 Percentage of difficult words: 11.6% (16 ÷ 138 = 11.6) Average sentence length 17.0 + Percentage difficult words 11.6 28.6 x 0.4 (constant) Readability level 11.4 No. of words: 138 No. of sentences: 8 Average sentence length: 17 (138 ÷ 8 = 17) No. of difficult words: 16 Percentage of difficult words: 11.6% (16 ÷ 138 = 11.6) Average sentence length 17.0 + Percentage difficult words 11.6 28.6 x 0.4 (constant) Readability level 11.4

11. Chapter 4 Business Communication, 15 th edition by Lehman and DuFrene  Copyright 2008 by Thomson/South-Western Example: Before This is a multipurpose passenger vehicle which will handle and maneuver differently from an ordinary passenger car, in driving conditions which may occur on streets and highways and off road. As with other vehicles of this type, if you make sharp turns or abrupt maneuvers, the vehicle may roll over or may go out of control and crash. You should read driving guidelines and instructions in the Owner's Manual, and WEAR YOUR SEAT BELTS AT ALL TIMES.

12. Chapter 4 Business Communication, 15 th edition by Lehman and DuFrene  Copyright 2008 by Thomson/South-Western Example: After Source: http://www.plainlanguage.gov Chapter 4 Business Communication, 15 th edition by Lehman and DuFrene  Copyright 2008 by Thomson/South-Western

13. Use Systemic Procedures for Proofreading and Revising 1.Use spell check to locate simple keying errors and repeated words 2.Print a draft of the document – easier to spot mistakes when printed 3.Proofread several times 1st for content, organization, style/tone 2nd for mechanical errors that spell-check can’t catch – grammar, capitalization, punctuation, number usage, abbreviations, word substitutions (THEIR!) 3 rd time for if important/complex. Read ALOUD and get 2 nd brain if you can

14. Chapter 4 Business Communication, 15 th edition by Lehman and DuFrene  Copyright 2008 by Thomson/South-Western Use Systemic Procedures for Proofreading and Revising 4.Edit for format and layout – specific to business/industry/company 5.Print on high-quality paper

15. Chapter 4 Business Communication, 15 th edition by Lehman and DuFrene  Copyright 2008 by Thomson/South-Western Cultivate a Frame of Mind for Effective Revising and Proofreading Attempt to see things from your audience’s perspective rather than from your own – how will they react and will they fully understand it? Revise documents until you cannot see further improvements (within reason and based on importance) Allow others to make suggestions for improving your writing – avoid “pride of ownership” and have thick skin!