1. Courage-ous Parenting!!! Herky Cutler February 28, 2011

2. Using the Webinar Tool To ask a question, click the Chat button from the right sidebar. Type your question in the text box, select a recipient and then click Send. This webinar will be recorded. If you lose your internet connection reconnect using the link emailed to you. If you lose your phone connection, redial the phone number, which appears under the Info tab, and re-join.

3. Herky Cutler B. ED., M.A., CCDP President/Foothills Youth & Family Services – Pincher Creek, AB Organizational and Educational Consultant Professional Speaker Trainer/Facilitator Entertainer Your photo

4. Workshop Assumptions There is no such thing as a Generation Gap! Lack of self-esteem is at the core of any dysfunctional behavior! The best way to be a good parent is to be a good role model!

5. Workshop Objectives To de-bunk the Generation Gap myth! To establish self esteem as the core of parenting issues To explore current parenting issues To apply the Circle of Courage Model to parenting adolescents

6. Is There A Generation Gap???  What was one of your best experiences as an adolescent?  What was one of your worst?  What were your feelings during those times?  Now think about your teenage children or adolescents that you work with or children of the parents you work with.  What are their best and worst experiences so far in their lives?  What feelings do they have associated with these?

7. Is There A Generation Gap??? Context Gangs Drugs and alcohol Violence Peer pressure School/career pressure Bullying Dysfunctional families Class valedictorian Star athlete Early pregnancy Feelings Aggressive Frustrated Horrified Hurt Anxious Angry Sad Satisfied Determined Regretful

8. Parenting Issues Anger Dealing with guilt Blended families Dysfunctional families Communication skills Enabling Power struggles Time High/low expectations Follow through United parenting Motivation Peer pressure Setting limits Tough love Money

9. Self Esteem Anger Guilt Power struggles Money problems Enabling

10. The Circle of Courage

16. Belonging Normal 1.Attached 2.Loving 3.Friendly 4.Intimate 5.Gregarious 6.Cooperative 7.Trusting Distorted 1.Gang Loyalty 2.Craves affection 3. Craves acceptance 4.Promiscuous 5.Clinging 6.Cult-vulnerable 7.Overly dependent Absent 1.Unattached 2.Guarded 3.Rejected 4.Lonely 5.Aloof 6.Isolated 7.Distrustful

17. Generosity Normal 1.Altruistic 2.Caring 3.Sharing 4.Loyal 5.Empathic 6.Pro-social 7.Supportive Distorted 1.Noblesse Oblige 2.Over-involved 3.Plays martyr 4.Co-dependency 5.Over-involvement 6.Servitude 7.Bondage Absent 1.Selfish 2.Affectionless 3.Narcissistic 4.Disloyal 5.Hardened 6.Anti Social 7.Exploitative

18. Independence Normal 1.Autonomous 2.Confident 3.Assertive 4.Responsible 5.Inner control 6.Self discipline 7.Leadership Distorted 1.Dictatorial 2.Reckless/Macho 3.Bullies others 4.Sexual prowess 5.Manipulative 6.Rebellious 7.Defies authority Absent 1.Submissive 2.Lacks confidence 3.Inferiority 4.Irresponsible 5.Helplessness 6.Undisciplined 7.Easily led

19. Mastery Normal 1.Achiever 2.Successful 3.Creative 4.Problem solver 5.Motivated 6.Persistent 7.Competent Distorted 1.Overachiever 2.Arrogant 3.Risk seeker 4.Cheater 5.Workaholic 6.Perseverative 7.Delinquent skill Absent 1.Non-achiever 2.Failure orientated 3.Avoids risks 4.Fears challenges 5.Unmotivated 6.Gives up easily 7.Inadequate

20. Belonging Normal 1.Attached 2.Loving 3.Friendly 4.Intimate 5.Gregarious 6.Cooperative 7.Trusting Distorted 1.Gang Loyalty 2.Craves affection 3. Craves acceptance 4.Promiscuous 5.Clinging 6.Cult-vulnerable 7.Overly dependent Absent 1.Unattached 2.Guarded 3.Rejected 4.Lonely 5.Aloof 6.Isolated 7.Distrustful

21. Generosity Normal 1.Altruistic 2.Caring 3.Sharing 4.Loyal 5.Empathic 6.Pro-social 7.Supportive Distorted 1.Noblesse Oblige 2.Over-involved 3.Plays martyr 4.Co-dependency 5.Over-involvement 6.Servitude 7.Bondage Absent 1.Selfish 2.Affectionless 3.Narcissistic 4.Disloyal 5.Hardened 6.Anti Social 7.Exploitative

22. Independence Normal 1.Autonomous 2.Confident 3.Assertive 4.Responsible 5.Inner control 6.Self discipline 7.Leadership Distorted 1.Dictatorial 2.Reckless/Macho 3.Bullies others 4.Sexual prowess 5.Manipulative 6.Rebellious 7.Defies authority Absent 1.Submissive 2.Lacks confidence 3.Inferiority 4.Irresponsible 5.Helplessness 6.Undisciplined 7.Easily led

23. Mastery Normal 1.Achiever 2.Successful 3.Creative 4.Problem solver 5.Motivated 6.Persistent 7.Competent Distorted 1.Overachiever 2.Arrogant 3.Risk seeker 4.Cheater 5.Workaholic 6.Perseverative 7.Delinquent skill Absent 1.Non-achiever 2.Failure orientated 3.Avoids risks 4.Fears challenges 5.Unmotivated 6.Gives up easily 7.Inadequate

24. Action!!! Create a profile (N=7, D=5, A=16) Verify profile (1 or 2 other opinions) These are “points of intervention” Getting the child to “normal” is the goal Brainstorming solutions for each component Take action!!! Self esteem is the key! Be Courage-ous!!!

25. Contact Information www.herkycutler.com herkycutler@gmail.com 403-627-5044