2. Dealing with Difficult People Presented by Everett Perry

3. Morning Blues

4. Perception of Communication 55% Visual 38% Tone 7% Words

5. Repeat this sentence emphasizing one word only "I never said she stole my money"

12. Interpretation of Intent What we mean can be very different than what is received Conflict thrives in miscommunications The root of many conflicts begins with our perceptions and expectations How we interpret a response can also be born in our ability and history of reading people A person’s culture plays a critical role in understanding communication

14. “Lie To Me” The Face Tells All

16. In Which Video is He Lying?

17. Your Turn To Judge What would you do? What would you say? What is the intention of this person(s)? What is the best thing you can do?

18. What Would You Do?

21. Your Turn What would you do? What would you say? What is the intention of this person(s)? What is the best thing you can do?

22. Scenario 1

23. Scenario 2

24. Scenario 3

25. Remember It is the behavior (of the person) that is difficult not the person him/herself. …”You are somebody’s difficult person at least some of the time.”

26. Small Group Discussion Identify difficult persons you have had to work with. Do not use names! How did you feel dealing with them?  His/her effect on your business?  His/her effect on other employees?  Consequences of their behavior?

27. Five Choices When confronted with any of these difficult behaviors, you have four choices. 1. You can stay and do nothing 2. You can vote with your feet 3. You can change your attitude about your difficult person 4. You can change your behavior 5. If you have the power you can help them transition to a new future

28. The Four Intents 1. Get the TASK DONE 2. Get the TASK RIGHT 3. Get ALONG with PEOPLE 4. Get APPRECIATION from PEOPLE Which one resonates for you personally?

29. Quiz Time

30. Map your Intent Get It Done Director Get It Right Thinker Get Along Relater Get Appreciated Socializer Task Focused People Focused 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 1 2 3 4 6 7 8 9 10 AggressivePassive

31. What type are you?

32. Intentions Model Get It Done Get Appreciated Get Along Get It Right PassiveAggressive Task Focus People Focus

33. Intentions Model Get It Done Get Appreciated Get Along Get It Right PassiveAggressive Task Focus People Focus Directors Relators Thinker Socializers

34. “Get it Right People” 30% of the population are “Get it Right” love details, do not like to be wrong These people are the thinkers

35. “Get it Done People” 10% of the population are “Get it Done” Focused on task accomplishment Direct and do not appreciate lazy behaviors Fast Decision Making

36. Get Along 50% of the population are “Get Along” Little things get to these people Great listening skills

37. Get Appreciated 10 % of the population are “Get Appreciated” These people are risk takers Talkers, motivated by attention

38. Fear = Behavior Intent – Get It Done Fear - Not getting it done Behavior – more controlling Intent – Get It Right Fear – Doing it wrong Behavior – more perfectionist Intent – Get Along Fear – Being left out Behavior – more approval seeking Intent – Get Appreciated Fear – Not being appreciated Behavior – more attention getting

39. We Have To Understand The Intent Of People To Solve Conflicts

40. Listen to Understand When your problem person is talking….. Your goal: Listen to Understand. Steps 1. Blend visible and audible listening 2. Backtrack some of the person’s own words. 3. Clarify the meaning, intent, and criteria. 4. Summarize what you have heard. 5. Confirm you got it right.

41. Reach a Deeper Understanding when discussions degenerate into conflict. Identify Intent Identify Highly Valued Criteria

42. With Problem People… speak to be understood 1.Monitor the tone of your voice. 2.State the positive Intent. 3.Tactfully interrupt interruptions. 4.Tell your truth. 5.Be ready to listen. …Project and Expect the Best

43. Think Like an HR Professional

44. Job Performance Issues

45. What is the #1 Reason Employees are Terminated? Insubordination

46. Disciplinary Process AddressAddress DisciplineDiscipline RedirectRedirect RewardReward ReinforceReinforce

47. Positive Redirection AddressAddress RedirectRedirect RewardReward ReinforceReinforce ResolutionResolution

48. Negative Loop AddressAddress DisciplineDiscipline

49. Behavioral Impasse AddressAddress DisciplineDiscipline TerminationTermination

50. Negative Result AddressAddress DisciplineDiscipline RedirectRedirect RewardReward ReinforceReinforce TerminationTermination

51. Discipline With A Positive Result AddressAddress DisciplineDiscipline RedirectRedirect RewardReward ReinforceReinforce ResolutionResolution

52. Establish nature of concern Check the facts and evidence Interview all individuals involved Get written statements if necessary Consult other sources if appropriate Decide if action is justified No case – advise interested parties If there is a case - proceed to next stage Investigation of Incidents

53. Dangers of Assumptions

54. Scenario Tom is walking slowly along Tom notices there is a hole in his suit 30 seconds later Tom is Dead What Happened?

56. You have an employee that has been : Chronically late or absent for the last 4 months Does not interact with parents professionally Does not get along with other employees Has received Verbal, Written warnings for excessive tardiness and absences Now gets upset with a parent and tells the parent “Can you just shut up so that I can do my job” What Do You Do?

57. You have an employee that has been : Seen in the break room with what appears to be a bottle of alcohol A fellow employee that they saw him pouring the alcohol into a Coke bottle What Do You Do?

58. You have an employee that has been : Arguing with the you almost daily Challenging you every time you assign them work Asked to clean up a mess and they tell you to take care of it yourself they are busy When you ask them to come to your office they tell you that they have stuff to do and need to get to work What Do You Do?

59. Asking the Right Questions Get all the parties statements before making decisions Get it in writing Fan out the truth from perception Use the things you have Video, logs, alarms, phone records, email etc.

60. Affirmative Defense The organization exercised reasonable care to prevent or correct the concern and The victim unreasonably failed to utilize the preventive measures established by The organization.

61. Defenses to Claims of Discrimination There are four basic types of defenses to employment discrimination claims. Business necessity Bona fide occupational qualification Seniority Systems. After-acquired evidence of employee misconduct

62. Unemployment Knowledge Culpability Control

63. Documentation (if it is not documented it did not happen) Name of Employee Date of Incident Others Involved Discussion with Employee Action Taken Written statements from those involved

64. Meeting Preparation Choose Time/Place Carefully Refer to Organization Policies Have Documentation Available Have Witness Available when Appropriate

65. “Judge the Work, Not the Person”

66. Types of Discipline Verbal Reprimand with Summation Memo Written Reprimand Probation Recommendation Termination

67. Memo of Concern to Termination Summarize Facts of the Meeting Summarize Facts of the Meeting Write out the Plan with Directives Write out the Plan with Directives Have Employee Sign Letter Have Employee Sign Letter Write down Time and Date of a Follow- up Meeting with Employee Write down Time and Date of a Follow- up Meeting with Employee

68. Employee Meeting How not to do a termination

69. Employee Meeting Judge Performance Only Stick to the Facts Don’t Accept Excuses Remain Calm Refer to the EAP when available Deliver Directives Develop an Action Plan Together

70. Why Do We Do It That Way? People Deserve Respect Legal Issues From Wrongful Terminations Cost of Unemployment Cost to Your Organizations Reputation Staff Morale Personal Integrity

71. The Manager’s Role Deal fairly and consistently with everyone Care about people and respect them as individuals Solicit ideas and listen carefully when ideas are offered Meet regularly with employees to openly exchange information and ideas

72. The Manager’s Role Seek out development opportunities Act as you would expect your employees to act Strive for continuous improvement Believe in your team members Be willing to coach and advise

73. Give positive feedback on your employees’ performance Promote a positive and productive working environment Support team efforts The Manager’s Role

74. Summary Comments and Questions

75. RESOURCES “Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst”; by Brickman and Kirschner “The Lens of Understanding” http://www.thericks.com/dpcs/dpcs.book.chp2.ht ml http://www.thericks.com/dpcs/dpcs.book.chp2.ht ml The Connective Good http://www.theconnectivegood.com/index.php/blog/ item/21-get-along-or-get-appreciated-a-tool-for- candid-cultural-fit-conversations