1. Navigating Personal Relationships Recognizing Sexual Harassment, Dating Violence and Abuse

2. Navigating Personal Relationships http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyJJ9aSJICM&feature=play er_detailpage

3. Sexual Harassment  Bullying or coercion of a sexual nature.  Includes unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.  Illegal

4.  When one person purposely hurts or scares someone they are dating  It can happen to anyone  It can occur on the first date or when you are in love  It happens to 1 in 10 high-school females  ALWAYS WRONG Dating Violence

5. Abusive Relationships  Physical Abuse : hitting, shoving, biting, kicking, throwing things  Emotional Abuse : yelling, name- calling, bullying, embarrassing, keeping you from your friends, saying you deserve the abuse  Sexual abuse : forcing you to do something sexual

6. Emotional Abuse  Monitors what you’re doing all the time  Unfairly accuses you of being unfaithful  Prevents/discourages you from seeing family/friends  Decides things for you that you should decide (what you wear or eat)  Gets angry in a frightening way  Very jealous or bossy  Blames you for the abuse  Humiliates you in front of others

7. Unhealthy Relationships: Force you to…  Focus all your energy on your partner  Drop friends/family/other things you enjoy  Feel pressured or controlled a lot  Have more bad times than good  Feel sad or scared when with your partner

8. Healthy Relationships Allow you to…  Have a life outside of the relationship  Have more good times than bad  Make decisions together/compromise  Deal with conflicts by talking honestly  Feel comfortable and able to be yourself  Feel like your partner supports you

9. Questions to ask yourself… Do I…  Do I feel scared of how my partner will react?  Do I make excuses for their behavior?  Do I believe I can make them change?  Do I only do what they want to do? Am I…  Am I afraid to make them mad?  Am I only with them because I am afraid of what they will do if I leave?

10. Questions to ask yourself… Does my partner?...  Embarrass or make fun of me  Put down my goals/accomplishments  Tell me I am nothing without them  Treat me rough  Make excuses for hurting me  Blame me for how they feel  Pressure me to do things I don’t want to do

11. You have the right…  The right to act in ways that promote your dignity and self-respect  The right to be treated with respect  The right to say no and not feel guilty  The right to experience and express your feelings  The right to take time to slow down and think  The right to change your mind  The right to ask for what you want  The right to stay within your limits  The right to ask for information  The right to make mistakes  The right to feel good about yourself

12. How to Respond Aggressive You do not respect others’ right of expression Passive You do not respect your own right of expression  Be Assertive You respect your right of expression without denying others’ rights

13. Lines and Comeback Lines “ Everyone’s doing it”  Then you won’t have a problem finding someone else to do it “If you love me you’ll have sex with me”  If you love me, you’ll respect my feelings and stop “Sex will only help our love grow”  Into what…parents?

14. Lines and Comeback Lines “You don’t know what you’re missing”  Then that will make two of us “I love you so much that I want to give you more”  Why not give me your self control and let me keep my purity “You don’t understand, guys have to have sex”  No one has ever died from not having sex and I’m sure you won’t be the first

15. What to do? If you are being sexually harassed, have experienced dating violence or you are in an abusive relationship…  Remember your rights as a person  Get help from a counselor, teacher, principal, or family member  Call 911 or a Hotline for help  Create a safety plan  Hang out with people you trust

16. How can you help? Your friend Chris’ girlfriend scratches and throws objects at him when she gets angry. He states that it is not violence because he could fight back, but he states guys shouldn’t hit girls. What can you say to help him discuss the violence in this relationship?

17. What should you do? Tony and Krista have been dating for a couple of weeks. One night when he picks her up at her house, she is wearing her favorite yellow sweater. Krista asks him what he thinks about her sweater. Tony does not like the sweater. Tony tells Krista that he hates yellow and the sweater makes her look cheap. He tells her to change into something else. He further complains that she never thinks about him, just about herself and what she likes. She changes her sweater. What should Krista do in this situation?

18. What should you do? Your best friend’s boyfriend is physically and emotionally abusive. Your friend always wears long sleeved shirts to hide her bruises. Your friend told you in confidence about the abuse and wants you to promise not to tell anyone. What should you do?

19. How can you help? Stephanie is really excited about trying out for the step team. She can hardly wait to tell her boyfriend, Todd. However, Todd is not excited about her trying out for the step team because he is jealous of the time she will have to commit and the people she will meet there. Todd tells her it’s stupid and she probably won’t make the team anyway. If she chooses to try out, he tells her that their relationship is over. She decides not to try out. What advice can you give Stephanie?

20. How can you help? Your friend Keith has been spending all of his time with his new girlfriend, who has isolated him from all of his old friends. You have noticed that he seems to have lost his self-confidence and never wants to hang our with the guys. You decide to talk to him about it. What should you say?

21. What should you do? One day Pedro stops by Jennifer’s house unannounced. She tells him that she didn’t know he was coming over and has arranged to go to the mall with her friends. Pedro loses control and threatens to hit her. He then slams the door shattering the pictures on the wall, but later apologizes. What should Jennifer do?

22. What should you do? Amy and Paul are at a an amusement park. As they wait in line to ride one of the most popular roller coasters, Amy asks Paul if he thinks he is going to fit in the cart. Paul gets upset but Amy starts to laugh and tease him about his weight. How should Paul handle this situation?