1. الخصم Q UARREL /C ONFLICT

2. L INGUISTIC D EFINITION الخصم one who quarrels

4. I NHERENT NATURE OF H UMAN B EING Does man not consider that We created him from a [mere] sperm-drop - then at once he is a clear adversary? 36:77

5. C HARACTERISTIC OF H UMAN BEINGS … And of the people is he whose speech pleases you in worldly life, and he calls Allah to witness as to what is in his heart, yet he is the fiercest of opponents. 2:204

6. C AUSES OF Q UARREL When somebody speaks against one’s desireWhen somebody’s pride is hurt, basic reason is arroganceAlways consider oneself rightConsider oneself more intellect then othersTake other decisions/advise for grantedDesire to prove oneself rightDesire to agree everyone on what you wantMaking fun of anyone

7. C ONT … Abuse someoneTaking things negatively Listening to others who tell what people have talked about him/her, in his/her absence, ins a wrong context. Don’t let others to talk and provoke them to fightInsult others To create differences among two because you don’t want to see them together because of your personal dispute Jealousy

8. W HY DOES IT HAPPEN ? Arguments Previous abuse Uncontrolled emotions Lack of skills and knowledge Poor modeling- home, TV, streets, school Support for violence Access to weapons Drugs, alcohol

9. D ISAVANTAGES OF C ONFLICT Time consuming Disrupts progress/ problem solving Detracts from job at hand Keeps people apart; if unresolved Poor quality, lowers productivity Reduces team effectiveness

10. T HE ONE A LLAH H ATES THE MOST …

11. S OURCES OF C ONFLICT Mishandling conflict in the past Hidden agenda Revenge Fighting the “last war” Fear Dishonesty Boundaries Negligence Need to be right Miscommunication

12. العضه – WHAT IS

14. C ONFLICT S TYLES Competing (Win/Lose) My way Collaborating (Win/Win) Our way Avoiding (Lose/Lose) No Way Accommodating (Lose/Win) Your way Compromising (Partial Lose/Lost) “Half Way” High Concern for Self HighLow Concern for Others

15. C ONFLICT S TYLES Avoiding (Lose – Lose) o When people nonassertively ignore or stay away from conflict o Avoidance reflects a pessimistic attitude about conflict under the belief that there is no good way to solve the problem at hand o Avoiding often results in lose – lose outcomes in which none of the parties get what they want

16. C ONFLICT S TYLES Accommodating (Lose – Win) o Occurs when you allow others to have their way rather than asserting your point of view o If accommodation is a genuine act of kindness, generosity, or love, then chances are good that it will enhance the relationship o People from high-context, collectivist backgrounds are likely to regard avoidance and accommodating as face-saving

17. C ONFLICT S TYLES Competing (Win-Lose) o Occurs when there is a high level of self concern and a low level of concern for others o Direct Aggression When a communicator expresses a criticism or demand that threatens the face of another o Passive Aggression Occurs when a communicator expresses hostility in an obscure or manipulative way

18. C ONFLICT S TYLES Compromising (Partial Lose – Lose) o Gives both parties some of what they want although both sacrifice part of their goals o Compromising actually negotiates a solution where both lose something o Some compromises do leave both parties satisfied o When compromises are satisfying and successful, they’re probably collaborations

19. C ONFLICT S TYLES Collaborating (Win – Win) o Shows a high degree of concern for themselves as well as others o The goal of collaboration is to find a solution that satisfies the needs of everyone involved o Collaboration gives you a way of creatively finding just the right answer for your unique problem

20. C ONFLICT S TYLES Which Style to Use o Some issues to consider when deciding which style to use: The relationship The situation The other person Your goals

23. S EVERITY OF A BUSING A M USLIM …

24. G ET C LOSER TO A LLAH …

25. W ORST A MONGST P EOPLE …

27. A NOTHER EXAMPLE Man who Abused Abu Bakar (RA)

28. In the light Quran and Hadith

29. STOP assuming that your truth is THE truth. What is true for you is not necessarily true for another.¡

30. STOP insisting that other people must agree with you. Disagreement is okay. Don’t “cross-examine” people.

31. STOP unconsciously assuming that anyone else will see it the way you see it. Always check it out.

32. STOP invalidating other people’s experience just because it doesn’t agree with your experience.

33. STOP blaming anyone else for how you feel or what happens to you. Take full responsibility for yourself.

34. H IGHEST LEVELS OF J ANNAH !

35. L EADING TO J ANNAH VS. H ELL F IRE

37. J ANNAH G UARANTEED ?

38. F EW T IPS because we would be accountable of every word we delivered through our tongue at the Day of Judgment Control our tongue the more you respond the more the quarrel will get prolonged and critical. Don’t respond to your opponent while quarrelingBe patient

39. T HINGS TO DO Don’t let people to manipulate you, best action is to ignore for the sake of Allah and do Sabr Accept your mistakes Try to give up quarrel as Prophet PBUH have assured of a home in Jannah for this action Don’t lie

40. C ONT.. Have a big heartDon’t tell people what others say and think about themTry to figure out things in an Ahsan manner If you don’t like someone you don’t have right to manipulate others so that they quarrel with that person and also stop taking to him

41. C ONT.. Don’t take things negatively, always try to seek a positive perspective from every thing Always keep your voice lower while clearing things Give value to others advise and decisionsDon’t make fun of people

43. C IRCULAR E NERGY F LOW A communication technique to maintain safe space in conflict resolution is the circular energy flow. ListenClarifyAssessSpeak