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Set Form – liminal stage
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In Orthodox Judaism Set Form – liminal On the day of the wedding
The couple fast before the ceremony, as they prepare for a solemn as well as a joyful occasion.
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The process of marriage occurs in two distinct stages:
Set Form – liminal The process of marriage occurs in two distinct stages: kiddushin (commonly translated as betrothal) nisuin (full-fledged marriage; literally elevation). and
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In the past Set Form – liminal
the kiddushin and nisuin would routinely occur as much as a year apart, however today the two ceremonies are normally performed together. The ceremony itself lasts minutes.
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Wedding ceremony Set Form – liminal Stage 1 - Kiddushin
Greeting the Groom and Bride - The Kabbalat Panim The Veiling of the Kallah - The Badeken Escorting the Chatan and Kallah Circling the Chatan The Betrothal Benediction - Kiddushin Stage 2 - Nisuin The Seven Marriage Blessings - Sheva Berachot The Breaking of the Glass Entering the Private Room – Yichud The Wedding Feast - Seudat Mitzva The reading of the Ketubah acts as a break between the two stages of the wedding
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Greeting the Groom and Bride - The Kabbalat Panim
Set Form – liminal Greeting the Groom and Bride - The Kabbalat Panim As the guests begin to arrive, the groom and the bride are greeted in Separate receptions, called Kabbalat Panim, in separate reception rooms since the groom and bride do not see each other for the week prior to the wedding until the veiling ceremony (Badeken).
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The men, including the Set Form – liminal
ushers, arrive first. This is known as the groom’s Tish – the time when the groom, ushers and male family members gather for song and prayers before the ceremony.
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The bride is seated on a special
Set Form – liminal The bride is seated on a special "throne," from which she greets her guests.
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At this time there is a tradition
Set Form – liminal At this time there is a tradition for the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom to stand together and break a plate. The reason is to show the seriousness of the commitment - symbolizing that just as the breaking of the plate is irreversible, so should the engagement be everlasting.
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In the groom's reception area
Set Form – liminal In the groom's reception area the "Ketubah," a legal document dating back about 2,000 years, is then signed and witnessed.
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The "Ketubah," Set Form – liminal
shows that marriage is more than a physical-spiritual union; it is a legal and moral commitment. (The kallah does not sign the ketubah).
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The Veiling of the Kallah - The Badeken
Set Form – liminal The Veiling of the Kallah - The Badeken Is usually carried out immediately before the processional of the bride, groom and attendants. It takes place in another room while guests are being seated.
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The veiling of the bride
Set Form – liminal The veiling of the bride The veil symbolizes the idea of modesty and conveys the lesson that however attractive physical appearances may be, the soul and character are paramount.
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The chatan, accompanied by family and friends,
Set Form – liminal The chatan, accompanied by family and friends, proceeds to the kallah's room and places the veil over her face.
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This is an ancient custom
Set Form – liminal This is an ancient custom and serves as the first of many actions by which the groom signals his commitment to clothe and protect his wife. It is reminiscent of Rebecca covering her face before marrying Isaac.
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When the groom veils his bride
Set Form – liminal When the groom veils his bride he is saying, “I will love, cherish and respect not only the ‘you,’ which is revealed to me, but also those elements of your personality that are hidden from me.
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As I am bonding with you in marriage
Set Form – liminal As I am bonding with you in marriage I am committed to creating a space within me for the totality of your being – for all of you, all of the time.”
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When the groom veils his bride
Set Form – liminal When the groom veils his bride Her face remains veiled for the duration of the ceremony, affording her a bit of privacy at this Holy time. At this time the parents bless the bride.
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The wedding ceremony takes place under
Set Form – liminal The wedding ceremony takes place under the chuppah (canopy), a symbol of the home to be built and shared by the couple.
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It is open on all sides Set Form – liminal
just as Abraham and Sarah had their tent open all sides to welcome friends and relatives in unconditional hospitality.
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The chuppah consists of
Set Form – liminal The chuppah consists of a cloth or sheet — sometimes a tallit ("prayershawl") — stretched or supported over four poles, and is sometimes carried by attendants to the ceremony location.
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A traditional chuppah Set Form – liminal
especially within Orthodox Judaism, recommends that there be open sky exactly above the chuppah. (under the stars, as a sign of the blessing given by God to the patriarch Abraham, that his children shall be as the stars of the heavens).
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A traditional chuppah Set Form – liminal
If the wedding ceremony is held indoors in a hall, sometimes a special opening is built to be opened during the ceremony.
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In a spiritual sense Set Form – liminal
the covering of the chuppah represents the presence of God over the covenant of marriage. As a man's skull cap served as a reminder of the Creator above all, (also a symbol of separation from God), so the chuppah was erected to signify that the ceremony and institution of marriage has divine origins.
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The chatan and kallah Set Form – liminal
will wear no jewellery under the chuppah. Their mutual commitment to one another is based on who they are as people not on their respective material possessions.
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Escorting the Chatan and Kallah
Set Form – liminal Escorting the Chatan and Kallah The Chatan and Kallah are escorted from the reception room. They are escorted by two married couples (usually the parents of the Chatan and Kallah) who hold them under the hand.
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Escorting the Chatan and Kallah
Set Form – liminal Escorting the Chatan and Kallah They are there to assist the Groom and Bride, take them by the hand and give them encouragement at this critical moment in life.
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The escorts each carry a lit candle
Set Form – liminal The escorts each carry a lit candle as Jewish custom associates light with joy (Esther 8:16)
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Another explanation for this custom
Set Form – liminal Another explanation for this custom is that candles are reminiscent of the flickering light and fire which occurred at the time of the giving of the Torah - the marriage of God (the Chatan) and Israel (the Kallah) under the "Chuppah" of Mount Sinai.
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The bride and groom are escorted
Set Form – liminal The bride and groom are escorted because Adam and Eve were escorted by angels to their wedding.
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Once under the chuppah Set Form – liminal
The couple stand facing the rabbi or official conducting this part of the ceremony. Forming a square, the fathers of the couple stand on the groom’s left and the mothers on the bride’s right.
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Once under the chuppah Set Form – liminal
the Kallah (bride) circles the Chatan seven times to show this is the man she wishes to marry. There are a number of explanations for this custom.
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The number seven Set Form – liminal
corresponds with the seven times in the Tenakh where it is written “when a man takes a wife.’ Just as the world was created in seven days, the kallah is figuratively building the walls of the couple's new home.
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The action also Set Form – liminal
represents the role the wife will play in creating an all-embracing, religious warmth within the home.
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This act also recalls Set Form – liminal
the seven times Joshua circled the walls of Jericho to bring down its walls. Similarly, she circles him seven times to break down any walls that might remain between them and that she has “captured” his heart.
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Among other reasons Set Form – liminal
the circling has come to symbolize the seven expressions of betrothal between God, (the groom) and Israel, (the bride). "I will betroth thee unto Me forever. I will betroth thee unto Me in mercy, and in judgment, and in loving kindness, and in righteousness: I will betroth thee unto me in faithfulness, and you shall know God (Hosea 2:21-22)".
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This act also recalls Set Form – liminal
the seven times that the Tefillin straps are wrapped around a man's arm. Just as a man binds himself in love to God, so is his bond in love to his bride.
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The number seven represents
Set Form – liminal The number seven represents the completion of the seven day process in which earth was created. During these seven days, the earth revolved on its axis seven times. Since marriage reenacts the creative process, the Kallah's encirclement symbolises the repetition of these seven earthly rotations.
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The Betrothal Benediction – Kiddushin
Set Form – liminal The Betrothal Benediction – Kiddushin The first benediction of actual marriage ceremony is said over a cup of wine, the traditional symbol of sanctification, joy and abundance.
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This is followed by the main marriage benediction
Set Form – liminal This is followed by the main marriage benediction pronouncing the sanctity of this special moment and the holy directives from God on the sanctity and purity of a proper, holy marriage through a Chuppah and act of sanctification. The Chatan and Kallah each take a sip of wine.
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In the presence of two witnesses
Set Form – liminal In the presence of two witnesses the Chatan now places a gold ring on the Kallah's right forefinger.
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As the Chatan places the ring on her finger he says:
Set Form – liminal As the Chatan places the ring on her finger he says: " Behold, you are consecrated unto me with this ring in accordance to the Law of Moses and Israel."(The ring is later transferred to the finger usual in the country of the wedding).
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The ring Set Form – liminal
is later transferred to the finger usually used in the country of the wedding.
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In Orthodox congregations
Set Form – liminal In Orthodox congregations The groom does not receive a ring. Conservative congregations follow the Orthodox form, but it is usual for the bride at this point to give the groom a ring.
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In many reform congregations
Set Form – liminal In many reform congregations Both the bride and groom recite the English words, “With this ring I thee wed.” The words of both formulas constitutes the vows of Jewish marriage.
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The ring should be made of plain gold
Set Form – liminal The ring should be made of plain gold without blemishes or ornamentation (e.g. stones) - just as it is hoped that the marriage will be one of simple beauty. As a simple unbroken circle, it alludes to a marriage unmarred by conflict or distraction.
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Set Form – liminal The ring is a symbol of eternity.
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This act is called Kiddushin
Set Form – liminal This act is called Kiddushin - sanctification, signifying the uniqueness of the Jewish marriage where God Himself dwells in their home and the relationship is elevated to a new level of holiness - a transcendent dimension that permeates every moment of their lives from this moment on.
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The couple are now Set Form – liminal
set apart from others for each other. A lifelong commitment is implied, but Judaism does not believe that people can promise this in vows.
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The first half of the ceremony is now completed
Set Form – liminal The first half of the ceremony is now completed Next the ceremony focuses on the marriage contract or Ketubah
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As part of the wedding ceremony
Set Form – liminal As part of the wedding ceremony the husband gives the wife a ketubah (marriage contact). The "Ketubah" (literally meaning writing) is read aloud in Aramaic with an English summary. (While it is traditional to have the ketubah written in Aramaic many Orthodox Jews also have an English translation).
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In marriage, the chatan accepts upon himself
Set Form – liminal In marriage, the chatan accepts upon himself certain marital responsibilities which are detailed in the Ketubah. His principal obligations are to provide food, shelter, clothing and sexual satisfaction to his wife, and to be attentive to her emotional needs.
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The ketubah spells out Set Form – liminal
conditions of inheritance upon his death, and obligations regarding the support of children of the marriage. It also provides for the wife's support in the event of divorce.
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There are standard conditions;
Set Form – liminal There are standard conditions; however, additional conditions can be included by mutual agreement. Marriage agreements of this sort were commonplace in the ancient Semitic world and have much in common with prenuptial agreements of today.
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The document is signed by two witnesses
Set Form – liminal The document is signed by two witnesses and has the standing of a legally binding agreement. The Ketubah is the property of the kallah and she must have access to it throughout their marriage.
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It is often written amidst beautiful artwork
Set Form – liminal It is often written amidst beautiful artwork to be framed and displayed in the home.
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In the presence of two witnesses
Set Form – liminal In the presence of two witnesses The groom accepts the ketubah by taking hold of a handkerchief given to him by the officiating rabbi.
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Set Form – liminal The signed ketubah is Presented to the bride.
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In some Orthodox communities
The groom reads and agrees to the ketubah before the ceremony begins.
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In Conservative Judaism
Set Form – liminal In Conservative Judaism Both the bride and groom often sign a simple marriage certificate,
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a practice that is followed in all progressive congregations.
Set Form – liminal a practice that is followed in all progressive congregations.
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The reading of the Ketubah
Set Form – liminal The reading of the Ketubah acts as a break between the first part of the ceremony - Kiddushin (betrothal), and the latter part - Nissuin (marriage). The nissuin then proceeds.
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