1. Critical Conversations Crucial conversations

2. Structure of difficult conversations
The "What Happened" Conversation
Disagreement about what happened, blame.
Right vs wrong.
2. The Feelings Conversation
What about the other person?
3. The Identity Conversation
Self-image
Self-esteem

3. What makes conversations difficult?
Unpleasant, difficult to talk about
Dilemma: Avoid or confront
Delivering a difficult message

4. Target -What we can’t change/ +what we can
Explore each others’ stories

5. The Steps to Prepare Get unstuck 2. Start with “heart”
What is the right conversation to have?
What is at the heart of the matter?
2. Start with “heart”
What do I really want for myself,
the other person,
the relationship.

6. Steps 3. Make it safe Our mutual purpose Create mutual respect
4. Master the stories
What story is the other person telling?

7. Steps: STATE Share the facts…. “what”
Noncontroversial, persuasive, non-insulting
Tell my story as a story
Confidence, safety problems, contrasts
Ask questions to understand
Be tentative
Talk tentatively
Encourage testing
Invite opposing views, mean it, devil’s advocate