1. Setting clear expectations for great outcomes during your student’s or young adult’s visit home. Deborah Gilboa, MD Parenting and Youth Development Expert Home for the Holidays www.askdoctorg.com

2. Bright Spots Reunited! - The idea of our family - Less worry?! Vacation! More sleep, less obligation, travel, visits Holidays Happiness What else?

3. Trouble Spots For young adults: Lack of structure Conflicting desires Rules Obligations Expectations SURPRISES! For parents: Still have work Stress Appearances Expectations Younger siblings What else? SURPRISES!

4. Guidelines Young adults: 1.Name goals 2.Needs 3.Hopes Parents: 1.Name goals 2.Needs 3.Hopes Reconcile! Write it down!

5. Structure & Schedules 1. Parents: name goals – What can you live with? Curfew? wake up times Help around the house Apt. vs all-inclusive resort How much time do you need? 2. YA: name goals – Activities – Friends – Sleep – Free time 3. Needs & hopes – Awake hours – Supervision req’d – Shared goals – Pick one extra each Write it down!

6. Holiday Prep 1. Parents: name goals – Errands – Cooking/Cleaning – Traditions – Gifts 2. YA: name goals – Avoid errands – Help with what? – Traditions – Gifts 3. Needs & hopes – What has to get done? – YA v adult responsibilities – New ideas – consequences Write it down!

7. Holidays & Visiting 1. Parents: name goals – How many events? – Traditions 2. YA: name goals – Avoid boredom – Activities – Traditions 3. Needs & hopes – Which events – Makes some trades! Write It Down!!!

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