1. What Job Ads REALLY Mean

2. WE STAY COMPETITIVE BY PAYING YOU LESS THAN OUR COMPETITION. “Competitive Salary”

3. WE HAVE NO TIME TO TRAIN YOU. “Fast-Paced Company”

4. SINCE WE DON’T PAY YOU MUCH, WE DON’T EXPECT YOU TO DRESS UP. “Casual Work Atmosphere”

5. SOME EVERY NIGHT AND SOME EVERY WEEKEND. “Some Overtime Required”

6. ANYONE IN THE OFFICE CAN BOSS YOU AROUND. “Duties Will Vary”

7. WE HAVE NO QUALITY ASSURANCE. “Must Have an Eye for Detail”

8. FEMALE APPLICANTS MUST BE CHILDLESS (AND REMAIN THAT WAY). “Career-Minded”

9. FORGET IT IF YOU’RE OLD, FAT, OR UGLY. “Apply in Person”

10. YOU’LL BE REPLACING 3 PEOPLE WHO JUST QUIT. “Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience”

11. YOU’RE WALKING INTO PERPETUAL CHAOS. “Problem-Solving Skills a MUST”

12. YOU’LL HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF A MANAGER WITHOUT THE PAY OR RESPECT. “Requires Team Leadership Skills”

13. MANAGEMENT COMMUNICATES. YOU LISTEN AND FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY WANT. “Good Communication Skills”