1. Geneva 1/2/03 Welcome to the Seminar on Biblical Peacemaking

2. Geneva 1/2/03 AIMS OF SEMINAR  Increase understanding of biblical principles for handling conflict  See conflict in a more positive light  Focus on 1 or 2 areas where you could grow as a peacemaker

3. Geneva 1/2/03 Where two or three are gathered in Jesus’ name, There will eventually be conflict !

4. Geneva 1/2/03 PEACEMAKING IS NOT OPTIONAL Make every effort to maintain peace… Eph 4. 1-3 As far as it depends on you, live at peace.. Romans 12.18 May they be brought to complete unity… John 17.20-24

5. Geneva 1/2/03 Peace brings  Blessing Psalm 133  PowerMathew 18.18-19  Effective witnessJohn 17.21 BUT contrast the devastating effect of strife The stakes are high

6. Geneva 1/2/03 What is Conflict? A difference in opinion or purpose that frustrates someone’s goals or desires.

7. Geneva 1/2/03 KEY QUESTIONS  How should we respond to our own conflicts?  How can we help others to respond to their conflicts?

8. Geneva 1/2/03 The Slippery Slope

9. Geneva 1/2/03 A biblical theology for conflict resolution... G lorify God G et the log out of your own eye G o and show your brother his fault G o and be reconciled The Four G’s

10. Geneva 1/2/03 1 st G Glorify God 1 Cor 10.31  How can I honour and please God in this situation  Powerful and penetrating question for whenever we hit conflict

11. Geneva 1/2/03 Conflict provides opportunities...  Glorify God  Serve other people  Grow to be like Christ

12. Geneva 1/2/03 REMEMBER  A dversity  B uilds  C haracter

13. Geneva 1/2/03 STEWARDS of CONFLICT  Not Why Me Lord? but rather Why LORD?  Conflict is an Assignment not an Accident

14. Geneva 1/2/03 2 nd G Get Log out of Own Eye Mathew 7.5  How have I contributed to the conflict?  What do I need to do to resolve it?

15. Geneva 1/2/03 Can I OVERLOOK the offence ? Proverbs 19.11  Why should I ?  When should I ?  How should I ?

16. Geneva 1/2/03 If too serious to overlook  Examine yourself  True Repentance for causing or inflaming the conflict  Full and gracious apology often paves the way for softening of hearts

17. Geneva 1/2/03 The Seven A’s of Confession  Address everyone involved  Avoid if, but, and maybe  Admit specifically  Apologize  Accept the consequences  Alter your behavior  Ask for forgiveness

18. Geneva 1/2/03 3 rd G GO and SHOW YOUR BROTHER HIS FAULT Mathew 18.15  How can I help others to understand how they have contributed to this conflict Gal 6.1  May discover a misunderstanding  May find you are wrong  May help other person to avoid the snare of unforgiveness

19. Geneva 1/2/03 Elements of effective confrontation  Pray and Plan  Anticipate possible responses  Private  Sensible time and place  Face to face  Gracious tone of voice  Body language

20. Geneva 1/2/03 Effective confronation contd  Communication skills  Avoid exaggeration or wild language  Use Bible wisely  Exit strategy

21. Geneva 1/2/03 Involving others  Mediation If he will not listen, take one or two witnesses…Mathew 18.16  Church Discipline If he still will not listen, tell it to the Church…Mathew 18.17  Litigation Only when all else has failed 1 Cor 6.1-10

22. Geneva 1/2/03 4 th G Go and be Reconciled Mathew 5.22-24  Forgive as God forgave you  Parable of unjust servant Mathew 18  A decision not a feeling  Replacement principle Phil 4.8

23. Geneva 1/2/03 Forgiveness is a decision to make four promises  I will not think about this incident  I will not bring this incident up and use it against you  I will not talk to others about this incident  I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship

24. Geneva 1/2/03 Negotiation The PAUSE Principle  Prepare  Affirm Relationships  Understand Interests  Search for creative solutions  Evaluate options objectively and reasonably

25. Geneva 1/2/03 IdentifyIdentify Issues Positions Interests - often the key

26. Geneva 1/2/03 Communication Skills Listen actively... Waiting Clarifying Reflecting Agreeing

27. Geneva 1/2/03 People come up with amazing excuses to avoid obeying God’s word  I shouldn’t judge others  It’s up to God to show him that he’s done wrong  It’s too trivial  There’s nothing to resolve as far as I’m concerned  I’ll deal with it in my own time  Things have gone too far – there’s no way back now

28. Geneva 1/2/03 Word Picture Husband and Wife Discussion  What were Wife’s position(s)  What were her Interest(s)  What were Husband’s position(s)  What were his Interest(s)  How could Wife have avoided Husband’s misunderstandings about what she had been thinking and vice versa

29. Geneva 1/2/03 Slippery Slope Janet Farley takeover  Where did the ousted women’s group Chair start? What was her first reply to her daughter?  Where did she get to in the end?  Where was she at various times on the Slippery Slope?  What should she do next?

30. Geneva 1/2/03 Jesus said Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God Remember the peacemaker junkie ! Shalom and Au Revoir