1. A few writing tips…
Don’t start sentences with question words unless you’re asking a question.
For example…
When the dragon rises and there was a big fight is the climax.
How they go to school every day is they walk to the bus stop and take the bus.
Question words take the place of whatever they’re asking about, so just use the whatever you’re asking about instead.

2. A few writing tips… Sentences never begin with “because”
Use “The fact that…,” “The reason…,” “Due to this,”or something similar whenever the urge to begin a sentence with “because” hits you
Sentences shouldn’t begin with “so”
Idea one: combine the “so” sentence with the one that precedes it
Idea two: Drop the “so.” It probably isn’t needed anyway.
If the transition/bridging word is necessary, then use “As a result...”

3. A few writing tips… Add context!
“Context” n. – (1) the words that are used with a certain word or phrase that help to explain its meaning (2) the situation in which something happens
Contextualizing (adding context) adds words with quotations and evidence in order to explain the situation in which that evidence happened
Contextualizing evidence has two benefits.
First, it clears things up for the reader who may not know the same stuff you do.
Second, it helps lengthen your essay and explain your evidence.

4. A few writing tips… For example…
Roald Dahl uses word choices, events, and hints in the story to make it very sinister and creepy. The landlady keeps telling Billy that he is “Exactly right.” Then, “…her blue eyes travelled slowly all the way down Billy’s body, and back up again…” (638) when she says “Exactly right.” It makes the reader think, “Exactly right for what?”
This needs context. The evidence is good, and the thesis is good too.
Who is Billy? Who is the landlady? What’s her name? Why are they even talking to each other? Where are they?

5. A few writing tips… For example…
Roald Dahl uses word choices, events, and hints in the story to make it very sinister and creepy. In this story, 17-year old Billy Weaver is in a new city to start a new job, and he needs a place to stay. He visits a bed and breakfast which caught his eye to see if it is a good place to stay. He enters and meets a nameless landlady. The landlady keeps telling Billy that he is “Exactly right.” Then, “…her blue eyes travelled slowly all the way down Billy’s body, and back up again…” (638) when she says “Exactly right.” It makes the reader think, “Exactly right for what?” This introduces one of the first creepy hints that something is not right with the landlady or the situation.
Add context to your essay by setting up your evidence with whatever background information is needed for the reader to better understand. Sometimes this only needs to happen at the beginning of your essay. Other times, this needs to happen a little bit before each quote.
Added context is usually no more than a sentence or two.