1. Communicating in Close Relationships
Chapter 9
Communicating in Close Relationships

2. Overview of Themes
The importance of communication in close relationships
Close relationships and the individual
Communicating in friendships and romantic relationships
The individual, relationship communication, and society
Ethics and close relationships
Improving your relationship initiation skills

3. The Importance of Communication in Close Relationships.

4. The Importance of Communication in Close Relationships
Central to psychological and physiological health
People are happier and healthier when they have good relationships

5. What Are Close Relationships?
Relationships in which people see each other as unique and irreplaceable
Communication marked by high disclosure and openness .

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7. Attraction Theory Proximity Attractiveness Similarity
Physical Closeness
Electronic Closeness
Attractiveness
Physical Attractiveness
The Matching Hypothesis
Personality
Similarity
Values and Interests
Uncertainty Reduction Theory .

8. Social Penetration Theory
Relationships increase through self- disclosure
3 dimensions of self-disclosure
Breadth – range of topics
Depth – how personal exchanges are
Frequency – how often exchanges occur
Irwin Altman .

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11. Uncertainty Reduction Theory
Relationship development is facilitated or derailed by participants’ efforts to reduce their uncertainty about each other
Focus on when people first meet
If our initial attempts to reduce uncertainty lead to positive results, we will increase our disclosure .

12. Predicted Outcome Value Theory
In early interactions, people reduce uncertainty to determine whether continuing to interact is worth time and energy
Positive predictions  continued interaction
Negative predictions  de-escalation of the relationship .

13. Relational Dialectic Theory
We experience tension between contradictory, but related needs
Autonomy/connection
Expressiveness/privacy
Change/predictability .

14. The Knapp and Vangelisti’s Stages of Relational Development.

15. Turning Point Model of Relationship Development.

16. Communicating in Friendships and Romantic Relationships.

17. Initiating Relationships
Romantic Relationships
Flirting
Gender differences
Communication and dating
Friendships
Conversational initiation skills vital
Open with a non- threatening comment
Ask broad, open- ended questions
Listen attentively .

18. Maintaining Relationships
Effective communication leads to relational satisfaction
People use strategic and routine behaviors to keep relationships satisfying .

19. Relational Maintenance Strategies
Romantic Relationships
Positivity
Openness
Assurances
Social Networks
Sharing Tasks
Joint Activities
Mediated Communication
Avoidance/Antisocial
Humor
Friendships
Conversation
Similar Communication Skills
Assurances
Positivity
Open Discussion
Listening
Sharing Time .

20. Relationship Termination
Difficulties in understanding relationship termination
Unwillingness to discuss
Identifying when termination begins
Termination trajectories
Sudden death
Passing away .

21. Why Relationships End Romantic Relationships Lack of autonomy
Lack of similarity
Lack of supportiveness
Infidelity
Inequity
Absence of romance
“Fatal Attractions”
Friendships
Minimal pressure to maintain
Lack of awareness
Lack of proximity
Decreased affection
Lack of comm. skills
Rule-breaking
Deception
Boredom .

22. Relationship Termination Strategies
Romantic Relationships
Negative identity management
De-escalation
Justification
Behavioral
Friendships
Withdrawal/ avoidance
Third-party message
Positive tone
Openness .

23. Aversive Communication Behaviors in Relationships
Frequency
Examples: Nagging, Criticizing, Teasing
Deception
The Impact of the Truth Bias
Particularly Devastating in Friendships
Jealousy
Combination of Emotions
Result of Perceived Threat to Relationship
Gender Differences .

24. Aversive Communication Behaviors in Relationships, cont.
Interpersonal Violence
Frequency
Battering
Situational couple violence
Sexual Coercion
Date Rape vs. Sexual Coercion
Contributors to Sexual Coercion .

25. The Individual, Relationship Communication, and Society.

26. Society, Power, Courtship and Marriage
Society sets norms for mate selection & behavior—high homogeneity
Society sets norms for communication behavior
Social norms inhibit some groups from expressing their relationships
Businesses set policies that affect employees’ relationships .

27. Society, Power, and Friendship
Individuals face pressure from social groups regarding friendship choices
Norms/beliefs about cross-sex friendships affect their enactment
Society has norms about the relative role of friends in our lives .

28. Ethics and Close Relationships.

29. Some Guidelines Recognize the importance of authentic communication
Confront important issues
Take responsibility
Allow others to speak from their own positions and experiences .

30. Improving Your Relationship Communication Skills.

31. Improving Your Relationship Communication Skills
Communicating dissatisfaction is challenging and can lead to hurtful messages
Hurtful messages can be unintentional or intentional
Intensity of the message and context of the delivery affect reception of the message
We still need to convey negative messages sometimes
Apologies and justifications can help repair the damage .