1. 1 English 1010 Writing Workshop Spring 2013 Meet twice a week M, Th (Sec.1a) Monday 4:10-6:00 (2-116) Thursday 4:10-6:00 (2-221) E-mail: Austin Casey austinkc@hotmail.com Phone: 134 3922 0499 Website: http://austincasey.yolasite.com/ Office Hours:

2. 2 English 1010 Writing Workshop Spring 2013 Meet twice a week T, Th (Sec.1b) Tuesday 4:10-6:00 (2-105) Thursday 8:00-9:50 (2-215) E-mail: Austin Casey austinkc@hotmail.com Phone: 134 3922 0499 Website: http://austincasey.yolasite.com/ Office Hours:

3. 3 Thesis Statement first journal topic: write about an event in your life Vocabulary 2: p.2-3 Homework: Type your paper that you wrote today, make sure it is over 150 words. Make a heading

4. 4 What is a Thesis Statement? A thesis statement is the main idea of an essay. It is often a point you want to argue or support in an essay. So: The thesis statement explains to the reader the main idea of the essay, and the writer’s opinion on that idea.

5. 5 What is a Thesis Statement? A thesis statement is only one sentence. It is always in the introduction of an essay. A thesis statement is an opinion (It can be argued). A good essay must have sentences to support your thesis!

6. 6 What is a Thesis Statement? A thesis statement needs a topic and an opinion. Topic: what you want to talk about Opinion: what do you think about the topic

7. 7 For your thesis DO NOT use: first person (I believe, In my opinion...) unclear language (It seems, etc.) 2 ideas facts - A thesis is something you plan to make an argument about.

8. 8 Thesis: Don't be too general: Pets are good. Be specific: It is healthy to have a dog because you can exercise together and you will never be lonely.

9. 9 Thesis Statements Examples: Examples p.49 Thesis statements are important for academic writing, TOEFL, and IELTS writing.

10. 10 Example Thesis Statements 1. Our cafeteria would be greatly improved if several changes were made. 2. Doctors are often great role models because of the way they dress, talk, and behave. 3. My first night as a security guard turned out to be one of the most frightening experiences of my life. 4. Motorcycles are inferior to cars because they are harder to control, seasonal, and produce more noise. 5. The twentieth century produced three inventions that dramatically changed the lives of all Americans.

11. 11 Example Thesis Statements 6. Stress in the fast-food workplace has led to serious physical, psychological, and emotional problems for employees. 7. Advertisers target young people in order to market popular goods like shoes, phones, and backpacks. 8. Living in a city has certain advantages over living in the suburbs. 9. Before moving away from home, every person should have mastered certain key skills. 10. Independent “mom and pop” stores are superior to larger chain stores for a number of reasons.

12. 12 Let's Make a Thesis: Topics: Beijing, My hometown, Education, Pets, A trip that you took (Example: Hainan is the most____ because ______) 1 topic + 1 opinion Hint: You want to teach me something or recommend something to me.

13. 13 More Hints: Try to exaggerate ideas to make it more interesting. Ex: I like movies = I am a movie fanatic There are many people at the theater = the theater is too crowded I want to eat the snacks = it is impossible not to eat the snacks There is no parking space = it is impossible to find a parking space Don’t start the sentence with I or You every time. Try to use different ways. Ex: Start the sentence with a verb. Parking my car at the movie theater is impossible!

14. 14 Short Assignment: Take out a piece of paper. Write down an interesting event in your life. It can be anything you like. You can choose something super happy, or even something sad or something that made you very very angry. Have fun with it! 1 paragraph = 150-250 words (about half a sheet of paper) Try to make a thesis and underline it Hints: What made you so happy? When was the angriest time of your life? What was the biggest adventure that you had with your friends when you were small? What made you so sad? Try to think of something interesting. You can use this topic for your first journal.

15. 15 This is a heading: Your Name My Name Class Name Date

16. 16 Thesis Statement Important: thesis statement: must be an argument! Write it as if you were recommending something. It is your life experience but you must have learned something.

17. 17 Example Paragraph

18. Introduction with hook & thesis Topic Sentence 1 a. Evidence b. Evidence c. Example Make an Outline: Topic Sentence 2 a. Evidence b. Evidence c. Example Topic Sentence 3 a. Evidence b. Evidence c. Example Conclusion

19. Going to the movie theater is a hassle Transportation a. Driving to theater b. Parking c. Walking Make an Outline: Temptations (unhealthy snacks) a. popcorn b. Milk Duds c. soda Moviegoers / patrons a. kids b. teenagers c. All people Conclusion

20. I love the movie theater, but it is a hassle. Traffic/cars a. Long drive b. No parking c. Long walk Make an Outline: Temptations a. popcorn b. Milk Duds c. Giant soda Moviegoers a. kids b. teenagers c. All people The inconvenience of moviegoing

21. Thesis: Private car is a hassle Traffic Jam a. I had a traffic jam b. Too many cars c. Make an Outline: Cannot Drive certain days a. License plate number b. Too many want license c. Price was increased Difficult to park a. Expensive b. No spaces c. Waste time park Conclusion

22. 22 Form Introduction with thesis 1 supporting paragraph 2 supporting paragraph 3 supporting paragraph Conclusion

23. 23 A Standard Essay Introduction Thesis: While I love movies as much as ever, the inconvenience of going out, the temptations of the theater, and the behavior of some patrons are reasons for me to wait and rent the video 1 supporting paragraph To begin with, I just don't enjoy the general hassle of the evening. 2 supporting paragraph Second, the theater offers tempting snacks that I really don't need. 3 supporting paragraph Many of the other patrons are even more of a problem than the concession stand. Conclusion I was tired of the problems involved in getting to the theater, resisting unhealthy snacks, and dealing with the patrons.

24. 24 The Hazards of Moviegoing Introduction Hook: catch reader's interest Thesis Body Topic sentence 1 with evidence Topic sentence 2 with evidence Topic sentence 3 with evidence Conclusion Summary General closing remarks

25. 25 The Hazards of Moviegoing Introduction Hook: catch reader's interestWhat is the hook? ThesisWhat is the thesis? Body Topic sentence 1 with evidenceWhat is the 1 st topic sentence? Topic sentence 2 with evidence What is the 2 nd topic sentence? Topic sentence 3 with evidence What is the 3 rd topic sentence? Conclusion SummaryWhat connects the conclusion to the thesis? General closing remarks

26. 26 What is a good thesis statement? Basketball is good.-----NO Basketball can help people to overcome disadvantages and have a better life----Yes But, explain why in your topic sentences. Check p.50 for more information about the thesis

27. Check your thesis statement: topic + opinion Can the reader find your thesis statement? Can the reader easily find your topic and opinion in your thesis statement? Can the reader find your topic sentences? Can the reader find your opinion? Is your thesis statement just a fact? Or does it contain your opinion?

28. Bad thesis statements They don’t have an opinion *I had a good time in Australia. *I like dogs. *There are many computer games that you can play. *The author describes many images of the ocean in the novel.

29. Good thesis statements They have your opinion that can be argued *My encounters with the ghosts show the power of the mind. *My best friend and I have a relationship that has moved through different stages, and I think that is why we are so close. *Playing computer games can help you develop your mental skills. *Eating too many sweets can be a problem because you will have to go to the dentist, you will waste money, and you will get fat.

30. 30 Remember, this is a heading: I prefer no spaces for the heading Your name Austin Casey Academic Writing (your section) Date (date you finished the essay or journal)

31. 31 Remember: A thesis statement needs a topic and an opinion. Topic: what you want to talk about Opinion: what do you think about the topic

32. Essay Types: You will write 2 essays and weekly journals 1. Remembering an Event (550-650 words) Something that happened to you. An interesting event that you remember clearly. 2. Writing a Profile (550-650 words) You will describe something or someone. 3. Proposing a Solution (550-650 words) You will discuss a problem and explain how to fix it 6. Journal Entries These will be given by the instructor. They will cover various topics. Very similar to IELTS Task 2 questions 7. Vocabulary Quiz A weekly quiz on the target words

33. Writing a Profile: Description Essay “The devil is in the details.” Benjamin Franklin

34. What is a Description Essay A description essay appeals to the reader’s five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. It paints a vivid picture with words. The writer’s purpose is to describe people, places, or objects as detailed as possible so that the readers are able to form a clear picture in their minds.

35. To write a description essay,follow the following steps... Step one: Choose an interesting topic (a person, place or an object)

36. Step two: Decide on what kind of main impression you want to convey with your description Examples: Topic—Cambridge Campus Main Impression—Cambridge campus is vibrant with the past. It has a great history and historical artifacts like Newton's tree. Topic—My Grandma Main Impression—My grandma is a strong and powerful woman.

37. Step three: Support the main impression with at least three major features. Examples: Cambridge Campus is vibrant: one can sense the lively atmosphere by watching students busy socializing, faculty members busy conduction classes, and student organizing activities My grandmother is a strong woman. Her strength lies in her intellectual power, her emotional steadiness and her good health.

38. Step four: Use descriptive details. The following are ways to provide descriptive details. Vague: The pickles tasted strange. Improved: The pickles tasted bitter and spoiled. Vague: The old house smelled strange. Improved: The old house smelled like damp cheese Vague: The man smiled. Improved: The hulking, wild-haired, handsome man grinned widely.

39. Fixing the wording 1). Replace being verbs (am, be, been, is, was, were) with descriptive action words to improve a description essay. Vague: Leo is having a conversation with Elizabeth. Improved: Leo whispers lovely secrets into Elizabeth’s ear. Improved: Leo yelled at Elizabeth for making a mess in the canteen so loud that he embarrassed her in front of her professor Vague: The music is heard throughout the apartment. Improved: The music blares throughout the apartment, destroying dishes and sending our dog to hide away under the bed. Improved: The school choir sings soft songs but has a powerful bass line which can be heard for miles around campus, in fact last year some dogs were so frightened that they began to roam wild and attack citizens.

40. Fixing the wording 2). Replace boring verbs with action verbs to further enrich the description in the essay. Vague: The salesman looked at Erika when she opened the door. Improved: The salesman started his presentation at Erika when she opened the door. Vague: Paul’s hungry date ate the pastry. Improved: Paul’s hungry date devoured the pastry and got white powdered sugar all over her face until she looked like a scary ghost. 3). Avoid vague nouns, such as thing, stuff, and item. Vague: Honesty is a thing that I admire. Improved: Honesty is a trait that I admire. Vague: Henry gave the stuff to his brother. Improved: Henry gave a truckload of fantasy novels to his brother.

41. Writing Descriptive Essays I. Introduction 1. Lead-in: Introduce the person or place to be described in an interesting way. 2. Transition: Explain how you get to know this person or place. 3. Thesis Statement: 1). Present the main impression of the person or place. 2). Present the three features that support the dominant impression.

42. Body Body Paragraph 1 1. Topic Sentence: Introduce the first feature. 2. Supporting Details: Use descriptive details. 3. Closing Remarks: Summarize this paragraph. Body Paragraph 2 1. Topic Sentence: Introduce the second feature. 2. Supporting Details: Use descriptive details. 3. Closing Remarks: Summarize this paragraph. Body Paragraph 3 1. Topic Sentence: Introduce the third feature. 2. Supporting Details: Use descriptive details. 3. Closing Remarks: Summarize this paragraph.

43. Conclusion 1. Rephrase the thesis sentence. 2. Restate the three features. 3. Extend the significance of the description.

44. 44 Short Assignment: Take out a piece of paper. Describe a simple object. 1 paragraph = about 150-250 words Use various adjectives and idioms. (Make a thesis.) Hints: Choose a normal object and make it come to life. Such as a bottle of water or a pencil. Each item has a history. You may attribute human traits to the object. Start with a boring thing and try to make it interesting. It is similar to creative writing.

45. 45 What is a good essay? Structure is more important than content > The structure is correct > At the end of the introduction (the thesis), the reader knows the essay topic clearly. > The main topic is clearly expressed. > The main topic is creative and new. It stands out. > The main idea is well developed. You have already considered any problems that may come up. > The transition is smooth and logical. > Each paragraph has a clear relation to the main topic. > There is evidence and examples to support your essay. > There are good vocabulary words and sentences. > The conclusion is done correctly. > Research is correctly documented. Cite your sources.

46. 46 Homework: Finish writing the in class assignment Remember: Use the heading I gave you. Double space, use Times New Roman, and 12 point font. Make a thesis statement (underline it) 150-250 words (about half a page)