2. The 3 most common phrases from teens who have unplanned pregnancy:

3. “ I don’t know what happened” #1: “ I don’t know what happened”

4. “We never talked about it”. #2: “We never talked about it”.

5. #3: Any statement involving the word “alcohol” or “drunk”. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, and makes people do things they wouldn’t do when they are sober. -Sometimes they abandon birth control or use it improperly. -Sometimes they engage in acts they didn’t plan on doing when they were sober.

6. Are You Ready? How do you know? This is a hard question, one that only you can answer. That can complicate things because you might be unsure. This lesson will help clear things up and give you some guidance…

7. Keep in mind that this is not a test that you should try to pass or try not to fail… …It is more like a list of things to consider when making this decision.

8. #1 Are you ready to be active as an individual? Only you can answer that question.

9. #2 Are you ready to be active as a couple?

10. Are you able to talk comfortably to your partner about other important relationship issues?

11. Do you feel your partner would respect any decision you made about becoming active?

12. #3 Have you addressed the issue of STD’s?

13. You need to discuss your intimacy history, not just your sexual history.

14. #4 Do you have a pregnancy prevention plan?

15. Are both partners willing to make a plan together? The more methods you perform correctly, the lower the odds of unwanted pregnancy.

16. Be sure to share responsibility for obtaining multiple methods of birth control.

17. #5 What will you do if there is an unplanned pregnancy?

18. Girls: You get to decide because it is your body and you would carry the baby or choose to end the pregnancy. Guys: You don’t really have as big of a say as you would like, and she makes the final decision. Both of you should still discuss this issue.

19. #6 Are you sure your partner wants to be with you for reasons that go beyond a physical attraction?

20. #7 Have you considered the ethical or religious aspect of this decision?

21. #8 Have you considered the emotional consequences of sexual activity? This is the most unpredictable aspect of sexual activity…you just can’t predict how you or your partner will feel after you have had sex.

22. #9 Is there pressure on either partner? There should be no pressure from either partner to become sexually active. Pressure from a partner is a clear sign of immaturity and selfishness, and neither of those are desirable qualities in a partner.

23. REFLECTION REFLECTION What does it say about your relationship if your partner doesn’t want to have these conversations with you?

24. What kinds of guidelines should you have for these conversations? Be sober. No physical contact. No distractions. Promise that this is the first of a number of conversations about your relationship. More…

25. What kinds of guidelines should you have for these conversations? Have patience. That is normal. – Uncomfortable? That is normal. Not cool. – Losing tempers? Not cool. If it happens, stop and take some space and try again some other day or reconsider your relationship. Promise to continue the dialogue. More…

26. What kinds of guidelines should you have for these conversations? Make no promises for sex after the conversation. Promise honest answers. Do not treat it like a test. Passing the test does not = sex! When in doubt, wait it out!

27. Check out this Communication Tool… http://sexetc.org/action- center/communication- tool/?type=partner&topic=communication_se x&pageNum=1 http://sexetc.org/action- center/communication- tool/?type=partner&topic=communication_se x&pageNum=1