1. The freedom of simplicity From exhausted to energised: looking at time From isolated to connected: looking at friendship From stuck to moving on: looking at the seasons of life From restless to fulfilled: looking at work

2. What is friendship? To know and be known To be accepted and to accept – no masks To love one another – despite our quirkiness To serve one another – practical stuff To celebrate together

3. Proverbs 13:20 (NIV) Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. (Message) Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.

4. Jesus’ friendships The crowds… The 72: his ministry gang The 12: hand picked friends The 3: Peter, James & John The other 3: Martha, Mary & Lazarus

5. Who do we bring close to our heart? Proverbs 6:16 There are six things the L ORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

6. 1.Pride: haughty eyes Looking down on others. Arrogance is corrosive. 2.Dishonesty: a lying tongue Blatant lying. Also fudging, white lies, omission. 3. Mean spiritedness: hands that shed innocent blood Manipulators, oppressors, bullies.

7. 4 & 5 Those looking for trouble: devising wicked schemes; running into wickedness. Lacking integrity. 6.Spreading gossip: a false witness. Tearing others down. 7. Divisive: stirring up conflict. Bridge builders or bomb throwers?

8. The welcome signs… Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. Gal 5:22

9. Levels of friendship Circumstantial friends People at the gym, work, pub. Love them, invite them to church, they matter. If we think of them as true friends we may be disappointed.

10. True friend for a season – our 12 Deep connection – but for a time. As friendships are moving on: Let people go slowly & sensitively. End well. Keep doors open. Don’t avoid or judge!

11. As God brings new people alongside us: Take small steps - invest time Create shared experiences Wait for the volley Take off your mask first In a crisis - show up!

12. Lifelong friends – our 3 Generous gift from God

13. Remember to keep one hand in and one hand out

14. When it goes wrong…

15. On the cross Jesus showed us radical forgiveness. His prayer… Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. Luke 23:34 Impact of radical forgiveness… Surely this man was the Son of God! Mark 15:39

16. Minor offences A road bump. Puts us in poor me mode. Need to put ourselves in their shoes. 1 Cor 13:5 (love…) does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

17. Let it go… A heart full of God’s spirit builds resilience in us: don’t play victim don’t stand on our rights don’t justify allow the Holy Spirit to whisper

18. Legitimate wound More complex. Needs resolution and healing. This will happen to all of us sooner or later. What should we do? Gut instinct – revenge. Problem – never gives real satisfaction.

19. We need to come to terms with what has happened. Then look to God for help to forgive. Full acknowledgement of the wrong done. Grieve over what has been lost. Then let the other person go.

20. We release them not for their sake but for ours. Revenge never brings peace; forgiveness ALWAYS does. Revenge keeps us a slave; forgiveness ALWAYS sets us free.

21. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honour. James 3:18 Go – you initiate Go alone – talk directly Go to reconcile – aim for a win Go now – don’t leave things to fester Let it go – knowing you’ve done everything you can

22. Radical forgiveness is powerful Begins as we experience the forgiveness of our own sin. Let us be a people of radical forgiveness.