2. The Value of Children I. What are some important words that serve as a basis for mutual family respect? A. There are some English words that relate to this area of respect. 1. Respect (Rom. 12:10) Meaning: A just regard for and appreciation of worth; honor and esteem; courteous regard.

3. 2. Esteem (Phil. 2:3-4) Meaning: To value highly; regard as having worth or excellence 3. Regard (Gal. 5:13) Meaning: Observant attention or notice; heed; consideration

4. 4. Recognition (I Cor. 12:20-27) Meaning: “Acknowledgement of the validity of something; an indication of appreciation or approval of; formal approval; a regard for the genuineness of something.” 5. Dignity (I Pet. 2:17) Meaning: “The state or quality of being excellent, worthy or honorable”

5. B. There are some Hebrew and Greek words that apply to this area of respect. 1. The Hebrew word used in the Old Testament for “honor” means to treat something as “precious or costly.” 2. The Greek word used in the New Testament for “honor” relates directly to how much worth or value that something is seen to have. It is the legal appraised (Acts 19:19).

6. II. What is the value or worth of a child? A. Sometimes it is difficult to see the value of a child. Why? 1. Because of their small size. 2. Because of their limited knowledge. 3. Because of their candid and at times irritating questions. 4. Because children seem to have nothing to offer.

7. 5. Because they do not contribute anything to their support. 6. Because they can embarrass us at times. 7. Because of the way we were treated as a child. 8. Because they do not measure up to our expectations.

8. B. Things that we value we treat with great respect and regard. If we value… 1. An automobile, it means that we take extra good care of it. 2. A public official, it means that we watch them attentively and are careful and discerning in their presence.

9. 3. An heirloom, it means that we treat it as a special, private possession with dignity and honor giving it special protection and care and a place of honor in our home. When it comes to values, it is very easy to give major attention to minor matters and minor attention to major matters.

10. C. The world has one view of children. 1. They are in the way. 2. They tie me down. 3. They are a messy nuisance. 4. They are keeping me from pursuing my career goals. 5. They are an interruption in my life.

11. D. God has another view of children. 1. Children are valid members of the Body of Christ (I Cor. 12:14-21). 2. Children are a significant blessing above all other (Gen. 17:16; 28:3; Ps. 107:38; 128:3). 3. Children are a gracious gift from God (Gen 33:4-5). 4. Children are the inheritance of the Lord (Ps. 127:3-5).

12. 5. Children are the reward of the Lord (Ps. 127:3). 6. Children are cause for great happiness (Ps. 127:5).

13. III. How are parents to treat their children respectfully? If parents are to treat their children respectfully they must: A. Change the way they see their children. B. Honor them in the way that they present them to the public.

14. C. Treat them the way they would want to be treated. 1. Look at them when you speak to them. 2. Take the time to talk to them when they want to talk to you. 3. Respect their desires when planning family activities. 4. Do not speak to them in harsh or negative ways.

15. 5. Do not use embarrassment to adjust or correct them. 6. Allow them to express their opinions freely in family discussions. 7. Do not label them with negative nicknames or use name calling. 8. Never refer to children in general negative terms. 9. Be free to express affection for the child in words and deeds.

16. 10. Never laugh at the child. Laugh with them. 11. Be careful never to show favoritism among children (Deut. 21:15-17).

17. Ask yourself: Do I address one more than another? Do I ask one to do more with me than another? Do I greet one with more enthusiasm than another? Do I make a bigger fuss over one report card than another? Do I give gifts of equal value?

18. 12. Be careful not to compare them with others. 13. Do not over-react to the things that they say and do. Most of the time we over-react because of self-centeredness, tiredness or busyness. Perhaps our life is out of balance. Parents must learn to control their own spirit (Pro. 16:32; 14:17).

19. 14. Never demean your child when talking about them to others, especially in their presence. 15. Avoid all unbiblical forms of discipline. No slapping, pulling ears or hair, jerking, shaking, lifting them suddenly off of the floor, grabbing suddenly, squeezing arms too tight, pinching, setting down too hard, biting or any other eye-for-an-eye method.

20. 16. Be eager to apologize and ask forgiveness as you would any other adult. 17. Take them seriously when they express concerns. 18. Show genuine interest in the things that are part of their lives (e.g. problems, friends, hurts, failures, sports, victories, hobbies and interests).

21. 19. Show appreciation when they make efforts to please them. 20. Praise them often. 21. Pay prompt and cheerful attention to their needs. 22. Keep your words and promises to them!

22. IV. What are some symptoms in children that might be reflect a need in this area? While many of the following symptoms can arise from other sources, dishonoring our children can produce them as well. Bedwetting Bad dreams Security blanket

23. Extensive thumb sucking Avoidance of eye contact Wounded spirit Extensive shyness Indecisiveness Inability to be free around adults Low self-image Tendency toward melancholy (Pro. 15:13)

24. As parents we need to repent and do what God would do in these areas. Do not expect changes overnight, but as you sow new seed you will surely reap a new crop.