1. HAVING THE CONVERSATION/S www.finity.org.uk Finity – our Context Barriers to Communication A Conversation Framework “Stroking” the Individual

3. BARRIERS TO COMMUNICATION www.finity.org.uk I don’t like authority figures I hate breaking bad news I’m scared of what she might say I’m scared of his reactions She looks just like my step-Mum How can I deal with this in 10 minutes?

4. BARRIERS TO COMMUNICATION www.finity.org.uk I don’t like authority figures I hate breaking bad news I’m scared of what she might say I’m scared of his reactions She looks just like my step-Mum How can I deal with this in 10 minutes? Fear, Assumptions, Previous Experiences

5. www.finity.org.uk I can trust this professional I’m good at breaking news Knowledge is better than ignorance There’s a team to support him I’m talking with a unique individual He is my only focus for these 10 minutes Changing the “tape” in your head can help!

6. CONTENT CONTRACT PROCESS CONTEXT A CONVERSATION FRAMEWORK www.finity.org.uk

7. CONTEXT Marked deterioration of chronic illness Diagnosis of terminal illness Aging parents A CONVERSATION FRAMEWORK Increasing frailty www.finity.org.uk

8. OBSERVABLE FACTS Neutral ground - age, dependents, circumstance PRACTICAL ISSUES care options, wills, guardians, funeral wishes FEELINGS fear, sadness, anger and joy MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING Support and empathy CONTENT CONTEXT Marked deterioration of chronic illness Diagnosis of terminal illness Aging parents A CONVERSATION FRAMEWORK Increasing frailty www.finity.org.uk

9. SAFE ENOUGH time, place, information and person FRAMES OF REFERENCE personal history, cultural and family “givens” BEING ‘PRESENT’ Concentrate, listen and engage OBSERVABLE FACTS Neutral ground - age, dependents, circumstance PRACTICAL ISSUES care options, wills, guardians, funeral wishes FEELINGS fear, sadness, anger and joy MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING Support and empathy CONTENT PROCESS CONTEXT Marked deterioration of chronic illness Diagnosis of terminal illness Aging parents A CONVERSATION FRAMEWORK Increasing frailty www.finity.org.uk

10. SAFE ENOUGH time, place, information and person FRAMES OF REFERENCE personal history, cultural and family “givens” BEING ‘PRESENT’ Concentrate, listen and engage OBSERVABLE FACTS Neutral ground - age, dependents, circumstance PRACTICAL ISSUES care options, wills, guardians, funeral wishes FEELINGS fear, sadness, anger and joy MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING Support and empathy CONTENT PROCESS CONTEXT Marked deterioration of chronic illness Diagnosis of terminal illness Aging parents A CONVERSATION FRAMEWORK Increasing frailty www.finity.org.uk WHAT - to talk about WHY – it matters WHO – we are for each other MY NEEDS & YOUR NEEDS – in this conversation CONTRACT

11. WHAT - to talk about WHY – it matters WHO – we are for each other MY NEEDS & YOUR NEEDS – in this conversation SAFE ENOUGH time, place, information and person FRAMES OF REFERENCE personal history, cultural and family “givens” BEING ‘PRESENT’ Concentrate, listen and engage OBSERVABLE FACTS Neutral ground - age, dependents, circumstance PRACTICAL ISSUES care options, wills, guardians, funeral wishes FEELINGS fear, sadness, anger and joy MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING Support and empathy CONTENT PROCESS CONTEXT Marked deterioration of chronic illness Diagnosis of terminal illness Aging parents A CONVERSATION FRAMEWORK Increasing frailty www.finity.org.uk

12. “Stroking” the Individual Supports the Process of Conversation www.finity.org.uk BeingUnconditional DoingConditional