1. Tonbridge Grammar School Student Well-being

2. Aims What are the causes of anxiety? How can anxiety show itself in teenagers? Who can you talk to if your daughter needs support? Proactive strategies for reducing the risk of students developing anxiety.

3. Stress Factors What caused anxiety for teenagers when we were at school? What are the causes of anxiety for today’s teenagers? How do they compare?

4. How does anxiety show itself? Unable to concentrate Has lost interest in former enjoyments Appearing not to care about their work/drop in progress Doesn't sleep or eat well Gets multiple headaches and stomach aches Wants to be alone and avoids friends and family Mood swings Worries constantly about appearance and/or physical problems Low self-esteem Depression Self-harm/eating disorders

5. What do we mean by emotionally healthy? Mental Health Foundation 1999 Bright Futures: Develop psychologically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually; Initiate, develop and sustain mutually satisfying personal relationships; Use and enjoy solitude; Become aware of others and empathise with them; Play and learn; Develop a sense of right and wrong; Resolve (face) problems and setbacks and learn from them.

6. Supporting students at TGS H&SE programme Antibullying strategy ICT Acceptable Use Policy Homework Charter Mindfulness Learning Mentor Student Manager SENCO School Nurse DCPCs For parents: http://www.tgs.kent.sch.uk /http://www.tgs.kent.sch.uk /

7. DCPCs

8. Health and Social Education at TGS Sessions on: Self-awareness Resilience E-safety Interpersonal Relationships Antibullying + Mindfulness

9. Anti-bullying strategy Three questions we must ask ourselves before we communicate: 1. Are they kind? 2. Are they necessary? 3. Are they helpful? (Displayed in classrooms and in planner - and in staff room!)

10. ICT Acceptable Use Policy + Mobile Phone Charter In planner – covered in assemblies/ICT lessons/form time

11. Realistic expectations: Teeter-Totter (see-saw) Parenting Raising the bar – gradually Growth Mindset

12. Growth Mind-set “Whenever a girl worries enough to predict failure for herself, failure becomes more likely.” Jo-Ann Deak

13. What can we do to help girls thrive and reduce the chance of anxiety? (JoAnn Deak: How Girls Thrive) www.deakgroup.com

14. 10 tips to help girls thrive (JoAnn Deak: How Girls Thrive) 1. Appreciate that: “Every interaction a child has during the course of a day influences the adult that child will become.”

15. 10 tips to help girls thrive (JoAnn Deak: How Girls Thrive) 2.Develop grit – determination/resilience/perseverance If things get difficult, don’t do it for them. Challenge barriers to achievement without offering too much sympathy which can create over reliance.

16. 10 tips to help girls thrive (JoAnn Deak: How Girls Thrive) 3. Encourage a positive mindset to difficulties – a belief that the brain can adapt and develop. "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." Winston Churchill

17. 10 tips to help girls thrive (JoAnn Deak: How Girls Thrive) 4. Embrace failure. Celebrate mistakes = opportunity to learn.

18. 10 tips to help girls thrive (JoAnn Deak: How Girls Thrive) 5. Diagnose and deal with low self-esteem by: Increasing competence/connectedness/confidence.

19. 10 tips to help girls thrive (JoAnn Deak: How Girls Thrive) 6.Guard against the ‘Tyranny of niceness’ – encourage them to stand up for themselves (in a respectful way).

20. 10 tips to help girls thrive (JoAnn Deak: How Girls Thrive) 7. Find a passion – a ‘North Star’ = stress releaser e.g. reading, horse riding.

21. 10 tips to help girls thrive (JoAnn Deak: How Girls Thrive) 8.Expand ‘social taste buds’ – change seating/speak to different people/avoid cliques.

22. 10 tips to help girls thrive (JoAnn Deak: How Girls Thrive) 9. Honour the 4 ‘M’s: Movement (exercise) Munch (Complex carbs/high protein/omega3 fats/Calcium/water) Multi-skills (learning new and different things) Music (uses all parts of the brain – useful for creativity and problem solving)

23. 10 tips to help girls thrive (JoAnn Deak: How Girls Thrive) 10. ZZZs – encourage healthy sleep patterns (brain grows and processes at night). Where’s the computer/phone?

24. Perception of our School (mumsnet discussion) The care is brilliant. I have known of a number of issues resolved very well. The student managers are super and they are responsive and understanding. One word on the pastoral care at TGS. We have found it to be wonderful. They have really looked after her this year and enabled her to overcome a couple of glitches. We have always felt they put her wellbeing first and her academic studies second. Only our experience, but couldn't be more pleased to have her there... neither could she! ​

25. What we are aiming for….. (mumsnet) “My daughter is at TGS. She has found the educational journey rewarding and thrives and enjoying all the school offers and care provided for her particular needs. She has never felt under any particular pressure. It has just been a genuinely enjoyable educational experience - and for the mother too!”