1. Social Psychology Interpersonal Attraction & Relationships

2. Affiliation: Early Attachment Attachment – relationship with caregiver  Two way process  Security & information for infant 1. Secure  parent available & responsive 2. Avoidant  parent unresponsive & rejecting 3. Anxious-Ambivalent  Parent is anxious & inconsistent

3. Lab Affiliation for Fear Reduction Fear reduction (Schachter, 1959)  Women invited to lab  Told they would receive shocks  High Fear vs. Low Fear

4. Why Affiliate When Afraid? Distraction hypothesis  Affiliate to take mind off problems  Anyone will do Social comparison theory  Want to compare feelings with others  Others in similar situation are best Social comparison appears to be more important  Women wanted to wait with others anticipating shock  Patients prefer someone who has had surgery than those anticipating it

5. What do Relationships do for us? Attachment – security & comfort Social integration – shared interests & attitudes Reassurance of worth – support as competent and valued Sense of reliable alliance - help Guidance – advice and information Opportunity for nurturance – responsible for other, feel needed

6. Principles of Attraction Association  Background music Reinforcement  Flattery vs. critical Social exchange  Cost benefit analysis

7. Who do we like? Anderson (1968) – 555 adjectives  Sincere vs. phony Warmth Competence Physical Attractiveness

8. Similarity “Birds of a feather flock together” Newcomb – college students Phantom-other technique Type of similarity matters Matching principle

9. Why do we like similarity? Rewarding  Everybody agrees  Share interests Cognitive dissonance  Seek balanced attitudes  Seek those who give balance Seek abstract ideals  Deal with reality

10. Where does it come from? Selective attraction  Screening Social influence  Persuade each other Environmental factors  Pick similar situations

11. When we don’t like similarity Similarity as threat  Phantom-other technique  Emotionally disturbed or normal Differences rewarding  No clones  Requires safety  Allows experts

12. Why is proximity important? Familiarity Similarity Availability Cognitive Consistency

13. Love & Liking Is love intense liking? Which reflect love and which reflect liking  Idealization  Trust  Sharing emotions  Believing someone is intelligent  Tolerating other’s faults

14. Thoughts of Love Attachment  Dependence on other Caring  Promote other’s welfare  Responsive to other’s needs Trust  Self disclosure

15. The Power of Thought Secret relationships Defying expectations

16. Behaviors of Love Saying “I love you” and verbal affection Physical expressions of love (hugging) Verbal self-disclosure Communicating nonverbally Material signs of love (presents) Nonmaterial love (interest, respect) Willingness to tolerate other and sacrifice for relationship

17. Feelings of Love How do people feel when in love?  Sense of well being (79%)  Trouble concentrating (37%)  Floating on a cloud (29%)  Wanting to run, jump, scream (22%)  Feeling nervous before dates (22%)  Feeling giddy and carefree (20%)

18. Loneliness Loneliness: subjective discomfort Aloneness: objective state ¼ people lonely in last two weeks Situational vs. Chronic Emotional vs. Social

19. Who becomes lonely? Childhood experiences Marriage Wealth Age Personality  Introverted/ shy  More self conscious  Less assertive