2. Surround Yourself With Support Gather Your Allies & Plant Yourself in an Environment Which Allows You to Thrive

3. Invest in meeting your needs. The more resources you provide for yourself, the better your odds of success. There are no trivial needs, and with every resource you lack, your odds of success diminish. Acknowledge your needs and invest as much as possible in the resources you need to meet your needs, especially your need for connection.

4. CONNECTION acceptance affection appreciation belonging cooperation communication closeness community companionship compassion consideration consistency empathy inclusion intimacy love mutuality nurturing respect/self-respect CONNECTION cont. safety security stability support to know and be known to see and be seen to understand and be understood trust warmth PHYSICAL WELL-BEING air food movement/exercise rest/sleep sexual expression safety shelter touch water HONESTY authenticity integrity presence PLAY joy humor PEACE beauty communion ease equality harmony inspiration order AUTONOMY choice freedom independence space spontaneity MEANING awareness celebration of life challenge clarity competence consciousness contribution creativity discovery efficacy effectiveness growth hope learning mourning participation purpose MEANING cont. self-expression stimulation to matter understanding What do you need? (From Non-Violent Communication)

5. Surround yourself with role models and peers who you admire Massive amounts of research show time and again that behavior is contagious, and you do much of what you do because your peers are doing these things. Truly successful people surround themselves with people who’ve achieved or are on the path to achieving the success they desire.

6. Break the cycle of isolation. Many people use invisibility and isolation are a protective strategy because if you’re not seen, you can’t be judged a failure. The problem is that if you’re not seen, you likely won’t receive support, and you likely won’t finish your work or attain other goals. You can get trapped in a vicious cycle that looks like: procrastination > shame > isolation > procrastination

7. Have the courage to be vulnerable. Shame arises from social trauma. Because the wounding to our hearts came in relationships, our healing often must come through receiving acceptance, empathy, and love from of another person.

8. Be Seen, Heard, & Loved When you have a shame attack, resist your urge to hide, and remember that shame is something that all humans experience. Reach out to share your experience with someone who you trust, someone with whom you feel safe, supported, and truly heard. Be careful not to make a bid for support from someone who has a history of not supporting you. If you don’t have anyone who you can trust with your whole truth, seek the support of a skilled coach or therapist. When you talk, you can share… What happened and how the situation is really affecting you. How you feel. What the Judge is saying. What you need. And, allow yourself to soak in the love you receive.

9. Have the courage to ask for help. If your inner Orphan is strong, and you have a tendency to not ask for help, your task is this: Practice asking for help; in the next several weeks, ask for help way more than is comfortable. Then, notice how people respond. A couple will say no, and you may discover that it’s not that big of a deal. And others will be excited to help you. Pay close attention to how it feels to ask, how it feels to receive, how it feels to hear “no,” and what you can do to discern in the future who to ask for support from.

10. Innocent, Orphan, Caretaker The Innocent Strategy Child trusts without discernment, thinking that others are infallible. She has a harsh inner Judge and blames herself for other people’s mistakes. It is often unconsciously easier for her to bare taking on the responsibility of another person’s actions than feeling powerless and considering that another person would let her down. The Orphan Strategy Child distrusts without discernment. She believes that everyone will let her down and that she can count on no one but herself. She feels disconnected and feels exhausted by responsibility. Our task is to cultivate the Inner Caretaker, the part of ourselves that trusts with discernment. The Inner Caretaker discerns who she can and cannot trust invest her trust in, and she risks being vulnerable and potentially disappointed in order to ask for help, receive support and eventually come to trust that help is abundant and that most people love to help.

11. Make specific requests. It is your responsibility to state your needs.

12. Your social strength determines your success. Research in positive psychology shows that the strength of our social support network is the biggest determinant of our happiness and that happiness is one of the biggest factors in determining a person’s success. The strength of your community could therefore be the determining factor in your success. In no great story does the hero go it alone. Surround yourself with supportive family, friends, colleagues, accountability partners, networking communities, clients, mentors, and professional support people. Ask yourself… Which allies can I call on for support on my journey?

13. Organize your space and your life. A cluttered environment triggers the amygdala, making it difficult to focus, so make sure that your work space is clean and decluttered. If you need help from a professional organizer in Western Mass, Julie Manning can be reached at julie.manning12@gmail.com. Housework can also take a lot of time, and I recommend that you delegate cleaning as much as possible. Beloved Earth is a great, local cleaning company who treats their employees, the environment, and their clients with lots of tender loving care. You can reach their owner, Terra, at terra@belovedearthcompany.com.

14. Plant yourself in an environment in which you can succeed. Surround yourself with people and objects that remind you to stay on the path toward your calling. The following may offer you support… Create a vision board that reminds you of your calling every day. Spend time in nature to remind yourself of your perfection. Surround yourself with beauty and bring flowers, plants, or water inside. Listen to soothing or invigorating music. Declutter and surround yourself with space and simplicity.

15. Maintain your physical health. Treat your body like an invaluable work partner, and deal with small aches and physical discomforts become they become a larger problem. Create comfortable and ergonomic workspaces, eat healthy food and hydrate yourself throughout your day, and make sure to get as much sleep as you need every night.

16. Nourish the soul of your business. Business coach Hiro Boga talks about the “diva” of your business. She writes that each business has its own “diva” or soul, which is separate from that of its creator and needs to be nourished and cared for. In order for your business to be healthy, you must nourish it, and in order for you to sustain your energy as a business owner, you must nourish yourself.