1. Teresa Argo Boatman For GRASP – Oct 21, 2013

2. Living with Intensity, Daniels and Piechowski

3.  Overexcitabilities ◦ An intense interaction with the world in five different areas – Psychomotor, Intellectual, Sensual, Imaginational, Emotional ◦ Impact intake of information from the world and what is given back to differing situations

4. ◦ Organic surplus of energy ◦ Augmented capacity for being active and energetic, love of movement ◦ Heightened excitability of the neuromuscular system, expressed as movement ◦ Restlessness and nervous habits (tics, nail biting) ◦ Compulsive talking and chattering ◦ Pressure for action ◦ Rapid speech

5. ◦ Allow for movement during activities, dinner, family time ◦ Movement can be really important for many kids during homework time – exercise balls, pacing ◦ Development of space in house that works to ‘stretch out the kinks’ ◦ Do not remove recess for any reason – work with teacher ◦ Encourage exercise at home before coming to school for the day ◦ Fidgets and chewing allowed ◦ What is your tolerance for movement in your house?

6. ◦ Avid search for truth and knowledge ◦ Discovery, questioning, and always asking probing questions ◦ Love of ideas and theoretical analysis, moral thinking, intuitive integration of ideas ◦ Capacity for sustained intellectual effort ◦ Intense concentration and curiosity ◦ Highly introspective

7. ◦ Some opportunity for extended work time on independent projects each week – allow for diving deep ◦ Warning system of transitions from activity to activity – touch may need to be part of it ◦ Understanding of absentminded professor syndrome ◦ System for communicating “deep questions” that can be used so does not disrupt your needs for sleep, new activity, etc.

8. ◦ Heightened sensory pleasure and over responsiveness: Seeing, Smelling, Tasting, Touching, Hearing ◦ Enhanced aliveness of sensual experiences ◦ Expression of emotional tension through: overeating, sensory seeking, wanting to be in limelight ◦ Aesthetic pleasures

9. ◦ Lighting addressed in room and spaces ◦ Sound issues identified and addressed as necessary – allow child to use earplugs during work time or dampen sounds for maximum work efficiency ◦ Provide teachers information about OE so they can understand food and clothing issues, heightened responsiveness ◦ Work on personal space and boundary issues as necessary ◦ Look at reactivity to situations for the possible sensory stimulus ◦ Find activities that can “be on stage”

10. ◦ Frequent use of image and metaphor ◦ Vividness of imagery and richness of association ◦ Liking for the unusual ◦ Facility for dreams, fantasies, and inventions ◦ Mixing truth and fiction due to fantasy life ◦ Spontaneous imagery and expression ◦ Detailed visual recall

11. ◦ Be prepared for anxiety response to those situations which can be imagined to be scary ◦ Be sensitive to movies which depict evil ◦ Alternate indoor recess option if a movie is shown in your school ◦ Feed Imagination through art, poetry, and opportunity for fictional work through assignments ◦ Defining difference between real and imaginary world ◦ Help them see the worst, best and most likely in those imaginary/scary situations

12. ◦ Intensity of emotional life, intense positive and negative feelings ◦ Somatic expression of emotions (tense stomach, blushing, pounding heart) ◦ Strong emotional ties and attachments ◦ Compassion and empathy for others feelings ◦ Heightened sense of responsibility ◦ Scrupulous self-examination and self-judgment ◦ Fears and anxieties / Feelings of guilt

13. ◦ Prepare teacher for emotional responsiveness of your child ◦ Environment which supports sensitivity rather than makes it a negative (especially highly sensitive boys) ◦ Opportunity for children to communicate emotional intensity without your need to solve the problem ◦ Teach and use stress management techniques ◦ Teach ways to step out of emotionally charged situations ◦ Allow for relaxation time during the day

14. ◦ Distinguish between excellence and perfection within your child’s work ◦ Reward work effort rather than outcome as much as possible ◦ Teach choices of 100% and 90% goals and what leads to 50% outcomes ◦ Help child understand the difference between what they see in their head as a possible outcome and what their body and time can actually do ◦ Teach them to be comfortable with starting (writing, new projects, new sports) without a clear path to follow

16.  What to do when Good Enough isn’t Good Enough  Moving Past Perfect

17. ◦ Work toward the gray in ideas, concepts, and rules ◦ Distinguish tattling from telling ◦ Discussion on absolute truth – where do we find something that is absolutely true ◦ Identify needs of others – Do people need to know when they have made a mistake and are wrong? ◦ How do we correct others gently and with respect ◦ Smartyrdom – The ability to let someone else win an argument even when you know you're correct

19. ◦ Acceptance of intensity of others within the their friendship sphere ◦ Acceptance of one or two friends as adequate and reasonable ◦ Identification of different friends for different reasons ◦ Find at least one other kid who thinks your kid is awesome ◦ Look toward interests and maybe classes in strength area

20. ◦ Gifted students may define fun in a wide variety of ways – political debates not uncommon, competitiveness can be difficult to control, idea development is particularly fun ◦ Encourage students to take risks in areas of fun – sometimes anxiety gets in the way of trying new things ◦ Encourage trying other areas even if not highly skilled ◦ Introverted perfectionists probably gravitate toward individual sports

21. ◦ Gifted children have not always been in situation where their perception is that they are accepted or connected or their particular skills are valued ◦ May feel the need to “sell” others on their skill sets and what they know because they feel like an imposter in the group ◦ Reassure acceptance of strengths and weaknesses and that different types of skills and strengths are the norm

22.  Parenting is not for wimps  Look at this whole process as a marathon, not a sprint  Control your own intensity and anxiety as much as possible  Allow for failure and sometimes set your child up for those frustration experiences  Don’t let the “gifted” get in the way of the “child”  Remember, there are many do overs in parenting and life