1. CM 220:Composition II Writing the draft Introductions Conclusions Transitions Peer reviewing

2. On today’s agenda: How do I create a draft of my essay based on the feedback I have received so far? How do I strengthen my thesis statement? How do I write effective introductions and conclusions? Next week: Writing effective peer reviews

3. Assignments for unit 6 For this week’s discussion, post introduction and conclusion paragraphs for your draft AND explain why you chose the techniques you did. Write a 5-7 page draft of your persuasive essay and post it in the unit 6 drop box by the end of the unit. Read the instructions for the peer review (to be completed in unit 7) in the “Peer Review Sign-Up” section of unit 6. Instructors determine different arrangements for the peer review, so be sure to find out what your instructor’s guidelines are. A key reminder, though: you need to complete a draft to participate!

4. Review the feedback you received on the units 3 and 4 projects and in the discussion threads for units 2, 3, and 5. Use the suggestions to develop your rough draft. You must include at least three sources in this draft (in the text itself, not simply on the References page), one of which must be an academic source from Kaplan's library. Be sure that you follow the guidelines for paraphrasing, quoting, and citing (as well as formatting) that we discussed in units 4 and 5! What are the requirements for the draft?

5. Requirements for draft... Your draft must be at least 5-7 pages long (not including the title page and References page) and contain an introduction and conclusion. Make certain that your introduction includes your thesis statement. Make sure your paper is persuasive in nature, not informative. While you will be providing information to your readers about your topic, the overall emphasis of the paper should be persuading your audience to agree with a particular position.

6. Step 1: Review the “big picture” This essay will be persuasive, not informative. The essay must have a solid thesis statement that expresses the main argument you are making in your essay. Each body paragraph has three parts: a topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a closing sentence that wraps up the paragraph.

7. A persuasive thesis should... Take a position about which reasonable people could disagree Deal with a subject that can be adequately treated given the nature of the assignment (in our case, an 8-10 page paper) Express one main idea Assert your conclusions about a subject Contain words like "because," "since," "so," "although," "unless," and "however."

8. Informative vs. persuasive thesis Informative: Three ways the government responded to the health risks of cigarette smoking are label warnings, advertising bans, and access restriction. Persuasive thesis: Exposure to cigarette smoke is a public health risk. Therefore, smoking should be banned in all public places, nation-wide.

9. Topic sentences Don’t "announce" your topic. Example of a weak topic sentence: Here are three ideas for finding a job in today’s market. Make sure the topic sentence connects to your thesis statement. Be specific. Broad topic sentences cannot be addressed in a paragraph. Have one main idea in your topic sentence. This will ensure that your paragraph is cohesive. Make your topic sentence something that needs to be proven to the reader. What evidence will you need to provide in your paragraph to convince the reader of the idea in your topic sentence? Assert an opinion and have an “angle.” Example of a strong topic sentence: Searching for a job has become more complicated in today’s market due to the increasing number of job search sites on the web.

10. Step 2: Review and prepare Review previous unit discussions and seminars, particularly on issues like APA citation, paraphrasing, and creating a thesis. The KU Handbook for Writers, 2 nd edition: writing persuasive essays (pp. 119-133), how to write a strong paragraph (pp. 44-52) and introductions and conclusions (pp. 52-58). The Kaplan Guide to Successful Writing: ch. 14 on essay development Review Writing Center library handouts on areas of concern.

11. Links to helpful WC workshops Audience and Purpose http://khe2.acrobat.com/p19397839/?launcher=false&fcs Content=true&pbMode=normal http://khe2.acrobat.com/p19397839/?launcher=false&fcs Content=true&pbMode=normal How to Flesh Out and Develop Your Ideas http://khe2.acrobat.com/p35695303/?launcher=false&fcs Content=true&pbMode=normal http://khe2.acrobat.com/p35695303/?launcher=false&fcs Content=true&pbMode=normal Creating Strong Body Paragraphs http://khe2.acrobat.com/p75782349/?launcher=false&fcs Content=true&pbMode=normal http://khe2.acrobat.com/p75782349/?launcher=false&fcs Content=true&pbMode=normal

12. Links to helpful WC workshops Writing Effective Introductions and Conclusions http://khe2.acrobat.com/p44415570/?launcher=false&fcs Content=true&pbMode=normal http://khe2.acrobat.com/p44415570/?launcher=false&fcs Content=true&pbMode=normal Developing Body Paragraphs http://khe2.acrobat.com/p75782349/?launcher=false&fcs Content=true&pbMode=normal http://khe2.acrobat.com/p75782349/?launcher=false&fcs Content=true&pbMode=normal Integrating Sources into Your Writing https://kucampus.kaplan.edu/DocumentStore/Docs10/p df/WC/IntegratingSources_v3Archive_Nov2010.pdf https://kucampus.kaplan.edu/DocumentStore/Docs10/p df/WC/IntegratingSources_v3Archive_Nov2010.pdf

13. Step 3: Getting started One Reading link for this week is called “Getting Started on a Draft: Cures for Writer’s Block.” In this Reading document, many ideas appear that can help students as they begin writing the draft. The next few slides—with apologies—contain some “do not” rules for drafting as discussed in the “Getting Started...” link. These rules are very important and deal with the writing process.

14. In other words, do not do the bulk of your research while you are drafting. Research is a separate step and should be completed before drafting. Hopefully, you have already completed most of the research you need to write the draft. However, you may need to hunt for additional support for your claims while drafting. Step 4: Do not mix up steps in the process: research is not drafting.

15. Step 5: Do not mix up steps in the process: thesis construction is not drafting. You should have your thesis with your main idea in place for the draft. You may change the thesis as you draft if your position or main supporting reason change. If you do not have a persuasive thesis e-mail me with specific questions! Be sure to review the feedback I gave you on the units 3 and 4 projects (those projects and the unit 5 DB should have some of the main ideas you plan to use to support your thesis).

16. Step 6: Do not mix up steps in the process: revising sentences and paragraphs is not drafting. * “Do not write a sentence and then revise it before writing the next sentence. This is the least efficient way to draft.” * Why? You are spending time revising sentences that you may later delete. It's wasted energy. Write first, then go back and revise and edit. However, you will want to edit for careless errors before posting the draft to the dropbox, and you do want to make sure that your citations are done correctly.

17. Step 7: Write body paragraphs first. Consider the purpose of the introduction and conclusion. As the writer, shouldn’t you “meet” the body of your paper before you introduce it to someone else or make conclusions about it? This “body-paragraphs-first” technique can help you write a stronger introduction and conclusions.

18. Step 8: Budget your time! Decide before you sit down to write what you wish to accomplish during that writing session. Will you complete one body paragraph? Will you work on a first draft of the entire body? Here’s the bottom line: We all know we make time for the things that are important to us. This draft is important. Staying focused on the course is important. The success achieved from doing both is important!

19. Step 9: Write the introduction and conclusion Consider that each of these paragraphs has three functions. In brief, the functions are as follows: * Introduction: Engage attention, provide background and definition of topic, and state thesis (usually in a single sentence at the very end of the paragraph). * Conclusion: Restate your main idea (although it should not be word-for word the same thesis sentence in your introduction), wrap up major ideas, and close the essay while keeping the reader engaged.

20. What to avoid in introductions What to avoidExample Truisms, platitudes, and obvious statements. “Truisms” are claims that are so commonplace and obvious that they are not worth mentioning. “A little knowledge can go a long way” “Children are the hope of the future” “Go with the flow.” Complaining and personal apologies to instructor “I had a really hard time deciding what to write about” Dictionary definitionsAccording to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, alternative medicine is “any various system of healing or treating disease that is not included in traditional medical curricula.”

21. What to avoid in introductions What to avoidExamples Widely known factsNo Child Left Behind became a law in 2001. “I believe” and “I think” statements as well as other uses of first person “I think No Child Left Behind has failed to achieve its goals.” “We need to improve our country’s educational system.” Second person (you)You should recognize the signs of bullying so that your child will not be a victim or a perpetrator. AnnouncingThis paper will be about... Overly outrageous statements“Children should never be allowed to use the internet because this will protect them from predators.”

22. Introductions: What should they do? “Set the stage” for the rest of the essay Provide relevant background information Engage and interest the reader—this is the “hook”! Set the appropriate tone Establish the focus and purpose of the essay (the thesis statement)

23. Establish the issue In the last decade or so, American culture has become increasingly tolerant of teenage sexuality. Many parents, too busy in their lives, are not proactive in educating their teens on issues related to sexuality. Educators are often left with the role of providing basic information about the subject even as more and more sexual education classes are cut from the curriculum. Where does this leave curious teens? Statistics show that 75 percent of teens have had sex by the time they are nineteen years old. The teenage birth rate continues to climb as do reported cases of sexually transmitted diseases (Healy, 2008). Cleary, it is imperative to develop intervention programs that teach adolescents the effective skills in delaying early sexual behaviors. Early education on delaying sexual activity for teens can drastically decrease teenage pregnancies, prevent the spread of STDs, and help teens to make the right choices that can impact the rest of their lives.

24. Pose questions/use example Can a person’s life change dramatically in a matter of twenty-four hours? One day a person has a certain kind of life – a home, nearby schools for your kids, a wonderful neighborhood, good job, friends – and the next day it may all be gone, irreversibly changed. As a resident of New Orleans, Louisiana, Jean had always known that a major hurricane could strike, but even knowing this fact could not prepare her for what happened in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Hurricane Katrina demonstrated the need for residents to evacuate when mandated, for local and state authorities to work more efficiently together, and for the federal government to respond in a timely and responsible manner.

25. Use a narrative, descriptive language It was a dark and stormy night. The wind whipped through the trees while lightening flashed and thunder boomed. Up ahead on a hill, a rickety old house stood. In an upstairs window, a single, solitary light shone, casting an eerie shadow across the yard. John was in Chattanooga, Tennessee, on business, and was driving to the outskirts of the city to visit his aunt, an old woman he hadn’t seen in nearly twenty years. According to his directions, that rickety old house was his aunt’s house, but he didn’t know if he had the nerve to knock on the door. In fact, he couldn’t remember a time he had been more scared. Everyone experiences fear just as everyone experiences happiness or sadness. Fear is a natural human emotion to the unknown and is characterized by physical changes to the body, an innate need to escape, and acute awareness of one’s surroundings.

26. Use an attention-grabbing statement Some children cannot sit still. They fidget and do not listen. They appear distracted by every little thing and do not seem to learn from their mistakes. These children disregard rules, even when they are punished repeatedly. Many people see such kids and conclude that their parents must not know how to control them. However, the truth is that attention- deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is misunderstood. In fact, ADHD is a growing problem that requires more research to understand, better intervention programs to help afflicted children, and improved training and support programs to help parents and educators.

27. Use a shocking statement or statistic, use a quote McDonald’s has sold over 100 billion burgers. One hundred billion burgers with bun, stacked on top of one another would extend over 2.9 million miles into space-- twelve times as far as the moon (Grimes, 2007). What is the secret of McDonald’s incredible success? To use the words of Ray Kroc, McDonald’s founder, the secret to McDonald’s success is that the fast-food giant produces “consistently mediocre food” (Thomas, 2001). The McDonald’s corporation has become a model of success due to its understanding of its market niche, its ability to redefine its image over time, and its ability to remain stable and produce a profit even in difficult economic times.

28. Other approaches Use extended example or series of examples Define an essential term (one the reader may not be familiar with or that you need to reframe for the reader) Dramatize a scene

29. Conclusions: What should they do? Bring the essay to a logical close Reinforce the main idea in an engaging manner (without just repeating the thesis and introduction) Leave readers with something to think about

30. Strategies StrategyHow it works The echoRepeat key concepts or words to reiterate a point Audience appealPoints out to audience how things will turn out if the situation doesn’t change State the “so what”What is the deeper meaning to the argument? Back to the beginningA “mirror image” or completing a narrative begun in the introduction Where do we go from here?Suggest directions for further research, note problems that still need to be addressed

31. Example (audience appeal) The current political culture allows for staggering sums of money to be spent on campaigns. The basic idea is not so much about content as it is about getting the word out and creating a buzz. The more one hears about a candidate, the greater the buzz. And, of course, creating a buzz costs money, but, as advertisers have known for a long time, it is money well spent. Getting elected is a lot like selling laundry detergent, and until American citizens let their governmental advertisers know that they’ve had enough, that spending millions of dollars – even if it’s a candidate’s own money – to hold an office is ludicrous, then they have no one but themselves to blame.

32. Sample introduction A child’s world is full of violence. It appears in video games, films, and TV programs, and many parents in the hope of removing their children from some of this violence are encouraging and sometimes pushing their children into participating in organized sports. Unfortunately, this same violence is creeping into Little League, Pee Wee football, soccer, basketball, and hockey, in the form of the parents’ and coaches’ poor conduct and rage. This violent behavior on the part of parents and coaches must be curbed to bring back a focus on the rules and skills of the game as well as a sense of good sportsmanship and values. From “Curbing Parental Sports Rage,” the sample persuasive essay in the KU Handbook for Writers, p. 155.

33. Sample conclusion Parents across the United States and into Canada need to let go of their own agendas, and athletic associations need to enforce parental and coaching codes of conduct through classes and training. As a result, the world of youth sports can be returned to the children where they can all learn to enjoy a sport, learn the skills of a sport, play, and most of all, have fun. From “Curbing Parental Sports Rage,” the sample persuasive essay in the KU Handbook for Writers, p. 159.

34. References Top ten things not to do in your introduction (Power Point presentation created by Kaplan faculty member) Clements, K. (2010). Essay development. In Martinez, D., Carlson, S., & VanDam, K. (Eds), The Kaplan guide to successful writing (pp. 159- 204). New York: Kaplan Publishing.