1. Monday 08/10 Take out the hard copy of your narrative rough draft and leave it on your desk. After you come back with your portfolio, work quietly on the narrative workshop. This is not a time to talk with your neighbor! If you do not have your typed paragraphs, get a laptop and work on this during class.

2. Personal Narrative: Show and Tell Workshop 1. Make a key at the top of your hardcopy: Green= Telling (abstract ideas, green words) Pink= Showing (sensory details, active verbs, dialogue, etc.) 2.As you go through the draft, highlight sentences that tell in GREEN. Circle any Green Words. 3.Highlight phrases/sentences that show in PINK.

3. Showing vs. Telling Remember: – Telling: Abstract ideas like embarrassed, nervous, upset, scared, love, etc. Telling about an idea/feeling rather than showing the example like a story. (ex. I was scared when my mom caught me sneaking into my house after curfew.) – Showing: Paints a picture of what those abstract ideas look like Clear, concrete pictures With my heart pounding so hard I felt each drum-like beat in my throat, I edged up the stairs with the careful precision of a tightrope walker.

4. Green Word Ideas On the back of your rough draft, complete 1-6: 1.List possible Green Words that you feel are implied based on the narrative descriptions of the specific event/memory. 2.With 3-4 of the Green Words explicitly and implicitly stated in your narrative, create an “although” thesis statement, which will be the first sentence of your conclusion section. Example: Although the death of my grandmother brought me immense pain, I believe her death taught me to value family and rely on the strength they provide in times of struggle.

5. Building Concrete Details 3. What is the weakest section in the narrative? Draw brackets around the sentences/sections to refer back to. Make specific suggestions for improvement. (stronger verbs, sentence structure, figurative language, word choice, etc) 4. Underline your favorite sentences in the narrative. Explain their appeal to the audience. 5. Star and label sections that have strong examples of rhetorical devices (ethos, logos, pathos). What is the overall effect on the audience with its/their use? 6. List further suggestions in developing the narrative.

6. Now, revise… Your narrative should have more pink than green. How can you re-work your narrative to pull the audience in with stronger concrete (showing) details? Use the rest of class to revise your narrative paragraphs for the rough draft of your essay (due Wednesday).