1. Marriage in America Real Problems and Practical Solutions Salah Soltan June 2, 2005 Presentation for Class 094 Prof. Melva Schottenstein CSCC

2. Introduction: Importance of marriage between men and women  God created everything in pairs –Adam and Eve –All of creation:  Humans: God created human beings as males and females  Animals: God created animals in the same way as mates  Plants: God even created plants in males and females  Electricity: positive and negative (e.g. Car battery)  Magnetism: Opposites attract –Pairs complement one another

3. Introduction: Importance of marriage between men and women “And of every thing We have created pairs: That ye may receive instruction.” (Quran 51:49)

4. I. Goals of Marriage

5.  Tranquility, comfort, and affection. –This is the foundation upon which the goals are built.  Intimacy  Giving birth and raising good children  Social cohesion – Marriage to strengthen bonds between extended families

6. II. Marriage Problems in America

7. 1.Lack of marriage 2.Divorce and abuse 3.Intimacy problems 4.Problems with children 5.Extended family problems

8. 1. Lack of Marriage Dramatic increase from 1970 to 2002

9. 1. Lack of Marriage  More and more people are deciding not to get married.  In 2003, there were 7.5 marriages per 1000 people Age1970199920002002 Male: 20 to 24 yrs35.8%83.2%83.7%85.4% 25 to 29 yrs10.552.151.753.7 30 to 34 yrs6.230.730.034.0 35 to 39 yrs5.421.120.321.1 40 to 44 yrs4.915.815.716.7 Female: 20 to 24 yrs54.7%72.3%72.8%74.0% 25 to 29 yrs19.138.9 40.4 30 to 34 yrs9.422.121.923.0 35 to 39 yrs7.215.214.314.7 40 to 44 yrs6.310.911.811.5 Put reference here

10. 2. Divorce and Abuse  50% of marriages in America end in divorce  33% of adult women have been abused  Every day, an average of 3 women are killed by husbands or boyfriends

11. 3. Intimacy Problems  For modesty reasons, I am not going to talk about this issue but it is one that many people have problems with. It has a big effect on happiness in marriage.

12. 4. Problems for Children  One in three children is born to unmarried parents  50% of children will live in single-parent families

13. 5. Extended Family Problems  New England Journal of Medicine indicated that 52% of all women and 33% of all men who are now 65 will spend their last years in a nursing home.

14. III. Specific Problems

15. III. Specific Problems – Muslim Community

16. III. Specific Problems

17. IV. Practical Solutions

18. 1.General Solutions 2.Specific Solutions

19. 1. General Solutions  Take guidance from the divine revelation –God created and has the right to command

21. 1. General Solutions  Revive the understanding of the complimentary roles of husbands and wives

23. 1. General Solutions  Flexibility with jobs. Especially of the wife –Society should put family ahead of work –Employers should give more time off for women who have babies –Adoption of social programs for supporting pregnant women and new mothers as done in Germany and France –Giving women their rights as mothers not only as employees

24. Three Keys  Love in the heart  Reaching a common understanding  Harmony in intimacy Heart BodyMind

25. Conclusion  There is a crisis today in American family life and we need to work hard to fix both general society and individual families to achieve the goals of marriage: Love, understanding, good kids, and a strong society

26. References  The Holy Quran (www.quran.net) www.quran.net  US Census Bureau (www.census.gov) www.census.gov  Bureau of Justice Statistics Selected Findings  American Bar Association (www.abanet.org) www.abanet.org  Women’s Educational Media (www.womedia.org) www.womedia.org  Errold F. Moody Jr (www.efmoody.com) www.efmoody.com